To think decent present giving to adults is an impossible task?

[DuggeeBear]

I keep looking and looking and looking and time is running out. I sound like a right misery I know but I can't find anything to get my partner for Christmas from either myself or our son. I can do the usual socks, beer, chocolates but everything else seems like fancy tat or something he will never like let alone use. I am struggling. But I was also looking for myself. There is nothing I want. I look at it all and think who would want a personalised leather headphone holder? Good lord I sound a right grump and I'm not but I'm struggling this year. I don't know what to do! I did a tree last year and our garden is brimming with plants so don't want to go down that route again and that's his main hobby.

I have bought my DH some boxing gloves as he wants to get a punch bag - would have got him that too but no idea which one he wants! And a wine making kit. That is his lot!

If he likes gardening, which I do too, can I suggest the following:
Really good replacement for old tools trowel, spade etc
New secateurs
New gardening gloves. A good pair can make all the difference to scratches etc
New plant pots - there are some lovely light weight ones. www.landscaping.co.uk/planters/fibreglass-planters/ This company does some bespoke ones.
Bulbs from Sarah Raven
Membership for the RHS
Subscription to Gardeners World Magazine
Failing that a National Garden Centre Voucher - you may think you have lots of plants but he will always want to buy annuals.

I've gone for consumables this year - most people have so much stuff and don't really want any more! Food hampers for relatives, and a year's rum club subscription for my husband.

My DH is getting some fucking expensive posh fudge, nice pyjamas and some aftershave.

I can heartily recommend just not doing Christmas presents for adults. We started doing it in my family when my dad was terminally ill and the whole thing just felt ridiculous. (What are you supposed to get someone who's dying?!).

It is so, so much nicer. We nominate a charity each so get a feel-good glow and no hours of agonising over what people want or finding a home for piles of stuff we didn't want or need. We do buy lots of nice food to enjoy and make birthdays special when they come round.

It's different when you're young and starting out or if you haven't got much and presents are a real treat (but then there's the pressure to spend what you don't have on others). But I think a lot of people just don't need or necessarily want anything.

DH and I tell each other what to get; we decided a long time ago that we didn’t want to waste money on gifts the other person didn’t want.

Stay far away from gift guides, they are only filled with tat. I often get similar things year to year, because why break a winning formula? My dad always wants a navy blue v neck lambswool jumper (the new one becomes the smart one, and previous years ones are relegated down to every day and gardening) and my mum likes a new novel or a puzzle. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, just something that you know will fit in nicely with what they already enjoy.

We add things and links to things to our amazon wish lists in the months before xmas, just things we come across that we like but would not buy for ourselves then we pick from that for each other. Our grown up DS ,s do it as well.

DH and I don't buy for one another at Christmas anymore. We'll usually buy something for the home or ourselves in the seasonal sales, instead.

For the few other adults I shop for, I rarely have ideas concrete enough to shop from. I know their interests but not exactly what they have or want, and so many hobby things are out of the price range. I've come to the point that if they don't make a wish list of some sort, I give cash in a card, then they can shop for themselves, which I think they don't mind.

My logic is that if you don't know what you want, yourself, how can I be expected to know?

Men and older boys are so hard to buy for. Dh and I don't bother with Christmas presents for each other...we only buy for kids in my family, thank god! But honestly, even if I had a huge budget, I cannot think of a single thing to get him.

Men are a nightmare to buy for!

This year I've paid for my dad to have his car valeted. They come to the house and do it. £30. He'd never pay for that himself but I think he'll appreciate it.

I think it's much easer to buy good presents for adults in one of two categories

1. big/treat presents they wouldn't buy themselves eg luxury clothes/booze/chocolate/hobby gear. Luxury relative to whatever you'd normally spend
2. small, thoughtful presents from places likely Etsy, where you can get personalised or meaningful things.

I looked through my husbands watch list on His eBay and got some ideas from there. A new motorbike helmet and cover, nothing exciting! After more than 25 years I’ve gotten to the point where I just think I’ll send it back if he doesn’t like It and don’t stress anymore. I’ve also bought a beautiful painting he had screenshot and saw one Available. It’s more of a joint present really but I know he loved it.

We don't bother with gifts for adults anymore.

DH and I go out for a meal - albeit later in the year to avoid Christmas set menus 🤣

Im normally rubbish at presents so DP writes me a list of things he would like. However, I outdid myself a few years ago and surprised him with a hot air balloon ride with champagne.

I think it must be easier to buy gifts for adults if they don't have much disposable income - I hardly ever buy stuff for myself until it starts to wear out so I am pleased with nice pjamas/wooly socks/fancy chocolate/a book.

I agree men are harder though!

We stopped buying for each other, so much less stress!
We sometimes decide on a treat eg day out in normal times. This year we are upgrading the sound bar for the TV and have added some channels to the Sky package as we are having a quiet at home Christmas on our own.

I love Christmas but DH is terrible to buy for and this works much better for us.

If he is into his gardening would he be into wildlife?

I bought mine a trail cam last year which went down a treat and I’ve bought him some night vision goggles this year so he can watch it live.

... and a very sharp knife!

Women are much easier...I'm incredibly happy with a box of chocolates, candle, slippers, new lipstick.

Technology has taken away lots of options...not everyone reads real paper books now, cds/dvds are going out of fashion.

I don’t struggle with DH as he has many hobbies so I can buy hobby related stuff

With other adults we do a secret Santa now so everyone just buys one gift and the budget is £50 so can get something decent. Better than trying to find 5 x £10 gifts!

We’ve “ordered” our presents this year. He’s getting a stupidly expensive pair of red loafers, I’m getting an insanely expensive velvet cushion. Neither of us would buy those things for ourselves. We don’t have “family” money.

We mostly don't buy each other presents, unless there are things we actually want. Although I gave DH a list this year and he doesn't want anything so obviously now I feel guilty.

Oh you are not my tribe at all. We seem to make quite a big deal of presents here - some are requested but not all. There’s a wide mixture of experiences and objects, new and vintage. We don’t have tons of other family to buy for though so it’s not too onerous.

I bought DH a drone and a pair of trainers that cost £110 😳. He better get me something incredible I'm telling thee or there will be murder on Christmas Day 😂.

I think it must be easier to buy gifts for adults if they don't have much disposable income

I think this is true. Anything I'd get as a gift is cheap enough I'd buy it myself without much thought. I have an Amazon wishlist of books, but my Mum wants to buy me something about £30 and despite me saying 'just buy me 4 or 5 books' she wants to get something 'special' so I end up looking for something I know she'll be happy to buy. Rest of my family are all about consumables thankfully, so lots of nice food and drink.