Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tales of family Christmas from hell?

423 replies

HTH1 · 13/12/2020 21:39

Following on from the guests from hell thread, please tell me about your worst family Christmas from hell. Hopefully that will make me happier about it just being a v small Christmas this year (all family away or dead) and would love to hear your experiences Xmas Wink

OP posts:
Oneearringlost · 14/12/2020 17:02

@CandyLeBonBon

This one. My brother committed suicide last week
How horrendous, Candy. Very much in my thoughts. Flowers
HTH1 · 14/12/2020 17:02

@Bodyrock80s

NC for outing.

I hadn’t seen my family in over 3 years after moving away. First time I’m home is for Xmas one year so everyone makes an effort, siblings all come to DPs where I’m staying, I get to spend time with DN & DNs. All going well but one DB#1 having a bit too much fun. He’s never been good at holding his drink but back then he preferred pills and weed, add that to drink and we have a very obnoxious sleezy uncle roaming around, we manage to end everything nicely, pack DB & SIL who I’ve only just met off home In a taxi, it was only a 10-15 journey. There was a really heavy snow, the only car that wasn’t snowed in was my other DBs #2 car, this is relevant. Other relevant thing is my DM can be very nasty and manipulative.

So not long after DB1 gone, we are all getting ready for bed, other DB2 and family were staying at DPs as they lived 2 hours away. Next thing the phones ringing and it’s my SIL, they had gotten home, drunk DB tipping the taxi driver with all of their cash only to discover they didn’t have keys to get in. DB1 had left his keys at DPs so they could drop his car off the next day and SIL had given me her keys the day before after I stayed at their house, she asked me to post them through the door when I left. I did but she forgot to put them back on her key ring.

They get a taxi back to DPs where we pay for it, give the money for return trip and hand house keys over. DB1 is in a foul mood now, throws the keys into the snow, DF tries calming him down but he lets loose on DF he should just hurry up and fucking die, coming out with all this nasty stuff. This is we’re my DM comes in, turns out she had been filling my DBs head full of crap about DF dying for months (she’s a bit messed in the head that way).

So DB1 storms off. We find the keys and SIL goes home. We check she’s ok with this but she says it’s fine she can handle drunk DB.

By the time SIL gets home DB had kicked his front door down, he’s gotten himself angrier and angrier as he goes along. SIL who has a gob like a fog horn and towers over DB is going nuts. DB whose nickname as a child was Mr Angry is now so worked up he smashes the entire house up, literally every little thing is broken including SIL DSs Xmas toys he’s not even been given (4yo), he wasn’t there as he’d spent Xmas day with his dad and was due back Boxing Day.

So we need to get to the house ASAP. DPs & DB1s cars are snowed in, only other DB2s car wasn’t, but he’d had a few drinks. Myself, DM & other SIL all alcohol free, no other reason other than we could sense a storm coming with DB1. Now other DB2 is very precious about his new car, with good reason, I wouldn’t have attempted to drive it, I’d not long been driving and wouldn’t in the snow. DM, not a chance, she couldn’t have handled it, so it fell to SIL. obviously DB2 wasn’t letting his wife go alone and well DM is the only person to calm my DB1 down, even if she’s the one who messed with his head in the first place. If DB2 had just gone he would have just laughed at DB and told him to grow the fuck up which would have resulted in DB1 throwing a punch and DB2 knocking him to the ground. I had no desire to go as I would have said something to make it worse. I also wanted to stay with DF,

So they arrive back, SIL covered in blood, DM shaking, DB2 pissing him self laughing because DB1 has lost the plot, going nuts with a knife. We check SIL, blood was my DBs. My DF had been very quiet during all this especially after what DB has said to him, he dosnt react to things, he likes to observe before he speaks. Anyway he quietly asks if DB1 hit her, she says, like fuck he did but I fucking punched the shit head in the head a few times when he smashed my house and sons toys up. DFs response, very quietly, so let me get this right, you’ve been abusing my son, we all laugh as this lightened the mood.

Meanwhile DMs on the phone to the police. After she’s off her DB2 & SIL2 head back to meet the police. My DM wants him sectioned, she knows the right things to say as she works in mental health but the police are having none of it. Instead they threaten to arrest DB2 for trying to push it. They won’t arrest DB1 for smashing up his own home and he tells them he never had a knife. So they walk away.

The rest of the night is quiet, it was a time before everyone had mobile phones. What no one knew was I’d quietly unplugged the land lines so my DB could phone and cause more trouble. Which he apparently tried to do.

As we are all trying to settle we hear DF call out MERRY CHRISTMAS (my name) I bet your glad your home, we all burst out laughing.

Needless to say we never had a family Christmas again. The closest we got was 15 years later, we had planned on all being together after DF was diagnosed with a TI, we thought it was going to be his last. He died just before it. I think he did it on purpose because he didn’t want a repeat of the last family Xmas 😂 If he was alive he’d think it was funny and make a joke about it too x

Wow, that is one Christmas from hell!
OP posts:
hashbrownsandwich · 14/12/2020 17:03

@PrincessNutNutRoast I was honestly giggling so much at your story at 3am this morning, much the annoyance of my sleeping husband. I would love to think in years to come if me and DH fell out the kids would just roll their eyes and get drunk Grin

namechangedtoaskaQ · 14/12/2020 17:08

[quote BlueCheckedTeatowel]@namechangedtoaskaQ are you still married to him and part of their family?[/quote]
@BlueCheckedTeatowel Yes, very happily married. I must say the second incident my dh very much defended me. We don't have much of a relationship with the family, and I've definitely matured more, so answer back and have a guard up. They don't get a chance now!

Mydogmylife · 14/12/2020 17:10

@Chanjer

Our dad died on Christmas Day
Mine too, it's shit isn't it? I miss him terribly and he would be so cross with me for letting it affect everyone's celebrations , so I just grit my teeth and try to get through it
NC2012 · 14/12/2020 17:18

Namechanged as I've told this to a few people.

'D'M (who has form) got progressively sulkier as the day wore on (there had been a two day lead-up to this). You could have cut the tension with a knife. It was horrible. I walked into the kitchen just before 12 to her saying "I don't feel well. I'm going to bed." She flounced off, leaving the dinner half cooked. I finished it with help from DBro and DP whilst we got v drunk. Ate Christmas dinner in near-silence as the dining table is right next to DParents bedroom and any sounds of jollity would have wound her up further. Throughout my half-deaf DDad was completely oblivious but also silent as he couldn't really hear us. She eventually condescended to come downstairs after tea when we'd gone in repeatedly and made a huge fuss of her, how ill she was etc. My present from them was some plants, so I ended up clambering over stuff in the greenhouse with a torch at 9pm with poor DP who was very WTF about it all (her parents are v chilled).

Then there was the Christmas with my ex, exMIL (who provided many a horror story and MIL thread in her time), my parents and DBro. Included exMIL being absolutely scathing - with facial expressions - in her native language (which only I and ex could understand) about all our presents, being rude about the food, my DM pulling faces behind exMIL's back, the oven breaking and ex getting horrifically drunk by himself and staying up until 2am because of how awful the day (and his mother) was. We split up on NY Day after they'd all gone home Hmm

HeronLanyon · 14/12/2020 17:20

My mum smoked cannabis for the first time in her life (in her 70s) one Christmas Day. A sibling was ‘responsible’ saying it would be harmless and fun. It didn’t suit her. She and sibling had awful argument dredging up stuff from childhood. Sibling flounced out.
I went to bed bit drunk.
We all got over it and laughed about it later but think sibling and ma had festering issues for a bit ! Not a good family performance.

Carpathian2 · 14/12/2020 17:24

My exh announced on Christmas Day that he was leaving me for someone else. We had 3 dc under 5 and it destroyed me.
I was wandering around the city centre on Boxing Day whilst he cleared out his stuff. I had to explain to the ds that he had gone.
Worst Christmas ever.

PearlescentIridescent · 14/12/2020 17:41

I'm so sorry to hear of all these very sad times. It really puts life into persepctive.

I'm very lucky that I only have positive memories of Christmas.

I don't want to say this will be my worst Christmas, but my dear dad died last week and we are all really floored by it.

I am despite the grief determined to support my mum and siblings. I usually spend Christmases at home with my partner and children now I'm a mother, but am having a complete overhaul and will be cooking for my mum and sister's family and making sure my mum has a lovely say surrounded by happiness.

It will be hard and at first I was absolutely dreading it, but I will do anything for my children and will make sure they and my mum have a wonderful day.

I am still caught by surprise every single time I think about him not being there this Christmas. What a dramatic year this has been.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 14/12/2020 17:53

Jesus, nothing like some of these. My heart goes out to you.
Apart from the year I found duplicate receipts for identical presents for me and ow, one from my teen years. My df was lovely and lots of people from where we lived in England saw him as a bit of a mentor. We were having a party that night and a son of one of these people came round for a chat. He was the same age as me, about 17, but very troubled. Me and my mate were shooed out and there was a long heartfelt talk going on. He finally went home. We started party, then at about 11.00 the police showed up looking for him. A few hours later we heard he had committed suicide. My poor dad was distraught.

bumblingbovine49 · 14/12/2020 18:12

DS was admitted to hospital 4 days before Christmas with meningitis. Luckily it turned out to be viral not bacterial and we got home late on Christmas eve but DS was very ill still so we spent several days worried he might deteriorate again. In the end it was fine but not the best Christmas!!!..

Cakequeen1988 · 14/12/2020 18:14

Last Christmas was my worst when my partner at the time got very angry by late afternoon and became furious and grabbed me round the throat and pinned me down on several occasions until I kicked him out the house. I then had to face Xmas day on Boxing Day with my kids feeling dreadful but plastering on a smile.

crosstalk · 14/12/2020 18:16

this isn't funny enough to please the DM - too much sorrow.

madcatladyforever · 14/12/2020 18:22

I will never know why people drive hundreds of miles to be with toxic relatives every year especially with tiny babies and then have an awful time.
I long ago decided to stay at home and say fuck it to them all.

BlueCheckedTeatowel · 14/12/2020 18:33

@sanityisamyth When I was 12, my mother and my sisters had been invited to my aunts for Christmas.

how come you werent invited too? thats really sad

sanityisamyth · 14/12/2020 18:36

[quote BlueCheckedTeatowel]**@sanityisamyth* When I was 12, my mother and my sisters had been invited to my aunts for Christmas.*

how come you werent invited too? thats really sad[/quote]
I was invited but I refused to go with my sister as she'd spent 4 years trying to kill me. She had come up from my dad's house especially to go to my aunt's for lunch so her not going wasn't an option.

Nonononon · 14/12/2020 18:39

The christmas day a couple of days after dd was born. Exp slept on the sofa all day, stoned and I believe high on valium. Whilst I looked after dd, made the dinner etc and he didnt lift a finger or speak to me for most of the day. I should have just said "fuck it" and stayed in bed eating chocolates but I really wanted a nice Christmas with my new family after never really getting to experience a decent one before, he knew it was important to me too. Episiotomy stitches burst because I was doing too much (my fault I know) I felt so let down.
I dumped him a couple of months later.
Me and dd (almost 6) have lovely Christmases now Smile

Bambam2019 · 14/12/2020 18:40

@SheldonesqueIsUnwell

Went to his parents house for about the 10th year in a row.

I was pretty skint so we agreed no big presents between us. Everyone opens the presents together so I asked him to let his folks know what we’d decided.

I bought him a cd he wanted and something else quite little.

He bought me a very expensive electrical item and a very expensive piece of jewellery. Probably about a grand all in. I was too shocked to be grateful and I think I looked upset. I know I felt it as I knew what was coming.

I will never forget the look of horror on everyone’s faces when he opened his little gift. No one really spoke to me for the rest of the day and people went quiet when I walked in the room.

This was about 20 years ago. Between that and another awful Christmas experience with my then best friend, I hate Christmas and birthdays.

I’m anxious about being a disappointment. I am alone but I cook for everyone. And there is always something that isn’t right.

I would quite cheerfully curl up, sleep and miss it all.

“I am anxious about being a disappointment” I am exactly the same, it ruins Christmas for me. I worry that my gifts aren’t going to be good enough and that people will be disappointed. I feel such a Scrooge but I too would cheerfully miss it all. Christmas is great for children when they still believe in the magic, stressful once you get to the age of buying presents for people!
Itstheprinciple · 14/12/2020 18:50

Gosh. There was the Christmas when I was about 11 when I got home from school a few days before Christmas to find my mum's horrible partner had took the hump over something or other and moved his stuff out of the house. I had to ring the restaurant where my mum was on her work Christmas meal to tell her and get her to come home as I didn't really know what to do. It was actually a nicer Christmas than normal as he usually just moaned about me getting up to early (he never got up with us) and how many presents I'd got (not spoiled but just the only grandchild on both sides so people were very generous, I never expected anything). But even though I wasn't bothered that he wasn't there I know my mum was upset and was putting a brave face on.

Then a few years ago my paternal grandad passed away on boxing day. I spent boxing day sitting with him as he ebbed away so my dad could go home and have a shower and a breather. My grandad passed away that evening after I had left.

The following year, my maternal grandad died around 10pm on Christmas Eve. He was terminally ill but certainly not expected to pass away quite so imminently so took us all by surprise. My mum came to us for Christmas Dinner as planned and we didn't say anything as DD was only around 8 so we didn't want to spoil it for her.

A few years ago, I got a dreadful stomach bug a few days before Christmas. Luckily no one else got it and I was out if the 48 hours by Christmas day so I cooked as planned but by about 4pm I was so tired, I just wanted to cry and everyone to go home.

Having said all that, I love Christmas!

PrincessNutNutRoast · 14/12/2020 18:58

@crosstalk

this isn't funny enough to please the DM - too much sorrow.
No, not enough misogyny.

Hey, Geordie. I went to a Christmas dinner once where the mothers in law had a saucepan fight over who made the best stuffing and the daughters had a fight over who was thinnest and sexiest and started dancing naked on the tables, then the working mothers hit the SAHMs over the head with their Apple Macs and the SAHMs hit them back with their Le Creusets. And the little girls all wore pretty frilly dresses, causing hordes of angry, ugly, bitter feminists to break down the door and jump all over the turkey.

Come on, Geordie, you know you want it....

Dizzy1234 · 14/12/2020 18:59

@Jenasaurus
Absolutely hilarious 😂

dexterslockedintheshedagain · 14/12/2020 19:02

My ex FIL decided it would be a good idea to part cook the turkey on Christmas Eve, let it cool, then carry on cooking it on Christmas Day.
When ExDH and I walked in their house on Christmas Day, there was an all pervading smell of dog shit - it was the turkey, which had gone off.
Next door neighbour managed to find a nut roast in her freezer to give us and we all had that with veg.

ColaandBru · 14/12/2020 19:25

My amazing friend was told she had an aggressive terminal cancer on Christmas Eve. She left hospital for Christmas Day day to spend time with her family. She was so sad and in shock. I was trying to support her but we were abroad. With the big time difference I was messaging through the nights and was not there for her as much as I would have liked. This will be the 7th Christmas without her.

Juanbablo · 14/12/2020 19:54

One year I had awful tonsillitis but never went to the dr as they always fobbed me off. We stayed at the in laws and I was in such terrible pain I couldn't enjoy anything and seem like such a misery. I think the kids were 2 and 4 or something so needed lots of looking after.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 14/12/2020 20:27

I read this thinking it would be funny but it mostly is definitely not.

All l can say is, no good comes from spending time with people you don't like.

People bang on about Christmas being about family and l say it bloody well isn't. It's about having a jolly time a s if that means by yourself, fill your boots.

Flowers for those dreading this year.