Going on maternity leave knowing you won't go back

[LikeAGlove]

Has anyone else done this? I feel really bad about it.

I'm about to go on maternity leave in January. I am taking the full year however, I already know that I won't be returning.

My husband owns a business and we plan for me to work very part time there instead once SMP ends.

I wouldn’t feel guilty -my company pays full pay for 6 months so no way would I be leaving early just because I felt bad. If they wanted to it is completely legal to add a clause saying you have to pay back extra pay over smp if you don’t come back for two years or whatever. But they haven’t. So I won’t feel bad, if they were that bothered they could have covered their asses. Having said that, I work in consulting where people are highly interchangeable so there is no guilt around my team having to cover for me rather than hiring a replacement, as we don’t have permanent teams anyway. But I’d still do it - as others have said, your company would make you redundant at the drop of a hat if they had to.

Yep, good idea to leave yourself the option. If this is your first child and you haven't tried staying at home with a baby yet you can't really make an informed decision so early. And you don't fully know what position your family will be in after a year.

Do not resign before your mat leave as some people have suggested - you will loose your accrued holiday pay.

And don't feel bad, your entitled to leave whenever you want. If they really wanted to keep you then they would have offered flexibility. It's not your problem

I don’t know why people act with more loyalty to a company than they would do so to you. Most companies wouldn’t keep someone on if it wasn’t in the interests of the business, just out of the goodness of their own heart. OP shouldn’t act with loyalty to the company to her own financial detriment either.

What with brexit and covid 19..,keep your options open and don't feel guilty.

I did this. Didn't feel an ounce of guilt. I worked for a huge multinational. There was hundreds of people coming up the ranks to replace me, it's not like they were going to be left stranded.

Don't resign until your leave ends, not just the pay. You earn holiday while your off and you'll get that as a lump sum when you leave.

I didn’t intend to return but I changed my mind towards the end because I loved my job and they declined all four of my flexi requests.
So I never went back anyways. Actually felt really sad that declined my requests 😂

I did this, rightly or wrongly. I got enhanced mat pay which surprisingly I was not contractually obliged to pay back. They were working on basis of me coming back after a year. I resigned 3/4 months before I was due to return. I didn’t miss out on anything financially but they had notice to replace me. This felt like a reasonable compromise to me and assuaged some underlying guilt I felt. But I felt I had given the company a lot in my time there. Knowing that I was unlikely to return I also put a lot of effort into recruiting and inducting my cover who stayed on after I resigned. Also you never know what might happen during mat leave. You may change your mind or circumstances change. Don’t rush to resign. Keep your options open.

I did this and would recommend, looking at your notice period, give it so it runs until the one year from start of your maternity, so you accrue the additional 3 months annual leave entitlement ?

Check your contract or the maternity policy so

1. you know what benefits you accrue or keep during mat leave eg holiday, pension, childcare vouchers (whatever they’re called now), medical insurance etc.
2. you know what date to hand your notice in (I think ours says 8 weeks before the date you’re due to return, the return date is the 12 months from starting nat leave, not the end of SMP). Definitely worth staying employed for as long as possible. You never know if they’ll give everyone a bonus , make you redundant with huge payout etc I got made redundant on maternity leave and was quite ill, luckily covered under DHs medical insurance.

I did this. My boss did know this though and I spoke to HR who said just take the SMP not the enhanced and hand your notice in in line with your contract and it’s fine. They said the same, you don’t know what could happen in a year. You are completely entitled to do this.

If this is your first baby keep your options open. I was going to resign as I definitely 100% wasn’t going to go back. Then 9 months later all I wanted was to be back with my old work colleagues feeling a little bit human again. It might make sense on paper to work with your DH but keep your options open.

Also for the purpose of gaps in employment on your CV it’s better to stay employed during mat leave.

I wouldn’t feel bad in the slightest, especially if they aren’t giving enhanced mat pay! And a lot can change in a year, you’re doing the right thing keeping your options open

Thank you! I feel much better about it now.

I don't want to do it now for all the reasons mentioned by PPs!

They haven't hired maternity cover for me, it's shared out between colleagues I believe.

@ShirleyPhallus

I don’t know why people act with more loyalty to a company than they would do so to you. Most companies wouldn’t keep someone on if it wasn’t in the interests of the business, just out of the goodness of their own heart. OP shouldn’t act with loyalty to the company to her own financial detriment either.

Absolutely this.

My last job I slogged my guts out, in early, home late, stressing and fretting about it all the time, never switching off, covering for other staff etc. When the pandemic hit and they lost business they didn’t bat an eyelid as they gave me the tap on the shoulder and divvied up all my work. They have done the exact same if I’d dropped dead.

I was taken for a complete mug. Never, ever again. I’ve learned the hard way. My loyalty to an employer extends now to doing what they pay me for and nothing more.

I think that's crap OP. At least you have the conscious to ask if you're doing a crap thing. Good job we're not all aligned to your way of thinking.

Lol-ing at the people rushing to the defense of the poor company, nothing OP doing is wrong (ethically or legally) and who knows what will happen in 12 months.

Old enough in the tooth here to echo what PPs have said - a company does what it needs to do, cutting roles when it needs to, in order to survive. Do the same. Seem enough people 'cut them and they bleed the company' etc, let go as fits the ever changing 'needs of the business'. That' the way things go, be loyal, and have integrity AND be sensible. A company doesn't see a job loss as cutting a person loose, it only ever cuts the job (subtle difference but important) - and that situation can turn on a penny without personal consideration to the person involved. Be smart!

@Girlyracer

I think that's crap OP. At least you have the conscious to ask if you're doing a crap thing. Good job we're not all aligned to your way of thinking.

So what would you do?

Resign now and risk not being in the same position in a year's time?

Just do what's best for you OP. As others have said, at this stage you can't be certain that you won't change your mind and go back. Anything can happen in a year. You would be mad to burn that bridge at this early stage, plus you are entitled to the accrued holiday pay.
Anyone who says different hasn't thought it through. Why should you give up security and pay that you are entitled to, for no particular reason? Employers know that people get pregnant and sometimes don't return to work. They should plan accordingly.
If it's a small business that is going to be badly affected, obviously try and help them out by giving a bit of extra notice.

Don't burn your bridges. I have twice gone on mat leave thinking I'd resign at the end and then returned after all. First time because I knew I wanted another child quickly and my company have a good mat package. Second (and current) time, I'm going back next month because it would be crazy to look for a new job in my industry while Covid uncertainty continues.

Your circumstances are obviously different and if you can work for your DH's business that's great, but don't completely walk away from your current role until you are certain there's an alternative waiting for you.

@Girlyracer

I think that's crap OP. At least you have the conscious to ask if you're doing a crap thing. Good job we're not all aligned to your way of thinking.

What’s crap? Resigning from work?

Word of warning, don’t give an employer any more than they are entitled to. It gets you nothing but stress and being shat on. OP is doing the right thing prioritising herself and her family ahead of a job that would replace her without blinking if she dropped dead.

Keeping the job for now is wise. Things may change, and it keeps your options open. If you're in a company pension scheme you still count as being in their employ during maternity leave. You could perhaps mention that it's possible that you won't return, so that they can be thinking about covering your role in the longer term; whilst they'd be foolish to offer someone a permanent contract until they've got your resignation, they might be able to offer someone "temporary with the possibility of it becoming permanent", making everyone else's lives easier for now, and giving them a chance to try someone out.

If they're only paying SMP then I wouldn't worry about it at all. They claim that money back from the government anyway.

You can never be 100% sure of anything so I'd always suggest you keep your employment going on mat leave until you're absolutely sure you aren't going back once the year is over.

Its totally your decision. But i certainly wouldn't feel guilty.

I second everyone who says you don't know how your circumstances may change in a year, so having the option to go back is useful. I also second everyone who says that your job would make you redundant without feeling any emotion about it, so do what works for you.