Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to stop taking in parcels for my neighbour?

50 replies

ERest · 10/12/2020 19:47

I live in a semi-detached new build and moved in about the same time as my neighbours on either side (over a year now). I have had lots of neighbours, and never had an issue taking in a neighbours parcels when they are unavailable. I don't have this issue with any of the other neighbours and have received parcels for different neighbours since we moved here.
The neighbour we share a party wall with are a young couple who have a 1 year old (This is relevant as I initially thought part of the problem was to avoid disturbing their little one).
Now for the issue. Whenever we take in a parcel for them, they never come over to pick this up immediately. The earliest they have done is 3 days later, and I usually get fed up and take it to them. The longest so far is a week, and they didn't pick it up. We have a really small entry way, you open the door and the stairs are right in front of you so there is no space to keep packages and it just takes up space on the stairs. Before the pandemic lockdown, I didn't think too much of it, as I just thought everyone was busy with work. Since the lockdown, I have just come to the conclusion that they don't like to come for their parcels, especially the DH. I took the parcel over one time, when they had not come for 4 days, and she seemed upset to see me when she opened the door. I politely asked if the postie had not left a 'something for you' card, to which she replied: yes, but her DH was meant to come over to collect the parcel. He heard her, and shouted back that he had just not had the time! I mostly feel sorry for the delivery folks, but I am at the point where I don't care about helping them out anymore.
A couple of weeks ago, I told the postie that someone was in when they brought the parcel over. They agreed but said they had knocked for a while but they not opening their door, and would I mind? I used to think perhaps the little one was sleeping but another event has made me realise he really just can't be bothered (He is home more than she is, perhaps works from home like we do). I arrived and was parking just as he was going in with their child. They both waved, and i waved back but then noticed he had forgotten his keys on the door. This did not take up to a minute, as I went to knock to alert him. It took him another 3 minutes of me now knocking loudly before he opened the door!
I know they get the delivery cards as I have begun waiting to see the postie leaves a card for them. I had told my DH not to take in any more parcels for them as they never pick up, but am now wondering if IABU. This has come up again because my DH received another parcel for them yesterday morning, and it remains uncollected till now. We have the same exact layout, and I can hear the knock from the farthest room on the top floor even though we have no doorbell.
So AIBU?
YABU - they could be hard of hearing, might not want to disturb the DC
YANBU - I would never take another parcel for them.

OP posts:
katy1213 · 10/12/2020 19:53

I wouldn't take stuff for them. If they don't like opening the door, they don't need to shop on Amazon etc.
Postman can decide whether to leave it on their doorstep or let them collect from the parcels office. Couriers will probably dump and run. Not your problem.

Goldensnitchy · 10/12/2020 19:55

I also wouldn’t bother, tell the postie unfortunately you aren’t able to take any more and leave it at that.

Meepmeeep · 10/12/2020 19:56

Just. Don’t. Take. Them. In.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 10/12/2020 19:59

I’d stop doing it. Or take them, open, use, deny all l knowledge.

Mycircusmymonkey · 10/12/2020 20:02

Honestly just don’t take the parcels for that house anymore nothing is lose you can do really

Mycircusmymonkey · 10/12/2020 20:03

Else not in lose

aeiouaeiouaeiou · 10/12/2020 20:06

Stop taking them. If they ever question why explain it's an inconvenience to you when they choose not to answer their door even if they're in and you then wait days for them to collect the parcel.

THNG5 · 10/12/2020 20:14

Our neighbours over the road are like that. The last straw was when I took in a very large package. After a whole day and a bit of them not coming to collect it (they were there), I went over and asked the husband to come and get it. His excuse was he'd been busy getting the 6 year old's birthday party ready and he didn't know if we were there. Well, without knocking on the door, you wouldn't would you?!
From that day on, I refuse to retake anything for them.

Nottherealslimshady · 10/12/2020 20:18

I'd throw the parcel you have over their wall and stop taking stuff in. Even put a note on your door saying you dont take parcels in.

BakedBeeeen · 10/12/2020 20:20

Errrrr. Not your problem! Seriously, don’t take in anymore parcels!

Dancingalong · 10/12/2020 20:25

I always take parcels round as soon as I see my neighbour is home, likewise if I have a note from the postie I pop straight round to get it. On the rare occasion I don’t go straight round she brings it to me.
I’d be tempted not to take in parcels anymore on this case though, very odd behaviour. If I did take any in I’d take it round once I knew they were home, knock the door and leave it on the doorstep, maybe with a note.

Burnthurst187 · 10/12/2020 20:34

Going from what you've said OP, I would stop taking parcels in. Maybe put a note on your door. It sounds to me like the neighbour's in question, particularly the man, are lazy. They would rather not answer the door to the courier as it's an inconvenience and they know you'll take it and even bring it over for them

It's odd though as they still need to answer the door to you so what not just answer the door to the courier?!

There's nowt stranger than folk

Bella43 · 10/12/2020 20:37

Don't take them in. I had a similar issue with my neighbours. They worked full time yet kept ordering parcels knowing they wouldn't be in. It took me a few months of taking them in before I had to draw the line. It was such a disruption having the postman knocking every day, setting the dog barking, waking my daughter up from her nap, getting me out of the bath and so on and so on. In the end I said to the postman, 'No sorry, I can't take it in as I'm going out later and don't know when I'll be back.' Never had a problem since.

Your neighbours can choose a drop off point for these parcels such as the post office, Royal mail delivery office etc Why don't they just do that and pick them up at their convenience if they don't like answering the door.

Hiddennameforever · 10/12/2020 20:41

I had similar situation.
I always took a parcels for a young neighbours. Lots of parcels.
Mine entrance hall is tiny, you can hardly turn in there and I always had their parcels stuck there and took times to pick up.
Once I took a big box in and it took literally the whole hallway and blocked the stairs. I saw them parking next door and waited for them to knock.
Nothing happened, even next day.
The evening I pop in saying that there is big heavy parcel for them so if they want to pick it up.
He said oh, ok, I was hope you would hold it for few days as I got no space for it.
What a cheek!
We could hardly walk in our hall cos of this box and he hopes that we could store it for them until they have a space! Wtf!
So no, I don’t take any parcels anymore. Thank you very much.

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/12/2020 20:45

Just tell the post person that you don't take parcels for that address.

I've done this with next door on one side (the other is fine, we take parcels for each other, we collect asap when we know the other has a parcel)....

Next door on the other side however, told vast and elaborate lies about us a while back.

My OH took in a parcel for her recently and when she came for it she didn't even have the decency to say thankyou, (or please or indeed hello...), she banged on our door and when he opened it I heard 'you got my parcel?!' and he said 'oh yes hang on...' and fetched it, and then nothing.. she just snatched it and walked off.

Anyway since then she's obviously ordered a TON of stuff for christmas, knowing damn well she will be out at work and there is just our household on the cul-de-sac that has someone in all day.... so I know what she assumed... We have denied about six parcels just this week, all of which have gone back to the post office that I know she would have to walk or taxi to.

Overheard her bitching this morning whilst I was in my room (OH out so car gone so shes probably assumed we are both out) that we won't take in parcels for her, to one of her adult kids whilst they were out front having a ciggie...

Kid says 'Well I ent surprised, you made up all that shit about them, they'd not piss on you if you were on fire'... (Apparently that 'ent the point' and we are 'fuckin' dinlos'... )

I had to shove a pillow in my gob to avoid snorting with laughter and shouting BINGO! out the window!

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 10/12/2020 21:32

YANBU, it's a favour that's now turned into an irritation so it's time to call it a day.

ERest · 10/12/2020 22:06

Thank you for your views, and I am going to show my DH this thread. Even when I take the parcels round, I could be stood there knocking for 5 minutes before they open the door. I really don't understand it. I take in parcels for the neighbours on the other side, and they do for us too, at least before we all began working from home. That's the other thing I have just realised: they have never taken in a parcel for us!
I will tell the postlady/delivery folks that we can't take any more parcels for them, but are happy to take parcels for other neighbours.
@JayAlfredPrufrock: the current parcel looks like body-care products from the packaging. Could make good Christmas presents. Grin
@THNG5 Similar here. Our cars are parked out front, so they can't say we were not home.
@Dancingalong They don't open the door. It once took me three tries to deliver a parcel to them in May even though I could hear movement inside and their cars were there.
@Hiddennameforever that is an out-and-out CF!
@WiddlinDiddlin Shock

Thank you all, as I wanted a different perspective.

OP posts:
PizzaForOne · 10/12/2020 22:34

Trying to think what possibly takes them minutes and minutes to answer the door in what sounds to be your typical fairly compact new build. Maybe they are naturists and live naked and have to pull on clothes before going to the door? Or always shagging

Brighterthansunflowers · 10/12/2020 22:44

I’d stop taking in parcels for them

You’re doing them a favour, they’re being CF to expect you to have their crap cluttering up your hallway for days on end until they can be arsed to walk a few steps to collect it

FluffySocks75 · 10/12/2020 22:51

Stop taking them

Pantsomime · 10/12/2020 22:59

If they can’t be bothered with their possessions why should you?

Amerimoon · 10/12/2020 23:06

I took in a set of outdoor furniture for our old neighbours years ago. Went round as soon as they were home to tell them to collect from ours and they said they didn’t think they could move the large boxes and could we keep for a few days until their relatives arrived to help on the weekend. It was massive!!! DH dumped it in their front lawn, knocked on the door and gave them the thumbs up when they answered.

Amerimoon · 10/12/2020 23:07

Posted too soon. Funnily enough they shifted it pretty quickly into their house from the front lawn.

AIMD · 10/12/2020 23:11

Yanbu

Just refuse the parcels

lanthanum · 10/12/2020 23:21

You can refuse to take the parcels.

With him not answering the door, is it possible that he is working from home and can't leave what he is doing? While some work scenarios would be happy about someone taking a couple of minutes to go and answer the door, many wouldn't - imagine if you're in the middle of a sales call, or delivering an online lecture, or in the middle of talking to an angry or distressed customer/client/patient.

Do they have a semi-safe space round the back of the house where parcels could be left? If so, you could perhaps warn them you're going to have to stop taking in parcels, and suggest that they leave a (small) note on the door to say to leave them round the back (or you could tell the person delivering to do that). If they're at home they would then presumably be able to go and bring them in at the next convenient point, so it would be reasonably safe.

Swipe left for the next trending thread