Chocolate/sweets for a baby??

[mom2babygirl]

AIBU to try to prevent my baby (9months old) to try or have chocolate or any kind of sweets or any artificial juice?? DH is always asking if our baby can have a little bit of chocolate or a bit of biscuits etc.
Other members of family keep saying that they will buy/bring lots of chocolate for Xmas or Easter for her to eat! I know they say it as a joke but to say it all the time is getting on my nerves. I want to prevent my baby from having any ripe of sweets for as long as I can! So surely they have to respect my decision of not getting her any sweets of Easter egg?
Thank you!

Not sure what you want from this post

Just tell them no! Your baby, your decision

Easter is months away anyway

Your child, your decision but it's also your husband's child, presumably, so the same goes. I think you need to discuss it and come to an agreement together, otherwise he'll realise he doesn't need your permission to interact with his child and give it

Of course YANBU. If you do want to compromise though, there are plenty of baby biscuits available that are only sweetened with fruit juice, etc

The only children I know who have been prevented from growing up being allowed sweets or chocolate have all over indulged and gone mad when they have been able to access it at parties or able to buy it themselves. Small bits in moderation is much more likely to create a child with a take or leave it attitude.

Also whilst its fine for you to have expectations of how you want her raised do remember this is just as much your husband's child. He should have equal say in decisions. He certainly shouldn't be asking you for permission, you are both her parents, you both should get to make decisions for her.

My kids didn't have refined sugar until I went back to work when they were 13 months, I made everything fresh for them.

They didn't have chocolate until just after their 2nd birthday.

No ulterior motive but I figured why give it to them.... They didn't k ow what they were missing.

They have just turned 4 and enjoy some chocolate and sweets, not every day but often. They eat nuggets and fish fingers and plenty of home cooked meals.

The decision for a 9 month old to keep them away from sugar is sensible, but as they get older it's not unreasonable to relax them as you do want to avoid the rebellious binging later in life!

Accept all the sweets/chocolate they want to give then eat it yourself.

@LittleMissLockdown

The only children I know who have been prevented from growing up being allowed sweets or chocolate have all over indulged and gone mad when they have been able to access it at parties or able to buy it themselves. Small bits in moderation is much more likely to create a child with a take or leave it attitude.

Also whilst its fine for you to have expectations of how you want her raised do remember this is just as much your husband's child. He should have equal say in decisions. He certainly shouldn't be asking you for permission, you are both her parents, you both should get to make decisions for her.

This //\

I dunno, we have an 8 month old and I’m getting more relaxed about this. The whole “they won’t know what they’re missing” argument - well sure, but also it won’t be every day that you give them a tray with a chocolate biscuit and a banana and then they’ll learn to eat the biscuit and leave the banana. You’ll occasionally give them a small amount of something then normal service will resume (of home cooked organic nourishment no doubt )

Remember that baby rusks have as much sugar as a biscuit anyway so it’s not like babies will lose an arm or somethjng if they have a bit

But this is mumsnet land, so children won’t have chocolate until they’re 2 and even when it’s offered, they’ll turn from their Latin homework or take a break from running their FTSE500 company and politely decline it and declare they much prefer fruit and vegetables.

The only children I know who have been prevented from growing up being allowed sweets or chocolate have all over indulged and gone mad when they have been able to access it at parties or able to buy it themselves. Small bits in moderation is much more likely to create a child with a take or leave it attitude

I agree with this and is what I have done with my daughter (now 10) and it's worked. However I don't think that logic applies at 9 months. The first sweet thing she had was some of her 1st birthday cake and it was quite limited after that until she was about 2, then I went for the little amounts semi regularly approach.

I think at 9 months it’s unnecessary. My daughter didnt have any proper sweets or chocolate or cake until her first birthday cake (though she did sometimes have baby biscuits, who knows if they’re any better!!) However now at 20 months she knows exactly what chocolate and cake are and would 100% choose them over healthy stuff if I let her!! So, if we are out and I have cake I’ll let her have a bit, otherwise I save sweet stuff for when she’s in bed. No way can I get away with eating it front of her and not sharing now. I don’t think a little bit a couple of times a week is the end of the world. But I agree with you at 9 months, introducing it for the sake of it seems unnecessary.

I would say no to juice but those baby biscuits we gave (they’re not particularly sweet), a taste of choc is fine imo- I wouldn’t chuck a baby a mars bar but it’s about Taste and textures exploration imo

Is this your first baby op?
I was exactly like this with my older dc, I remember giving the poor nursery a long list of foods not to give her
When the youngest dc arrived that all went down the pan and she enjoyed all the treats her older siblings got.

My dentist said - about my eldest who doesn’t have a massively sweet tooth - “don’t create dentist’s children: you know, the ones who go crazy at a party because mum’s not there and there’s All The Sugar”. But I’m also with you in that it’s not a necessary part of their diet, and I was shocked at the chocolates sent for my under 1s.

Everything in moderation, at a time which seeks right, and (add in more of my dentist’s wisdom) wash it down with plenty of water and chocolate rather than sticky sweets...

My son has always had home made puddings with some sugar in. Pancakes, ride pudding, semolina, homemade custard, fruit crumble etc.

He also loves fruit and if given a choice will ask for an apple or pear or plum as often he will ask for something like ice cream.

Forbidding things makes it exciting.

Oh and my best tip for kids and sugar is to make a little of it routine and you find they won't request or expect it any other time. My son knows he can have a sweet on Saturday morning when he goes on a long walk with DH, and never posters for sweets any other time.

@44PumpLane

My kids didn't have refined sugar until I went back to work when they were 13 months, I made everything fresh for them.

They didn't have chocolate until just after their 2nd birthday.

No ulterior motive but I figured why give it to them.... They didn't k ow what they were missing.

They have just turned 4 and enjoy some chocolate and sweets, not every day but often. They eat nuggets and fish fingers and plenty of home cooked meals.

The decision for a 9 month old to keep them away from sugar is sensible, but as they get older it's not unreasonable to relax them as you do want to avoid the rebellious binging later in life!

Mine had chocolate buttons had part of weaning, but now at 11 and 9 they are the same as your 4 year olds.

OP, it is up to you if you want to not allow it, but if your husband wants to allow it then I personally don’t think it should be banned. He has as much right as you do to make decisions about your baby as you do.

(I didn’t give juice of any sort btw, it was water only, but buttons and a little bit of an Easter egg I did.

The only children I know who have been prevented from growing up being allowed sweets or chocolate have all over indulged and gone mad when they have been able to access it at parties or able to buy it themselves. Small bits in moderation is much more likely to create a child with a take or leave it attitude.

I see this argument all the time and it extends to alcohol and teenagers.
It’s not my experience and I would say the same about family and friends.

As far as everyone else is concerned YANBU but your husband has as much right to make decisions about your child as you do.

We do everything in moderation at nearly 2. He didn't have chocolate til 15 months, we only give water or milk to drink and we never use the word treat or say you can have x if you eat your dinner.

Mostly my son gets low sugar stuff his ice cream is frozen yogurt, he gets a milk biscuit a couple of times a week and he always has fruit. He doesn't have a chocolate Advent either.

I think it's about finding the middle ground.

Everything in moderation, better to introduce slowly than make it off limits so when they finally get some they go overboard.

but you and you DP need to agree as you are both the parents, your wishes don't over rule his.

Of course children that don’t get given chocolate and sweets under 2 don’t go wild at parties when older. Parents that give their children chocolate and sweets love to say this.

They will get access to so much sugar once they’re 4 or 5 that I would - and did - stop mine from having any under 1 and extremely little under 2. No advent calendars, no Easter eggs etc, they don’t know they exist, they are fine without.

Some parents give their kids horrific amounts of ‘treats’ - I saw a 7 year old eating a family size Dairy Milk outside the school the other day. They think they’re being kind but they’re being the exact opposite and setting them up for a shit time of health problems ahead.

YANBU. They don't need it and at that age they are happy to full up on foods with nutritional value. But just laugh it off unless they're actually force feeding your baby sugar. My pfb didn't have any/much sugar till 2 and was very restricted till 3. It wasn't particularly difficult until she started going to parties and being more aware of Easter eggs, Halloween etc. Now we have it in moderation and it's fine.

Dd2 had sugar as one of her first foods

Fwiw it took longer to get dd2 out of her fussy toddler food stage but now at 5, she's more adventurous than dd1 and neither are fussy.

As with everything, the bigger deal you make of it, the bigger an issue it will become. Graciously accept the chocolate gifts for your child and eat them all yourselves.

As for DH, your DC is his child too and he does not have to ask your permission on what to feed his own child. An occasional taste of something will not undo everything.

I'll always remember a little girl at DS's 7th birthday party who was stricken because she wasn't allowed sweets, biscuits or cake, or having her photo taken, as she had been told that sugar was poisonous and would make her even more ugly (poor little thing was not ugly at all) and she would break a camera. Don't be that parent. But if you don't want your baby to have sweet stuff until a bit later, that's up to you - not the same thing at all. Although you and your DH need to be on the same page.

A couple of chocolate buttons won't hurt 🤷‍♀️ I'd say no to the juice though

I'd accept all offerings of sweets and chocolate gratefully and then wave the relatives off and crack them open myself!