Chocolate/sweets for a baby??

[mom2babygirl]

AIBU to try to prevent my baby (9months old) to try or have chocolate or any kind of sweets or any artificial juice?? DH is always asking if our baby can have a little bit of chocolate or a bit of biscuits etc.
Other members of family keep saying that they will buy/bring lots of chocolate for Xmas or Easter for her to eat! I know they say it as a joke but to say it all the time is getting on my nerves. I want to prevent my baby from having any ripe of sweets for as long as I can! So surely they have to respect my decision of not getting her any sweets of Easter egg?
Thank you!

Absolutely not! It’s completely normal and healthy for a parent to want to ‘protect’ their baby as much as possible. At this young age there is no need for junk food. Obviously as time goes on it’s unrealistic to expect your child to not have treats. That will come with age. But certainly at 9 months it’s completely unnecessary (the child is oblivious anyway) and goes against a good parent’s instinct. Your DH should be more considerate.

The only children I know who have been prevented from growing up being allowed sweets or chocolate have all over indulged and gone mad when they have been able to access it at parties or able to buy it themselves. Small bits in moderation is much more likely to create a child with a take or leave it attitude

I agree with this and is what I have done with my daughter (now 10) and it's worked. However I don't think that logic applies at 9 months. The first sweet thing she had was some of her 1st birthday cake and it was quite limited after that until she was about 2, then I went for the little amounts semi regularly approach.

Totally agree

My 2 year old has never eaten choc, cake etc.

My 4 year old has some choc buttons once a week.

I agree your baby is young and doesn’t need these in their diet but you seem to be making a big thing of it which your family have caught on to which is why they are winding you up about it.

Also you husband is on a different page to you, you both need to sit down and discuss this.

Also the more you deprive a child of something as they get older the more they will crave it. I never denied my child any food groups including sweets/chocolate, they don’t crave sweets/chocolate at all now older and 9 times out of 10 will turn them down if offered.

I've got three children aged 5, 3 and 1.

The five year old wasn't allowed sweets or juice or anything like that ever until he was about two. The middle one, I was so knackered (high needs baby) I just kind of gave him whatever he wanted, which was sometimes sweets and things (not before he was one though). Now he's not interested in sweets and chocolate at all and is happy to hand them out to other people when he has some. Whilst my older boy is terrible at parties and things because he goes mad for anything sweet and I have to stop him. So I don't think restrictions really helped.

My one year old gets the odd treat and probably has a biscuit most days. I'm more relaxed now and am not going to make it an issue.

However. If you don't want your child to have an Easter egg just smile and say thanks when they are given one and eat it yourself later or give it to the food bank! No need for ingratitude or a drama, just don't give it to them.

@todayIdrankmilk

Is this your first baby op? I was exactly like this with my older dc, I remember giving the poor nursery a long list of foods not to give her When the youngest dc arrived that all went down the pan and she enjoyed all the treats her older siblings got.

Yes it my first baby 😌

surely they have to respect my decision

They do. And when your husband has children of his own, he can make that decision right along with their mother.

It never occurred to me to give that young a child that kind of food. At 10 she is allowed everything now (and me and her father definitely eat snacks) but genuinely chooses veggies, marmite rice cakes, fruit etched and only occasionally crisps or biscuits. It was a bit embarrassing when she was tiny as eg 5 ignoring haribo I didn’t want people to think we were “those parents”but I think they just find their way with these things.

Like others, the biggest thing that jumped out at me is the thought of the poor man having to actually ask permission from his wife about the allowed boundaries of how to interact with his own child...

Like others, the biggest thing that jumped out at me is the thought of the poor man having to actually ask permission from his wife about the allowed boundaries of how to interact with his own child...

He’s obviously aware that is shouldn’t be done then really or he wouldn’t ask. I guess

My baby will be coming up to 9 months and I will not be letting him have any chocolate to try. He doesn't know it exists so why push it on him? I did the same with dc1 and introduced a little chocolate now and again about 2 years old. Dc1 has treats now and again in moderation.
People saying not giving a 9 month old baby chocolate now will end up over indulging later are ridiculous. More like children who have a free reign on sweets and chocolate from a small age end up overweight with a whole range of health problems.
I think your being sensible and healthy

A bit of a milky bar wont harm your child nor will she remember it nor will she crave it for weeks on end. It's just a bit of food.

I think first borns are more precious but in reality does it really really matter?

Is it worth the battle? Let OH give her a choc button or two. She will get a bit messy quick bath - sorted. No worries!

@Danni91

I want better than it not doing any harm though.

Don't worry, you'll be far more relaxed about it next time round.

My youngest is 2 and hasn’t had choc, it’s not about being not relaxed

Can you direct them to more suitable snacks? Say something like "thanks, that's really kind, but if you want to get her treats, rather than get chocolate, could you get some organic baby fruit pouches instead?"

You have to wonder why anyone would give sweets to a 9 month old. The baby doesn't care, they will be over the moon with bananas, raisins, grapes and strawberries. Maybe your husband doesn't realise how unhealthy sugar is. I mean I know lots of children are fine even though they eat sweets at 9 months, but so are lots of children whose parents smoke around them.

I would just ban sweets and chocolate until 2. Allow small amounts of sweet foods such as a tiny bit of biscuit or cake a couple of times a week maybe, increasing as they get older. But a baby is not missing out if they never have sugar. The NHS advises no sugar at all before 4!

thanks, that's really kind, but if you want to get her treats, rather than get chocolate, could you get some organic baby fruit pouches instead?"

Or just some actual fruit (will sound a bit less precious and be much healthier)

DS is 9 months and I intended the first choc/sweets he would have would be some of his first birthday cake in a few months time. We had clearly told nursery he wasn't allowed pudding - but the other day they had Christmas lunch and gave him Yule log with it. I was a bit irritated. I might still be a bit irritated. I know it won't do him any harm but I was weirdly looking forward to his birthday cake being his first bit of choc cake and I really wanted to see his reaction.

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@Danni91

I want better than it not doing any harm though.[/quote]
I wish you luck with that. And when they finally get sugar thats ok too, there will be another battle to fight - there always is with kids.

It's ok you dont want to give your kid sugar. I'm just not as fazed about little bits of sugar as you might be.

It's not personal, I also dont agree with withholding meat or fish from young babies. (Allergies aside!)

I personally don't see what the harm is.

@VodselForDinner

surely they have to respect my decision

They do. And when your husband has children of his own, he can make that decision right along with their mother.

But but but the sanctity of motherhood!

@JamesMoriarty

Accept all the sweets/chocolate they want to give then eat it yourself.

🤣🤣

Accept gifts with thanks, put them away and eat yourself. Sorted 😉

I'm laughing at all the "if you don't give your baby chocolate they'll grow up mugging little old ladies for Snickers out of desperation!!!!" type comments. Wow some people are really desperate to attack other women's parenting, aren't they?

I never tasted processed sugar until I was maybe two or three, and as a consequence never developed a taste for it. As an adult I still not bothered about sweet things and rarely eat sugary snacks or puddings. (And no I am not bragging or 'virtue signalling', I eat loads, but my indulgences are curries, chips, pizza and crisps, nothing sweet).

All the ninnying posts claiming not giving children sugar will turn them into crazed sugar addicts come from jealousy and people being insecure and wanting to put down other mothers. Probably they feel judged because they fed their own babies cola and chocolate.

There's a huge, huge difference between turning something into a desired but forbidden "treat" (like forcing kids to take carrot sticks to birthday parties) and simply avoiding it. My mother never denied me chocolate or anything else, she had a policy of never saying no if I actively asked for something, she simply ensured that I was not exposed to sugary foods so that I didn't know they existed and thus never wanted or asked for them. If babies/toddlers are never given chocolate then they won't even know chocolate exists. There's no reason a tiny little baby needs to know that chocolate even exists since a baby only has access to what their caregivers give them.

Obviously when children get older and start attending school and going to birthday parties it's impractical and wrong to control their diet to that degree (once I started kindergarten my mother gave up on trying to keep me away from sugar since it would have meant not letting me join in and do things all the other kids were doing) but by that time my tastes had been pretty much formed so it didn't matter. What's appropriate for a baby is different from what's appropriate for a toddler is different from what's appropriate for a 5-year-old. A little baby doesn't need chocolate and isn't old enough to want chocolate or ask for chocolate.