To ask if you know anyone who....

[Miamarshmallows]

Is single by choice and intends to stay that way?
For me personally, I would cope if DP left me or died but my life would nowhere near be as fulfilling or fun without him in it and I would grieve for what we had lost everyday. I wouldn't choose to be single if I could be in a happy, secure and very loving relationship is what I'm saying.

laugh at his jokes, listen to the same stories again and again, validate his tedious hobbies and pretend to find him funny.

Yes! Virginia Woolf said it best:

“Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.” ~ A Room of One's Own, 1929

I have better things to do!

@lomojojo

laugh at his jokes, listen to the same stories again and again, validate his tedious hobbies and pretend to find him funny.

Yes! Virginia Woolf said it best:

“Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.” ~ A Room of One's Own, 1929

I have better things to do!

Love the quote. Absolutely spot on.

I live separately from DDs DF. We are together in all but name. I struggle with feeling suffocated in relationships and having BPD and attachment disorder can be a clingy nightmare. We see him over night once a week and he does a lot for us (car related, DIY etc. It works very well for us and I essentially live day to day as a single person.

I don't think happy relationships are incredibly rare. I just believe Mumsnet gives that impression.
Yes, in our society, It is hard to be single because of the pressure society brings on us. I know when there are times when I have been single, colleagues have always said "Let's find Mia someone." Or "We need to find you a fella." It didn't get to me as much but I can see how it would.
For me, I love the laughter, sharing life and connection I share with my partner. I have seen what a bad relationship is so appreciate this more. Like I say, I could live my life perfectly happy if I had to but DP adds so much to it.
It is sad though that being single is seen as something that needs to be fixed or that the person is unhappy/embarrassed/unfulfilled being like that.

I’m only recently single after an on/off thing that was damaging and toxic in many ways but I intend to stay this way. I have never encountered a happy and fulfilling relationship, only bad ones. I’ve never had one longer than a year. For many reasons I don’t think I’ll ever find an easy, positive and fulfilling partnership. I’m bi, and I’m absolutely done with men, I may consider dating women in the future if I feel like I want someone in my life but for now the thought of trying to meet someone gives me shivers and I’d rather focus on myself for the foreseeable. Due to my experiences I’ve always found myself happier single.

@thepeopleversuswork

I am not technically "single" in that I have a boyfriend but I am absolutely committed to never wanting to live with a man again.

I've been (unhappily) married before and that may have coloured my judgement but I have always been much happier and fulfilled out of long-term relationships than in them. I like to have a bit of romance and intrigue in my life and love male friendships but I find the idea of a committed, cohabitation-based relationship unbearably claustrophobic and restricting.

In my experience women in particular do better in almost all elements of their life when not cohabiting. They are happier, more focused, more devoted to their children, work harder, earn more money.

I love my boyfriend to bits but I'm sure I would hate him if we moved in together.

I'm in the same situation. Being with my BF for 5 years but no intention to live with him, he's the same so all good.

I love being on my own, and I love having date nights with my boyfriend, I feel that I have the best of both worlds, the romance and the alone-time I craved when I was living with my ex-partner.

Some of my friends struggle to understand that though, weirdly.

FastFood

"I love being on my own, and I love having date nights with my boyfriend, I feel that I have the best of both worlds, the romance and the alone-time I craved when I was living with my ex-partner.

Some of my friends struggle to understand that though, weirdly."

Me too. People are so hard-wired to thinking that any good relationship should by default move towards living together.

And then there's the usual crowd of pile-ons on here with people saying "he's not your partner if you don't live together".

So weird that people equate sharing bills, cleaning up after someone and dull, predictable sex with a high quality relationship.

Of course it makes more sense to live together if you share children but otherwise not so much. In my experience cohabitation accelerates contempt and taking one another for granted.

About every third thread I see on MN just reinforces what I already know. Relationships are not for me. I'm far too set in my ways!

Dsis been alone for about 25 years.

Single or alone? There's a big difference. I've been single by choice for about 6 years but I'm not alone.

MIL ended her last relationship 7 years ago when she realised her DP wasn’t enthusiastic about moving in together.

She doesn’t want a partner now as she feels that most men of her generation (she’s 68) would expect to be waited on.