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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Slept with best friend

64 replies

Morris125 · 08/12/2020 23:21

Me and my best friend slept together a month ago. We have been friends for around 5 years and has strictly been platonic till the last few months, some flirting here and there but nothing serious. He was the one who started to pursue a sexual interest as I was happy the way things are but I do like him as well and was feeling lonely so enjoyed the attention. When this happened at his place, after we went straight back to being like best friends (no cuddles and stuff) which was fine just talking having a laugh etc. But now, since then we haven’t spoken properly since it all happened. We spoke in bits for a few days after but no flirting at all. I’m a bit disappointed because I feel like he was just bored and now it’s happened, he doesn’t want to know. I have 1 child so this could also be a reason why he’s gone cold incase he thinks I want him to play step daddy but it’s not like that at all. Like I said, I do like him but I liked our friendship more and I guess I just want to know AIBU to feel disappointed?

OP posts:

Green12123 · 13/12/2020 10:47

Not to be too optimistic as I would be pissed off too but could he have done it to provoke a reaction? Maybe he wants to talk but doesn’t know how to bring it up to you after a decent amount of time has passed (you
both sound like awful communicators tbh). That’s what came in my head, maybe using the platform that you use to make you realise what he’s done so you can confront him? Either way, you both need to work on communication going forward, it didn’t need to be stringed out this long.

Moomin12345 · 13/12/2020 11:24

Good friends don't pull that sort of crap, but I'm sure you'll find a thousand reasons to justify his behaviour. Denial isn't a river in Egypt.

Moomin12345 · 13/12/2020 11:30

Oh, and the best course of action is to ghost him back. Pernabebtly. Block all avenues of contract. But we both no that's not gonna happen as women love seeking out humiliation from such cocky tossers.

Original poster

Morris125 · 13/12/2020 17:47

I’ve sent a text to ask why has he created a new account and not added me, I did say that with what happened between us I don’t want it to come between our friendship but that I’m also disappointed with the lack of contact since it looks like he has finally got what he wanted and now is not interested in even a friendship never mind anything else.

OP posts:

SantasNoReal · 13/12/2020 17:54

Oh OP that’s so shut of him, after all this time. I hope you get some closure

SantasNoReal · 13/12/2020 17:54

*shit

Original poster

Morris125 · 13/12/2020 18:00

Thank you! I’m at a stage now where I just want to know whatever the outcome because I’m just getting more angry!

OP posts:

butterpuffed · 13/12/2020 18:07

You said you were lonely and he was bored so in reality you both seized the moment. What is your friend's character like...would he be embarrassed because he thinks you both crossed a line ?

ILikeStrongTea · 13/12/2020 18:23

That’s shitty of him. I think it’s good you sent that message as it does seem like you were just another one to add to the list, which is crap.

Original poster

Morris125 · 13/12/2020 18:24

He is a very confident person, he has never been in love either. I can’t imagine that it would be embarrassing for him but then again, he’s not one to have female friends so who knows

OP posts:

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 13/12/2020 18:32

A good friend wouldn’t do that - more so after years of friendship.

I would have given him the benefit of the doubt before that (embarrassment/awkwardness/regret/wanting more etc) but not now.

It looks as though he has set out his stall going forwards and it doesn’t include you. I hope I’m wrong as you clearly valued him as a friend.

diamondpony80 · 13/12/2020 18:41

Something similar happened with me and my best friend at university. We were super close and probably had a bit of attraction to each other, we were affectionate but always kept it platonic. I thought he was good looking but wasn't looking for a relationship or anything. One weekend it just happened - I was the one who made the first move though, and afterwards things were NEVER the same. Because I was the one who initiated it I think he felt I must secretly have feelings for him (despite what I said) and after that he kind of kept me at arms length for the rest of our time in university. He was always a bit awkward and weird with me and made every effort not to be alone with me. Before that we'd done everything together - afterwards we were no better than acquaintances. After uni we went our separate ways and never really kept in contact. I was gutted because I really loved him as a best friend but was definitely NOT in love with him. We'd always had so much fun together it was a real loss. We're both married (to other people) now, but I still think about him sometimes and wonder should I get back in touch just to tell him how hurt I was that he ditched me as a friend.

GreenlandTheMovie · 13/12/2020 20:33

How old is he OP?

Original poster

Morris125 · 13/12/2020 21:25

@GreenlandTheMovie same age as me 26

OP posts:

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