To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

[YoungScrappyHungry]

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

Selling shoes, a lady asked if I was the servant.

A bitch I worked with said she couldnt believe that someone had married me

Soooooo many, this is therapy

I was at Greggs, putting some milk into my coffee before work, (the little area with sugar etc is tiny) and i hadnt realised that someone was behind me, i apologised and said ‘Oh sorry i didnt see u’ and moved over.

He replied ‘If you wasnt so fat, i would of been able to use the area as well’

It really isnt made for two, its tiny!

I cant even remember if i said anything back to him

@Ddot

Christ thats awful

Man in pub shouted fuck where are her tits,
(I'm very flat chested)
( I retorted,) my chest is like your personality, small and insignificant. He scurried away

My one and only pregnancy was very difficult. It was a twin pregnancy and one of the babies was diagnosed with severe fetal abnormalities after 20 week scan. After weeks of consideration and further complications that were putting the healthy baby at risk of early labour, we opted for a termination of sick baby. I was 28 weeks.

The day after the procedure I checked out of hospital and asked DH to take me to a local shopping centre for dinner. I just wanted to do something anonymous and normal. The waitress sat us at a table and asked me if I knew what I was having and when I was due. It was the end jan and I was due end March so I just said March and a girl (healthy baby) . She looked me up and down several times, not taking my first answer, she then asked if I was sure I wasn't expecting twins.

Now it wasn't intentional but hands down it was the worst a stranger has ever made me feel. if she'd not promptly left our table instead of asking further inappropriate questions I am not sure how bad my reaction would have been. I literally melted into my sadness right there in the restaurant.

So folks this is why you never ask a stranger if she's expecting twins- not only are you inferring that she's fat, you also absolutely never know what she's going through.

Aged about 15, I was at a local social club where my dad was playing skittles. Chap from opposing team was stood behind me making loud comments like “hey sexy, hey babe” while I tried to ignore him. When I turned to go to the bar he wrinkled his nose and said, “oh. Shame about the face eh, love.”

I have a chronic pain condition which is not curable, and was diagnosed in my 20s. I guess I would’ve been in my late 20s when I was struck down in agony while out shopping. I remember sitting on the floor in Superdrug for a while! Eventually I managed to get to the bus stop and on to a bus home (I normally would’ve walked as it was only 20 minutes, but this day I could barely get one foot in front of the other). An older woman sat behind me and as I pressed the bell for my stop she said, “young people today, so lazy. When I was your age I’d have walked.”
I calmly looked her in the eye and said, “perhaps when you were my age you didn’t have an incurable illness” and got off the bus.

One that happened to my friend, that I got, erm, involved with. She’d recently lost lots of weight and was feeling good about it, we got dressed up for a Saturday night out. In one pub, a chap said to her, “have you got a bun in the oven or are you just fat?” I saw her face crumple and the red mist descended. I had him pinned up against the bar twisting his arm demanding he apologise to her, he squeaked “sorry” at me and I made him say it to her, not me. I then bellowed, “Do you enjoy making women feel like shit, do you do it to make yourself feel better about your TINY PENIS?” by which time the entire pub had fallen silent and everyone was watching him. He left his almost full pint and made a hasty exit from the pub.

@Her1mum

When I was in labour, I heard one midwife talking to another, referring to my DP and saying “What’s he doing with that fat girl?” Nice. I had put on weight in pregnancy (of course) but have been a slim size 10 my whole life.

Rather like the bar/retail staff who are “actually at university” I’d say being a “slim size 10” has nothing to do with the level of rudeness here. It would have been extraordinarily rude no matter what size you were.

Was getting an insurance quote done on my car at a garage recommended by the other party .
He asked when I was due ?
I wasn't pregnant.

dot, you could have said “Christ, where’s your dick? “

Three occasions I can think of,
Incident 1 . I was heavily pregnant with dd1 and as I was looking at the bus schedule under a bus stop which was also situated on a narrow path a bloke double the size of me slammed me in to the screen of the bus shelter whilst shouting move! I was absolutely gobsmacked! I’m sure excuse me would have been suffice.
Incident 2.
I was still pregnant with dd1 and got asked of a lady in the chemist how far a long I was , I stated 37 weeks said are you having twins? I said no just the one , she screeched you’re absolutely huge you are the size of an elephant.
Incident 3.
My dd2 has is 4 limb cerebral palsy and can’t do anything for herself etc and is in a wheelchair, one day whilst enjoying a walk out in the countryside a lady and her child passed and the little curious girl innocently asked her mum why my dd2 was being pushed in a pram ( actually a wheelchair) me expecting her mum to give a normal answer but instead snapped because some parents are lazy and can’t be bothered to walk with there children, I actually was ready to chase after the ignorant wench but shouted she’s disabled!

My first job was in public libraries back in pre computer days so library tickets which were filed. One day was sorting out returned books and handing back tickets when a man said that my hair was hanging in the tickets and was revolting. I looked at the name on the tickets, a local councillor, and handed them to him saying I would remember that comment when the next local elections were due. I did and reminded him when he came door to door touting for votes a few years later.

The following election he was out in the local town centre with a crowd of his sycophants accosting passersby. I was delighted to be stopped so I could remind him again of his rudeness in front of his followers.

Remembered another example of rudeness from a stranger.
I'm an older parent, but not that ancient.
I was out with DC ( aged about 4 at the time) browsing in a shop. Went to pay and DC said something like, "Hello, what's your name?" to the woman on the till.
She's smiled and said, "Your grandchild is very polite."
"Actually, that's my child, not grandchild"
She looked at me and said, "Are you sure?"

Just wanted to add one that didn't happen to me, but I was there.
Friend has a dd with a birthmark on her face. We were out walking around and two women who looked around in their 30s waked past. Cue one doing an exaggerated gasp/near faint and asking loudly "Christ, whats wrong with that kids face?"
Friend hissed at me to ignore, so I did but I wanted to ask her what was wrong with her brain.

Why are some people so vile, @DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow!

My first miscarriage was a missed miscarriage discovered at an 11 week scan. DH and I were totally devastated, it was a real blow. I chose to have medical management because I’d never had surgery so found the notion terrifying. Anyway, long story short the medical management failed and I started to haemorrhage and went into shock. I woke up following emergency surgery and a blood transfusion to save my life, not good. I’ll be totally honest and say that I almost wanted to die at that point anyway, I was just so totally filled with grief and utter sadness.

The following morning a consultant waltzed in with a group of student doctors. She peered at my notes before asking whether the pregnancy was planned or not (unsure how or why this was relevant). I was honest and said no so she retorted ‘better sort out some decent contraception so this doesn’t happen again then’. I was absolutely astounded, genuinely didn’t have a clue what to say. I just broke down crying once she left and I was utterly inconsolable. It wasn’t just what she said but how she’d said it, her tone was so contemptuous. I’ll never forget it.

I think certain people use retail staff as a venting mechanism for their own failings.

Absolutely, they treat retail staff like utter shit as a way of making themselves feel better. They view anyone working in a shop as inferior and therefore a suitable punchbag.

Like the guy who came up to me once and asked why I was so fat. He was clearly just out to make himself feel better by making me feel shit. If you can, you have to look down on those people and pity them (with head tilt) because that's their only joy in life - bring everyone to their level.

A respectable looking middle aged woman dressed in sort of "Country Casuals" beige ensemble was coming towards me. As she got close she snarled "Witch!" at me really venomously. Being pre-occupied, it only kind of registered as she passed and my brain went "Huh? Did I hear that right?" so I turned to look at her and she had also turned, sneered and hissed at me and said "For God's sake..

This reminds me of when I was younger and fully into goth fashion, so black lipstick, think black eyeliner, backcombed hair etc. Walked past some other teenagers, who whispered "witch" as I walked past, so of course I stopped and answered, "yes?"

They legged it.

Thankfully mild compared to some of the other reactions I got, had to hide in a shop once because I got chased and had coins and stones thrown at me - so that was nice.

I can't understand people who are unpleasant (or downright nasty) to retail staff, or wait staff - or anyone they thing 'beneath' them.

If people didn't work in supermarkets, or empty our bins, driving public transport, or work as waiters, or do any of the jobs people look down on - society would grind to a halt!!

We need people doing all the jobs - not just the skilled/managerial ones!

To my shame, I once got cross with someone in a restaurant - we'd had a horrible journey there, and my dh was going to set off and drive from Essex to Scotland after lunch - and the lady front of house at the hotel's restaurant told us we were too late for a proper meal. But I know my behaviour was not acceptable, and I went straight back and apologised.

I had to have a D and c. It was my second miscarriage in 6 months and we were obviously gutted. When I came round from the op in recovery I was totally spaced and couldn't stop crying. The nurse wasn't at all sympathetic and pretty much ignored me. The only thing she said to me the whole time was 'at least you can get a good night's sleep and not be woken up by a crying baby.' I can't remember what I said but I was so shocked and upset I didn't call her on it. At that point I'd have given anything to be woken by a crying baby.

I now have 2 DC but I have never forgotten her thoughtless comment.

I was under the mental health crisis team following a severe mental health crisis which I was later admitted to hospital for. A few days prior I was inconsolable about the loss of my baby (my exH beat me until I miscarried) the nurse visiting that day told me I should be thankful I didn't have a baby as I wouldn't be able to look after it anyway...

I didn't complain, I kick myself on a regular basis with a composition of all the horrid things the so called angels of the NHS did and said during my 'treatment', which led me to get PTSD.

@PurpleFrames I'm so sorry that's horrendous. There are loads of absolutely amazing NHS staff but like anywhere there's def a few that really shouldn't be in the jobs. Hope you're feeling as well as you possibly can now.

When my 16 year old was 3 days old, we were visited by two of the community midwives at home - neither of whom I'd met before. One of them was training still. They both checked my son over, then my (now ex-)partner received a 'phone call and went outside, politely, to take it. The midwife in training (who had hold of my baby) turned to me and, in a low voice, said "why don't you admit that he's quite clearly half-Asian... we need to know these things for our notes!". Problem with this? My ex and I are both Caucasian, my son is very definitely his father's son also, and... more alarmingly, my son was rushed into hospital the following day because he had extreme jaundice! Why do I consider her rude? Because the inference was that I didn't know who the father of my own baby was! At least she waited until my ex had left the room... but it made me feel like I'd done something wrong, and - given the hormones surging through my system at the time - I started to cry, which probably didn't convince the two older women that I was telling the truth.

But the fact that neither of them spotted that a 3 day old baby had extreme jaundice?! It's been 16 years and my mind still boggles at that one, I'm afraid.

I've never told my ex what that midwife in training said to me that afternoon. I still feel humiliated by her sly inferences, to be honest. If my son was half-Asian... I would have said so. My older child is mixed-race, so it's not like I would have hesitated in "admitting" it, if my younger one was, too.

I didn't complain, but I really do wonder if she ever qualified.

A few years ago a professional photographer came to the office to do some (boring trade mag) publicity shots for the firm. We were told to act as normal, whilst they did shots of the general office.

The photographer’s assistant came up to me and asked if I could step outside as they didn’t want me in the photos .

Maybe I’m deluded, but I’m not monstrous ! I laughed it off in front of my colleagues but felt a bit stupid as I slunk off.