Is there a name for this feeling? (Read; Am I a weirdo?)

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

Today I bought myself a bag of lollipops.

I know, sorry, I should have made sure you were sitting down first

Anyway. I saw them, I thought 'oh yum, I love those lollipops', and then continued to walk past them, feeling somehow like I could look but not touch. Until I realised - hang on a damn minute, I'm 33 years old and I want a fucking bag of lollipops.

Does anybody else ever forget that they're a 'grown up' and occasionally have to remind themselves that they can do what the hell they want?

I bought Love Hearts recently, and I'm currently enjoying an 'old-school' (i.e. just pictures behind the window, not chocolate etc) advent calendar as it makes me nostalgic for childhood Christmases. I'm 53.

Life's for living. Hope you enjoyed the lollies!
(and to the poster who mentioned traffic light lollies, I loved those! Not seen them on sale in yonks.)

I'd call it wonder, I think. It's a lovely feeling.

I know the feeling you mean. How about this though, have you ever looked around a meeting room at work and realised its all people your own age and thought shit we're the ones in charge now?? Quick get a proper grown up!!
I'm nearly 40 for reference.

I have mugs for tea at home, and cappuccino cups for, well, cappuccino. One day I was too lazy to wash up any tea mugs so had my tea in a cappuccino mug (I know, crazy right?) And for about a month afterwards I negotiated with myself that I could have one tea a day in the cappuccino cup rather than the mug, and I'd really treasure that cup of tea. Unlike I woke the fuck up and relaisednimman adult and I can drink my tea out of the cappuccino cup anytime I like!! Bonkers.

Oh this happened to me today! I was walking back through town this afternoon by myself (which as a SAHM is basically unheard of) and on a whim decided to get a cone of chips to eat on the way back up the road. I passed some school kids who looked jealously at my chips and I wanted to say to them ‘yes, this is one of the benefits of being a grown up - random chips at 3.30pm, just because I can!’

Wait until you have adult DC who then think they can parent you! Sometimes I have to remind them that I can actually do exactly what I want! I know any concerns they have over certain things come from love but it can be annoying at times.

Happened today as it goes. Bought some posh biscuits and had the standard two
Wanted more and told myself in my mums voice that two was enough and I didn't want to ruin my dinner. Realised I could eat more and skip dinner if I wanted to (i did).

There are two words I can think of which seem appropriate, freedom and choice!

This is such an interesting thread.

I'm autistic with ADHD.

I have zero impulse control. It's a massive problem to the point that I need someone to make sure I don't do what I want when I want.

I long for the opposite of what you describe.

Although saying that, buying a Lego set just for yourself is a wonderful feeling

I love a car McDonald's on my own. When I get a rare afternoon off, I go through the drive thru and get a big burger and park up. Then I put the radio on the station I want, without the moaning, get to eat my food while it's still hot and nobody is climbing over me or fighting with each other.

Being in charge of your own xmas is weird! I used to hate being a kid and having to wait until after lunch for presents because my miserable grandma said that was the done thing. My first xmas I was with DH, we got up and he was like 'do you want your presents then?' and I just thought, wow, we can do our own thing.

I had this a while ago. I was walking around a shopping centre waiting to meet my husband who was running late. I wasn’t enjoying it when I thought, I don’t have to do this, I’m a 40 year old woman. I can leave and buy myself a glass of wine and go sit in that nice bar across the street. It was like sweet relief,

Liberation? Realisation? Adulthood?
I remember my moment of something similar OP. I was mid 20s and went out to lunch in one of my favourite restaurants. All the way there I was debating which dessert to have. I sat down and ordered a dessert as my main and another for pudding.

It was one of the best meals I've ever eaten.

I bought myself a Mr Frosty because it was my most coveted childhood toy I never got. Man I wanted one for YEARS. Bought it aged 37! Felt amazing!

I bet there is a word in German for this:
'The sudden realization that you are an adult and there is no-one looking over your shoulder telling you 'no' so you can do the fuck whatever you want'.

I bought a car just for myself after two years of struggling to car share with my husband. I just walked into a car lot, picked one out, plonked down the money and that was it (oh yeah and insurance, tax, title transfer blah de blah de blah). I was just passing the car lot on the bus after a particularly tricky day and realized that I can just buy a car if I want.

hang on a damn minute, I'm 33 years old and I want a fucking bag of lollipops

This is the best line I've read on MN all week

PickleandPreserve Are Mr Frosty's all that? I also coveted one as a kid. Should I get one? For the children, obv

@SuckingDownDarjeelingI just read the entire thread in the hopes of finding more details about the lolly pops

@Pumpkinstace funnily enough I think I might be experiencing the exact feeling that the OP is talking about in real time now that I've read your post... I could buy myself a lego set! It's literally never occurred to me before now.

I had Happy Meals occasionally into my late twenties

I'm 50 and buy the kids meal from my local chippy. I just wish they had a fish option, but I go for the sausage and chips, and it comes with two huge sausages. It's more than enough!

I used to be that way but I've finally grown out of it. I blame my mother. If I so much as say 'oh that looks nice' she will say 'It won't suit you/ you've got one already / oh yes, nice on the shelf / ergh no that's awful'

No use me telling her I wasn't considering buying it, just commenting on it. It's the same thing over and over again.

With food it was 'shall we be naughty?' or she'll offer me a doughnut and if I say no thanks, she will be upset because for some reason that means she can't have one. She will also always say 'you don't have to eat it all' in a restaurant or make comments before I order such as 'ooh there's a lot of cream in that one' or 'this salad looks really nice'

I'm sure it's down to how she was brought up, but it has skewed the way I see 'nice' things now and guilt inevitably goes along with the purchase of such things.

I have major mh issues and a part of them is placing unnecessary rules on myself.

I've started doing away with that after a friend posted something on Facebook a while back that prompted me to realise I don't HAVE to do anything if it doesn't suit me as long as I'm not doing anything illegal or hurting others so...

I bought a load of sherbet fountains!

I don't beat myself up now if I cba to cook a proper meal and instead have sandwiches or a pot noodle

I've bought "extra" items around the house of things that are washable so that if I cba to wash said item I always have at least one spare.

I've bought myself a garishly colourful and fun pencil case cos even though I'm 48 nobody else will see it and it makes me happy!

Not ordered takeaway in a while but when I do I order children's portions or a side instead of a main if I'm not feeling that hungry and no longer feel guilty for doing so (seriously the portions in some places are crazy!)

I know the feeling you mean. How about this though, have you ever looked around a meeting room at work and realised its all people your own age and thought shit we're the ones in charge now?? Quick get a proper grown up!!
I'm nearly 40 for reference.

I'm nearer 60 but well remember having this feeling for the first time about the people running the country, rather than the workplace 😬

My fondest example of this is the time I took a day of leave without telling anyone (including DH) and spent the day at London zoo. This is about 15 years ago now and I still remember it really fondly. It was a grey week day and really quiet. I bought a pencil at the gift shop that is still in the pen pot on my desk. My mother had strong views on wasting money in gift shops!

I did this the other day!!! Felt illegal but it was amazing!

Great thread op, the nicest thing I've read in a long time😊