Unfair?

[Lou898]

We are living in a Tier 3 area. DS has a girlfriend who he sees at school and is in his year so therefore in his bubble. He has seen her on a weekend but only by going for a walk outside, which I have not had a problem with. He has asked in the past if he can go to her house and I’ve said no ( he has done before when this has been permitted). Tonight he has asked if he can go to an outside event with her parents. I don’t have an issue with him going to the event as it’s outdoors and he can do this within the rules, however (and this is where the problem lies) he would have to travel in a car with them to get there. I asked him timings (as I would happily take him so he could participate) but it’s before I finish work. On that basis I’ve said he can’t. He says I’m being ridiculous and that he’s in her bubble, they’d wear masks but I’ve said I’m not trying to ruin his fun but it’s against the rules. It annoys me a little that her parents are putting me in this position. He’s gone to bed and is now texting me to say I need to tell his GF mum myself so I realise how ridiculous I sound and it would actually be nice to do something nice for first time in months. I work in a school myself and am trying to do the right thing. AIBU?
I do feel for him and I’ve tried to explain but it’s not going down well.

If you believe a couple of sixteen year olds out on their own have been fully practising social-distancing, then you're nuts!

Let him go

I'd let him go.

As others have said, he could get on a bus with her and her family to go ... masks in a car will be no different under the circumstances. Tell them to ventilate the car and let him go.

This is precisely why these rules make so little sense. I don't understand how kids are in physical contact all week long but then too high risk on a weekend. Mine are moving classrooms, being put in different sets and different seats - school are not even attempting to keep their close contacts to a minimum.

At 16 they'll have been swapping spit every chance they get anyway. This car ride is not high risk in comparison. If the parents are happy to take him, let them

Car sharing is a prime source of infections. He might spend all day with her at school but he doesn't spend time sitting that close to her parents. Local nhs is promoting "sharing is not caring" and asking people NOT to car share

But the problem isn’t the gf. It’s the parents who will also be in the car.....

@Lou898 I think I would still say yes on the grounds that it has been a hard year. But your reaction isn’t ridiculous.

Another vote to let him go. You could put rules in place, I.e. you want him to wear a mask in the car, sitting in the back with his gf whilst parents are in the front.

im doing something tomorrow i legally sholdnt but th rules make no sense so just let him only difference is sitting in the car but they can wear a mask

Update - he has not gone. Partly his decision as I couldn’t have done a lot if he’d decided he was going. Not spoken to me since but he’ll get over it.
My parents both passed away last year and they are the only ones we’d have at Christmas so I’ve said she can come you our house over the allowed days as the “other household”

@Lou898
Yanbu.
He's a school bubble with the gf. Not a household, support or childcare bubble. He's most certainly not in any bubble with her parents.

It's against the law and potentially all risk fines.

Time I'm afraid to have to be the parent who is law abiding and not contributing to this crap show of increasing numbers because so many apparently are exception to the rules, when they're just selfish arse holes in effect!

Stick to your guns!