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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you spend on your children for Christmas?

427 replies

chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 00:24

I imagine this has been done to death.

I am sick and tired of my mum telling me that I've spent too much on my 2 year old daughter, around £600. However, she's my only one and if she had siblings my budget would still be the same, just between them. I can afford it, so AIBU to spend this kind of money? Or am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:
ChaBishkoot · 14/12/2020 11:08

We can afford to buy more. But the thing is our kids do get toys and books all year round. So for Christmas they get 4-5 nice things and that’s it. I also make sure they ask FC for one thing only. For me as a working mum, Christmas is actually about spending the day on the floor playing with the kids. We are not English so we cook the food we like. This year on request DH and I are making a Mexican meal. It’s not hugely labour intensive and a lot of the prep can be done before. So the aim of the day is not the huge pile of presents but having a 48 hour period when we can switch off and play with the kids. Including with the toys they already have.

theorangesisters · 14/12/2020 11:17

Secondhand is the way to go for toys/clothes - for the sake of the planet (plastic (and polyester), packaging materials, cotton) and saving money. When I was younger, most of my Playmobil/LEGO sets were nearly new and this works especially well with hard wearing brands.

HitthatroadJack · 14/12/2020 11:20

Someone needs to buy things new at some point..

Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 11:23

@HitthatroadJack absolutely! We a trip booked and it was cancelled so that was £50 back to me, would have been more but most things as a 2 year old she doesn't need to be paid for yet. We have our local farm booked for their Christmas experience so I'm hoping that will go ahead 😁

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Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 11:26

@theorangesisters those things were new at some point and if no one bought new EVER then where would all the new bits come from. I can't bring myself to buy second hand for Christmas and most of the stuff I wanted for her was just as pricey on marketplace as brand new. A game I wanted for myself for my switch a while back was £45 second hand or £50 brand new from a retailer 🤷‍♀️

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theorangesisters · 14/12/2020 12:08

Yes, I completely understand that. The main point I was making was that with things like clothes, we already have much more in the world than we need. Our natural resources such as the precious metals for our electronics and the oil reserves for plastic will run out eventually, so will no longer be able to buy new as we see it now.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 14/12/2020 12:08

I’ve spent about £400 on my 4yo plus at least another 200 on Christmas days out.
She wanted a lol dollhouse, that was off Facebook marketplace.
In fairness she doesn’t have loads of relatives buying for her and my parents have given her £300 which has gone straight into her bank account for adulthood.
It’s more than I intended but I start buying in around September, a bit here and there and it soon adds up.

Mylittlepony374 · 14/12/2020 12:11

Off to google pikler triangle.

SendHelp30 · 14/12/2020 12:14

@LM20 ok then, you said to have a nice lifestyle so I assumed you’d earn a decent amount. Not necessarily a poor position but I would assume someone renting is doing so because they couldn’t afford to buy.

To the op- Never known of anyone not want to buy their own home because of maintenance issues and selling when they’re older to pay for a care home? Really?

spacemask · 14/12/2020 12:15

I've not RTFT but thank you for sharing this.

How are we meant to buy toys that are ethical, don't break after the first use, plastic free, from small business/your local toy shop, can be sold on at some sort of value, keeps the economy going in all the 'right' places, are Montessori and aren't all buttons and lights that provide 'instant gratification' so our children don't turn into mindless zombies all for £20. (Of course, I don't personally hold that view)

I'm constantly fed the bullshit (both on here and on social media) that all the above is meant to be achieved for next to no money. It's simply not possible.

I've spent a hell of a lot of money on my nearly 3 year old because I can and if it helps a little to protecting the world my daughter will one day grow up in then it is worth it to me. I have to appreciate that this isn't possible for everyone as it's bloody expensive. But why doesn't this appreciation work the other way too?

Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 12:32

@SendHelp30 I know several! I do intend to buy but I only decided that recently, before I never wanted to buy here as I didn't intend on stickinig around in the UK for eternity, now I have my daughter I've decided to settle here, stay here and invest in my own house, I just know it's not for everyone. Some people just have different plans or ideas in life.

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Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 12:35

@SendHelp30 exactly the same here! It includes Christmas activities and a day out too!

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pipnchops · 14/12/2020 12:41

We have spent around £50 on each of their main presents from us, then another £50 each on smaller things including a little gift each from santa and stocking fillers. So about £100 on each child (they're 4 and 6, so it might get more expensive as they get older) they'll get stuff from other people too, I'm sure they'll be more than happy. Spend what you like and what you can afford, YANBU OP.

theruffles · 14/12/2020 12:46

My DD is 2 and I think I've spent under £100 for her gifts this year. She gets a lot from grandparents/family so I don't feel like she needs much when she already has a lot of toys and everything she needs. I also like to buy some things second hand so that has brought the cost down.

If you have the money to spend on gifts then go for it - your kid, your rules!

AndcalloffChristmas · 14/12/2020 12:52

I’ve overdone it this year and spent about £200 each. That’s not normal for me though - would be £100-£150 in a normal year. Mine are 12 and 6.

When they were 2 it would be much much less, maybe up to £50. What do they really need or want at that age?

kowari · 14/12/2020 12:57

Er, you said yourself you 'don't have a high income', so if your income is not high, then it is low. What about the majority of people in the middle? I'm on just under £20k and I don't consider that a low income for just me and my teen, but I would only consider over £50k to be high (outside London).

kowari · 14/12/2020 13:00

[quote chubbycheeks26]@SendHelp30 I intend to buy somewhere but not everyone wants to own their own home, maintenance issues, being made to sell when you're old and need care. Can see why a lot of people don't want to bother.[/quote]
Or those who could afford a mortgage but can't get one as they are not considered to earn enough despite paying more than the mortgage would be in rent.

Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 13:06

@BarbaraofSeville listen BABS, you sound like a Barbara, my great grandmother is a bit snooty and her name is Barbara. I bet your name is actually Barbara. Just because my income isn't high, doesn't mean it's low. Who are you to set what is high and what is low? When I say 5% it's £15,000 so not a small sum saved in just over year. You are very assumptive. If I decide to buy it will be in a year or so and there for another 5%, making twenty percent. I could spend a couple of extra years saving and have 20%. I could afford to save more but buying a house asap isn't the be all and end all for me. I like to have a nice life as well. I moved in with my mum so we both had company as lone adults with everything going on, it wasn't to save, I can save whilst renting ya ninny. Not that it's any of your business.

OP posts:
Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 13:07

@kowari that's very true too!

£20k isn't high or low you're right, however I wouldn't consider £50k particularly high either, I suppose it's relative your outgoings 😊

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Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 13:09

*therefore
*making 10 percent even

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LM20 · 14/12/2020 13:10

@SendHelp30 I work in the housing industry and I can assure you that a lot of people rent and the affordability has absolutely nothing to do with it. I would suggest your broaden your horizons before casting judgement.

onwheels · 14/12/2020 13:14

£100 each, probably get another £200 worth of presents from other family members. i am a sahm, so only one income.

if you have the money then you should do what you like with it.

Original poster
chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 13:17

@Mylittlepony374 it's a relatively pricey climbing triangle for children. My daughter will absolutely love it!

OP posts:
Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 14/12/2020 13:21

OP I actually thought you would get flamed for this but I'm pleasantly surprised.

If you can afford it then why the he'll not? Some years you may not be in such a good position so enjoy spending money on her.

Be warned though, at some point someone may well come along and tell you that you should have given her a satsuma and a piece of coal and given the money to charity 😂

Etinox · 14/12/2020 13:25

@chubbycheeks26
You posted because your mother is criticising the amount you’ve spent. Again how much are you paying her in housekeeping?