Forgotten on my birthday.

[EveningOverRooftops]

I have NC will become apparent. Try to keep this to the point.

It was my birthday. I have not had a single family member wish me a happy birthday. No cards at all. It’s not a milestone birthday but I am a single mother in my 30s and DC not able to go to the shops to buy a card etc so needs help and has additional needs. No one has offered. DC came home from school furious no one had tried.

I have multiple siblings 5+ All adults plus living older relatives and a mother too.

My best friend has of course sent along well wishes and we will do something in the future because of where we live (tier 2 & 3 different towns) and the risk of train journeys atm, their birthday was mid lockdown.

AIBU to expect family to send something, anything at all? A text, a phone call, I didn’t even get a generic FB comment . They live very local 2-3 miles at most. All drive so the possibility of dropping round isn’t beyond their means. They celebrate each other’s birthdays and they shared Pictures of get togethers during lockdown of them celebrating (breaking rules I know but I wasn’t invited to them)

I wish I could say I was surprised by this and maybe I had hoped things had changed recently after voicing just how I felt about family dynamics and my feelings of being treated - abusive step father, neglectful mother still trying to get back with abusive step father after 20 yrs and mother still resents me and blames me for that failed marriage. He cheated I discovered it. It’s a complicated story. It feels like they’ve just decided ‘fuck that’ and now don’t want to know and it would probably best if I wasn’t around you know.

None of my family really contacted me through the lockdown etc either hence me not really expecting it but god it hurts to have such a huge family and to not be thought of. I tried contacting them but messages weren’t replied to so this isn’t me expecting everything from nothing iyswim.

I’ve had more check ins from virtual strangers and online friends I’ve never met to see how I’m doing inc DCs school than my own mother!

AIBU? Yes grow a pair ffs.
No your family sound like utter arseholes go eat a ton of cake.

Happy birthday!!!! And I think its rude and hurtful x

YANBU

Happy birthday 🥳

Sorry that your “family” are such arseholes

I’m the same. Mine was a week ago. I have up on birthdays years ago. I don’t have friends. So I don’t get any cards from people other than my husband. My son forgot it was my birthday.

I think people think a happy birthday on Facebook will do now.

I tend to keep myself to myself nowadays. So I only have myself to blame. To many time I have been ignored or been left behind by people. It’s easier on my own.

But. Happy birthday. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Yanbu. Happy birthday.

Happy Birthday!

When you want to return to the long view, is it worth officially telling yourself you have gone No Contact with your family?

Have you seen the "but we took you to stately homes!" threads? Lots of people from abusive families of origin supporting each other to understand and stay healthy.

Eat lots of cake 🍰🎂🍰
Happy birthday 🥳

Happy Birthday 🥳 x

Happy birthday!!🍹🍷🍾🥂🎂🍬

Happy Birthday OP!
Fellow single parent here. Kids are with their dad tonight so I will raise a glass in toast to your birthday tonight I know that doesn’t make things any less shit for you - just wanted you to know that you won’t be celebrating your birthday alone
Have some birthday too

Yanbu. Happy Birthday @EveningOverRooftops 🎉

Happy birthday 🎉🎉

Happy birthday poppet. I know kind of how this feels. I am dedicating a glass of wine to you.

Thanks everyone. I’ve had people tell me in RL like I’m being ‘needy’ over this.

Truth Is I haven’t ever had a really good birthday. Even with exes and I think I’d just normalised this but this year no one made an effort and it can’t be explained away by covid (I’m tier 2 to outdoor meets are allowed)

Just spent a good while blocking all of them. You’re right NC is probably the only healthy solution to this right now.

I’ve done so bloody well this year despite it all and I hit my 20lbs weight loss goal (the first 1) earlier this week and I realised I couldn’t post it on my Fb because the last time I did it caused havoc amongst my siblings, one specifically.

This birthday has just cemented what I probably already knew.

I’ve come to realise my gran only sent me cards and called whilst my grandad was alive too and it’s sinking in she clearly resented doing that and stopped. In fact she refused to talk to me the day after I had a major operation (organ removal and a benign tumour but didn’t know until after) because I hadn’t called her first.

I have a truly fucked up family and I needed to do this. Again permanently.

Thank you 💕

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
block them all and dont look back!

I don't usually get any birthday cards now, I am 78, and I used to get a few until a few years ago, but I Imagine people think they have sent me enough over the years, and wonder why I am still around !

I'm so sorry they didn't make the effort OP. Big happy birthday, I'm sure next year's will be better.

It sounds like this goes far beyond birthdays. And actually there's a lot of friction in the family. It sounds like your relationship with your siblings isn't in a good place at the moment.

If you wish to improve it then I would refrain from mentioning your bday. Instead maybe ask one around for a walk one day. Then another at another occasion. Try to have fun together.

I'm sorry you had shit parents :(

Happy birthday from me.

Fuck 'em OP! Belated Birthday Wishes!

Happy Birthday! I'm sorry your family are a bunch of arseholes. Never ever send any of them a birthday card or good wish ever again.

Oh OP - that is so shit of them, they sound horrible. You on the other hand sound lovely and I wish you a very happy birthday! If I was you I would spend the evening spoiling yourself with a bubble bath, favourite movie, glass of wine and some delicious foodie treats.

Happy Birthday OP 🥂🎂

Yanbu, I have a mid August birthday so know what its like to be ignored on your birthday

YANBU

That is crap and hurtful.

I'd focus on your dc and friends. Happy birthday!!

OP I usually have horrible birthdays too (every crappy life event seems to happen on/around my birthday), so birthdays mostly just make me cry. If it helps, try thinking that your family are clearly arseholes every day of the year...it just feels worse because it’s your birthday today.
Then have yourself a nice big drink & remember that there are a lot of us here now thinking of you & wanting the best for you on your day

Happy Birthday OP!
Sorry you've got such a shite family, you're much better off without them, it's their loss!
Hope you and your friend can catch up soon.
You and your LO should have a lovely evening with plenty of treats and wake up tomorrow with a fresh start with less baggage.
Hopefully next year's will be better and you can spend it with those you love and who love you.

Yes, it hurts when family dont care, even though you know they don’t when things like this roll around it just hurts.

Plus side, eat cake and next year do something for yourself for your birthday, massage, cheap travel lodge by the coast, huge Chinese takeaway, anything you want!