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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want pubs/bars to be child free zones

51 replies

iloveknitting · 22/10/2007 10:43

AIBU to want to go to a bar or pub on a saturday afternoon to enjoy a meal or spend some time with dh and friends and not be surrounded by tired, screaming babies and toddlers running uncontrolled all over the whole pub.

OP posts:

mamazon · 22/10/2007 10:46

i think there are a great number of bars that are not family friendly.
if you wish to escape your own children it is fair to not want to listen to other people's so just choose a bar that does not allow children.

not sure why it would be difficult

tarantula · 22/10/2007 10:48

Yes you are. Plenty of childfree pubs around so why not choose one of them. If a pub wants to let children in its up to them and if you dont like it go to another pub.

Reallytired · 22/10/2007 10:49

There are plenty of pubs and bars that ban children. There are pubs that welcome children. Some pubs have family and non family areas.

Its up to the comusumer to pick an approipate pub. That way everyone is happy.

I assume that Iloveknitting has no children or if she does she never takes them out.

Carmenere · 22/10/2007 10:50

What an odd place to choose to child-bash??

rookiemum · 22/10/2007 10:51

If you are saying you want all pubs/bars to be child free zones then YABU.

We go to a great pub that has a child play area, but its huge, if you want to avoid other peoples children then you sit in the other section well away from them. We go there because its reasonably priced, unlike a lot of restaurants, and DS can enjoy himself and so can we.

If he was tired and screaming or running uncontrollably round the place then we would take him home. I don't think the actual problem is the children, its your perception that they are not being looked after properly. Frankly I would just find another place to go because clearly where you are going doesn't suit your needs.

AnnieOneSeenMyPumpkin · 22/10/2007 10:52

YABU.
You think it's not stressful for us parents of screaming babies and runaway toddlers?
We are just trying to get a quick half hour drink.
You have the choice of going anywhere if you are childfree. Our options are limited.

Saying that, other people's kids can be annoying. I try and get mine to sleep when we go.

When you have kids, you will understand then...

Carmenere · 22/10/2007 10:53

Oh sorry, you are not a troll. Yes you are being unreasonable, go to a different pub.

AnnieOneSeenMyPumpkin · 22/10/2007 10:53

How do you know she's not a troll?
[innocent]

dooley1 · 22/10/2007 10:55

yabu

go out in the evening or stick to less family orientated pubs in future

ffs where did you go?

Carmenere · 22/10/2007 10:55

Because there are 31 posts in her name on mn

DaDaDa · 22/10/2007 11:22

YABU to complain about this on a Saturday afternoon. Very late evening in a bar/restaurant I think is slightly different.

I think with the smoking ban pub culture in England is going to change a lot for the better. There will still be the 'old mans' pubs' and long may they remain, but the bigger pubs that serve food are becoming far more family friendly.

EricL · 22/10/2007 11:26

Yeah - as below.

There are plenty of pubs you can go to that are not geared towards families.

I can understand that everyone wants some time away from children now and again (i have a 'time out' evening without kids present about once a week myself) - but you just sort this out yourself and don't post comments about it on a parenting site.

Elasticbandstand · 22/10/2007 11:35

exactly, re the smoking ban.
family friendly is the idea, we went to a pub sunday afternoon, in the garden area which had a huge fantastic playground for dc's .. excellent. wouldant actually want to take dc inside pub unless we were eating. They woudl be bored
were you eatingin the pub?
screaming/crying children is obviously annoying, but that is annoying anywhere, shops, church, libraries. so basically it was the behaviour that was the problem.

Original poster

iloveknitting · 22/10/2007 11:40

i suppose my real beef is that the toddlers and babies were kicking up real racket(screaming, squealing, yelling, knocking into other people who were trying to eat) and the parents were doing nothing to quieten them down, even though other customers (inc other parents) were giving them filthy looks. it was the total lack of consideration for others that made me really angry.

OP posts:

Original poster

iloveknitting · 22/10/2007 11:41

it was a slug and lettuce, not sure if thats a family pub?

OP posts:

WorkingClassScum · 22/10/2007 11:43

Some parents don't control their children = all parents should be punished?!?

TinyGang · 22/10/2007 11:45

YABU...maybe. I know it's annoying sometimes but as other posters have highlighted there are loads of pubs which are geared mainly towards adults.

We go to those nowadays, but when dc were younger we sometimes used to go to family pubs for Sunday lunch. It could be noisy but at least it was a bit of a treat and someone else was cooking so I had a break.

The 'maybe' part of my post though does agree with you on one level. We have three dc and I know only too well that it's hard to get them to sit still and behave nicely, but I have to agree that some people don't seem to care in any way at all about that and just ignore the fact that their children are running riot. That annoys me too.

Hulababy · 22/10/2007 11:46

Where we are there are lots of bars and pubs that are child free zones, many with age restrictions such as 14+, 18+ or 21+. Dh and I go to them sometimes when out and about on our own.

However we do also take Dd out a fair bit too. And I really don't want to be stuck to "family pubs" to do that- I want proper, decent food, not something and chips! I feel that that is also my right, to take her out to nice places to eat and drink. How will she learn how to behave appropriately when out otherwise. And FWIW my DD has never been a screaming uncontrollable baby/child when out. If she had have started to become like that we'd have up and left pronto - I don't want to be in that situation, let alone for othe rpeople to see/hear too.

Just go to a child free place - loads around IME.

CatIsSleepy · 22/10/2007 11:49

hmm
my first thought was, totally unreasonable!

but actually if we take dd out to pub for lunch or whatever I wouldn't just let her run around inside bumping into people,
and if she was screaming I would probably take her outside til she calmed down

but, as others have said-it shouldn't be too hard to find somewhere child-free to eat/have a drink
it's much harder to find somewhere to find somewhere child-friendly!
We have eaten (peacefully!) in some lovely pubs with our dd and I don't see why we shouldn't be able to do that

so...yes....I think YABU

dooley1 · 22/10/2007 11:49

Slug and Lettuce have achildren's menu
Bit of a giveawy that it is child friendly really

rookiemum · 22/10/2007 11:49

Ok Iloveknitting, I think you worded your OP badly and the title as well.

If you had said that you would like to go out on a Saturday afternoon to the pub and find it annoying that some people are unable to control their children, then you might have had a bit more nodding heads.

We were outside in the child friendly pub the other week with our DS in the play bit and seemed to end up having to look after someone elses 4 children as well. All very well until one of them fell and hurt themselves, we thought at that point surely that one of the parents would come out, but no, it was left to us, well me as my DH was too scared to handle someone elses child, to give her a cuddle and check she was ok.

Yes that is annoying, however you should also remember that at a certain age it is difficult to stop them running off. Rookietoddler is a real escape artist but we do our best to keep him in check and if he kept shooting off them we would contain him or leave.

claraenglish · 22/10/2007 11:50

Message withdrawn

Twitsthatgobumpinthenight · 22/10/2007 11:51

I think there should be both of each, and if it is child free then no kids allowed and if child friendly then lots for them to do. and secure fences.

SqueeelyMeeely2 · 22/10/2007 12:08

my dad could have written the OP and YABU. I am having a HUGE dilema atm which i will start another thread for, but in response to OP, why should people with kids not go out if they want - you don't like it, go somewhere else

Yes i know thats been said before, but if we say it enough times, you might listen.

Gobbledispook · 22/10/2007 12:13

It's unreasonable to expect no children in a restaurant on a weekend afternoon.

BUT

I think it is reasonable to expect parents to control their children in a restaurant. Lots of parents don't adn it's very irritating.

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