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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want pubs/bars to be child free zones

51 replies

iloveknitting · 22/10/2007 10:43

AIBU to want to go to a bar or pub on a saturday afternoon to enjoy a meal or spend some time with dh and friends and not be surrounded by tired, screaming babies and toddlers running uncontrolled all over the whole pub.

OP posts:

LittleMissNervoustWitch · 22/10/2007 12:17

you say the toddlers where misbahaving and the parents doing nothing about it, was this just one set of parents and their children? or all of the parents that had children in the pub on that day?
if it was the former then maybe they were just very laid back parents and in that case it was a one off
if it the latter then maybe you are over reacting just a bit as i dont think all parents just let their children run around screaming in every child friendly pub on a saturday afternoon.
Maybe you just wanted peace and quiet from children in general and were upset that you didnt get it so were more aware of the children surrounding you?

dooley1 · 22/10/2007 12:21

do you never take your children to pubs and bars?
The thing is that there are a lot of so called pubs that are actually more like restaurants.
So Slug and Lettuce, Wetherspoons (the child bit), Brewster ones, will always have families in on a Saturday afternoon. They are just like Harvester in that respect these days.
Pubs that won't have families in them are usually not chains in my expereince, they are the old mens, smokers pubs. But even them often have the landlord's kids running around.
It really doesn't bother me at all. If I'm out without my kids I just smile at the parents and think thank heaven it's not me for a change worrying about the noiuse levels!!

dooley1 · 22/10/2007 12:22

obviously they used to be called smokers pubs

fircone · 22/10/2007 12:33

I think pubs/restaurants should display a sign "Well-behaved PARENTS welcome"

Some people just cannot see how annoying their dcs are to other people. They grin indulgently as the little horrors smear food everywhere and get down and run around.

I conducted my training programme in the likes of Brewers Fayre and Harvester, and now my dcs can sit in far more salubrious eateries and KNOW you DO NOT GET DOWN.

Obviously you have to do a fairly quick main course/pudding and run or they do get ants in their pants, but many people think it's quite in order to let their children run around or roll on the floor while they finish off their meal with a leisurely cappuccino.

Furthermore, I REALLY HATE IT when someone chimes in that in Europe people love children blah blah blah. If you have ever observed continental children, you will see just how good their table manners are and how even the smallest child behaves impeccably when eating out.

rookiemum · 22/10/2007 12:38

Fircone you put it all so eloquently. We go out for the one course dash these days and wouldn't dream off pushing out luck, except in the pub with the play area where we can stretch out to a quick coffee.

In my opinion its unreasonable to expect litle mites to content themselves for hours with naught but a pack of crayons and a piece of paper, and we work round that as much as we can by having a fast meal and ordering for DS as soon as we arrive ( hes 18 mths btw)

CatIsSleepy · 22/10/2007 12:43

rookiemum we're the same as you with our 18m old, we order and eat fairly fast and don't push our luck! best thing is if dd has something quite time-consuming to eat...she is always happy when she's eating...

defintiely agree that parents should not let their children run riot

claireybee · 22/10/2007 15:57

Perhaps a better title would have been something like "AIBU for expecting parents not to let their children run riot in restaurants and pubs", unless you actually menat that all children should be banned from them all in which case yes I do think YABU.

I love taking dd out for dinner with us, she has a good time and eats so much better in a restaurant than anywhere else. I do let her walk around while we wait for the food to come, but only with dh or myself, and we don't let her run, scream, shout or go up to peoples tables.

If she gets frustrated sitting in her highchair we'll try hard to distract her and apologise to anyone close by who notices-if all fails one of us will take her outside to calm down so that the other diners don't have to listen to her (we havent had to do this since she was about 6 months old though).

Like others have said we also don't expect her to sit there for hours on end, we'll order our meal, eat it and leave in the shortest possible time

Hulababy · 22/10/2007 16:00

We always take things for DD to do when we are going for a meal - crayons, books, little doll. Now older, as she is the only child most of the time, we also put in her Gameboy.

Pixel · 22/10/2007 17:49

If you are talking about a restaurant type place then I don't think it unreasonable to allow in well behaved children. On the other hand, if you mean more of a traditional pub/bar atmosphere I don't personally think they are a good place for children anyway, especially if they have sport on the tv so YANBU.

Lorayn · 22/10/2007 17:53

I have only read the OP, but yes, I think you are being incredibly unreasonable.
Since when did having children mean the only way we can eat out is in macdonalds??

However, I do agree that you shouldnt have to put up with toddlers running uncontrolled all over the pub. If a parent is going to take their childrne somewhere then they should try their hardest to make sure their children are not disturbing other people.

ScottishMummy · 22/10/2007 17:58

iloveknitting find another pub then be crabbit there- it is hard enough for those of us with wee ones to find anywhere to go. in my area only one does so no major imposition imo and pubs exclude children after 6pm.

tori32 · 22/10/2007 18:11

YABU, as has been said there are loads of bars that don't allow children, so choose one. In fact statistically the UK is the most child unfriendly for eating out full stop. How would you react abroad where children are welcomed at every bar!

fircone · 22/10/2007 19:24

There! I knew it! Someone always says that Europeans welcome, nay, love, children in restaurants/pubs.

I think you would find they would be appalled at the behaviour of many British children (even if they put on brave hospitable smiles at the time)

PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:28

i think iloveknitting that you are saying you'd like to go to the pub etc and not have tired screaming running amok kids all over the place? Or are you going for a blanket ban?

I'm with you on the not screaming ones. I cannot understand why parents think it is enjoyable for them to sit with screeching children running backwards and forwards. Nor do I understand how they are not mortified that they are inflicted this on other diners. What REALLY pisses me off, is the parents who think that becasue we are sitting nicely at a table either without children, or with our ones and they are having an off day and all managing to behave themselves at once, that we want their bloody kids coming up pestering us?! If any of you are on here - please note - STOP! I may be a Mum, but I am not an unpaid child entertainment facility for people who cannot be arsed to control their own!

I don't agree with blanket bans on kids in restaurants, for pub lunches etc, but I think its a pointless waste of time for parents, kids and other diners if the kids are over tired or whatever, and are running riot.

End rant.

ScottishMummy · 22/10/2007 19:31

are you presuming british children exhibit appalling behaviour then?bitty presumptious i think..speak for yourself

PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:32

she did say 'many' brit childen, not all.
chill.

ScottishMummy · 22/10/2007 19:33

Ah semantics yes, but point was still made belief held that british children are appallingly behaved.

Hey chill

fircone · 22/10/2007 19:34

Thanks, PCSMUM.

I enjoyed your rant, by the way!

PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:35

well some british children are appalngly behaved.

some of lots of other nationalities too. Like all other nationalities.

Is that not ok to say?

LadySnotAlot · 22/10/2007 19:36

Yes YABU slightly. We live in a society where children should be seen and not heard and it's rubbish.

I love it when I go to my parents place in northern Spain. Everywhere is child friendly and it's common practice to take your children out for an evening meal, let alone one during the day. And lo and behold - in general the children are all well behaved because they're able to learn these all important social skills from an early age.

Having said that, I wouldn't find it reasonable for my own children to run around screaming in this sort of environment as it isn't acceptable behaviour.

PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:38

I don't want children to be seen and not heard. I just don;t want them to come over and talk to me incessantly when I am out for a meal with my family. I feel their parents are taking the piss sometimes when they let their dc;s talk to us for ages, and the onus is on us to basically tell some poor little 5yo to 'go away' if we wnat our space back. I love going out to eat with my kids, its really lovely, but if any of them are tired, its a no go. And so we dont go.

fircone · 22/10/2007 19:44

I agree. We used to go to quite posh restaurants with ds and were always complimented on his behaviour. Dd was a different kettle of fish = WE STAYED AT HOME. (She has been tamed now!)

It is arrogant beyond belief to inflict any sort of bad behaviour on people who have paid good money to enjoy their meal.

And yes, it so SOOOOO not cute to have a kid coming over to your table. Go to a ball pit place if that's what your dcs are likely to do.

PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:50

happened to me in the playground today actually, i know tis diff to the eaterie, but still v annoying. Was there with dd, and her 2 friends, all aged 2. A 9yo came up to us, starting asking me loads of questions -'who goes in the double buggy, how do you decide, why are you looking afert them, which one is yours, what are thier names, how odl are they, where do you live, do they have their own bedrooms, do you like horses' blah fucking blah, Her mum was looking over, saw her dd has become 'engaged' with a vaguely non -axe murderer looking person, and cycled off down the road! I said 'where is your mum gone?' she said 'to do the shopping'

we left the playground.

FFS. Some parents!

ScottishMummy · 22/10/2007 20:00

eh well since the topic has deviated to "appalling" "behaviour" in pub/restaurant, i do believe you will find that the drunk/rowdy/raucous/drunks "behaving" "appallingly" are in fact adults

LadySnotAlot · 22/10/2007 20:05

Snarf at Scottishmummy! So very true!

I'd much rather an loud toddler than a loud/singing/aggressive/abusive/slobbering (take your pick of which) drunk adult.

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