Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair?

34 replies

Lou898 · 09/12/2020 00:11

We are living in a Tier 3 area. DS has a girlfriend who he sees at school and is in his year so therefore in his bubble. He has seen her on a weekend but only by going for a walk outside, which I have not had a problem with. He has asked in the past if he can go to her house and I’ve said no ( he has done before when this has been permitted). Tonight he has asked if he can go to an outside event with her parents. I don’t have an issue with him going to the event as it’s outdoors and he can do this within the rules, however (and this is where the problem lies) he would have to travel in a car with them to get there. I asked him timings (as I would happily take him so he could participate) but it’s before I finish work. On that basis I’ve said he can’t. He says I’m being ridiculous and that he’s in her bubble, they’d wear masks but I’ve said I’m not trying to ruin his fun but it’s against the rules. It annoys me a little that her parents are putting me in this position. He’s gone to bed and is now texting me to say I need to tell his GF mum myself so I realise how ridiculous I sound and it would actually be nice to do something nice for first time in months. I work in a school myself and am trying to do the right thing. AIBU?
I do feel for him and I’ve tried to explain but it’s not going down well.

OP posts:
negomi90 · 09/12/2020 00:22

If he's seeing her at school then he's not social distancing with her (and if he's going for unsupervised walks on weekends with her, he's also not social distancing then, what ever he's telling you). He's having enough access and exposure to her (and her family through her) that going in the car will be fine and won't make a practical difference to your family's covid risk.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 09/12/2020 00:48

How old is he?

Topseyt · 09/12/2020 00:52

I would let him go. Ridiculous that he can be in a bubble with her at school and not socially distancing yet can't go anywhere outside of school.

Catsup · 09/12/2020 00:59

To be fair he could get on a bus to travel to the event with them (and quite a lot of other people). If they all wear masks, and he cranks down his window it'd probably be as safe? If not more so as they'll be a family unit who know if they're symptomatic vs total randomers who might have tested positive but may still choose to use public transport?

Original poster
Lou898 · 09/12/2020 18:20

@WillSantaBeComingToTown

He’s 16

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 09/12/2020 18:25

Is he realistically socially distancing from her when he sees her outside or at school? It seems doubtful to me so I would let him go in their car.

dontlikebeards · 09/12/2020 18:27

I would let him go.

HugeAckmansWife · 09/12/2020 18:31

Of course let him go. Maybe use it as an exercise in applying critical thinking and making your own judgements instead of following rules that make little sense.

fruitypancake · 09/12/2020 18:32

Definitely let him go!!

islockdownoveryet · 09/12/2020 18:55

@HugeAckmansWife

Of course let him go. Maybe use it as an exercise in applying critical thinking and making your own judgements instead of following rules that make little sense.
100% this, people's have lost the ability to think for themselves . Let him op they are in the same bubble , if they test positive they will have to isolate regardless of where they go outside school .
katy1213 · 09/12/2020 18:59

At 16, I'm surprised he's even asking. Of course he should go.

rosegoldivy · 09/12/2020 19:03

Another vote to let him go!

Bluntness100 · 09/12/2020 19:05

Cmon, she lives with her parents, she doesn’t socially distance from them, he doesn’t socially distance from her, that risk is taken every day, getting in a car makes no bloody difference. Let him go.

I agree with him, sorry, you’re being ridiculous.

Nottherealslimshady · 09/12/2020 19:10

He's at school with her and loads of others so it's no increased risk. He's also 16, old enough to not really need permission to see his girlfriend.

Yabu, and unnecessarily controlling and ridiculous. He'll lose respect for you over silly things like this.

Brieminewine · 09/12/2020 19:11

Oh come on let the poor kid go. You’re being ridiculous.

TheWitchwithNoName · 09/12/2020 19:21

I’d let him go

Bluntness100 · 09/12/2020 19:22

Who the hell is voting the op isn’t being unreasonable, the lads already exposed, the car ride doesn’t make a difference,. Confused

ginswinger · 09/12/2020 19:23

You're in tier three so I think you're doing the right thing saying no. Perhaps organise something for them to do together instead though? A compramise often smooths over a dificult judgement call like this.

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 09/12/2020 19:26

Poor boy, let him go 🙌

Racoonworld · 09/12/2020 19:28

I’m pretty strict with following the rules but even I think you should let him go. They should wear masks in the car though. The only thing you should consider is if it’s close to Christmas and you’re seeing vulnerable relatives, or may risk isolating of her parents are positive.

Demitri · 09/12/2020 19:31

I think let him go. It doesn’t make much sense to stop him when he’s seeing her at school anyway.

I’m in a tier 3 area and it’s really shit. Just got an email from the local farm (we book every year as they have a Santa’s grotto and festive activities) saying as our postcode is tier 3, we won’t be allowed to go. They have offered us either a refund or to come to the park at a later date, which there’s no point doing as the grotto will be gone by then!

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 09/12/2020 19:32

I'd let him go tbh

CiderWithRosy · 09/12/2020 19:35

Of course you should let him go. Sorry OP, I think he's right, you're being a bit ridiculous.

nosswith · 09/12/2020 19:35

I think not. If the other parents have any enemies or busybody neighbours (or indeed someone who your DS has fallen out with at school), then it could cause the other parents difficulties. Or you as you work in a school (if there is no-one who dislikes you in the school I'd be amazed.)

AuntyCandthefishfingersandwich · 09/12/2020 19:38

If they all wear masks in the car fine.

We had a 5 person outbreak of COVID at work because despite being strict in work with distance and masks they then all got in the car together with out masks and when one caught it , they all did.

She is in his bubble but her parents are not.