Life coaches- it’s a scam isn’t it?

[TrollTheRespawnJeremy]

I am seeing a LOT of women in their 40s rebranding themselves as life coaches. Is this some kind of MLM thing?
They have an accreditation of some sort but I have no idea what qualifies them really.

I totally agree Rain.

I have a niche job which requires a lot of skill, tools, years of training and expertise, yet there are other people who call themselves by the same title that do a day course and fancy themselves as an equal and charge over the odds for something that took them a week to make that I could knock up in 20 minutes.

Very frustrating.

I agree @rainkeepsfallingdown and @TrollTheRespawnJeremy, I would like to see a tightening up of training, monitoring, accreditation etc, not so much to protect my investment in lengthy and costly training and accreditation but for the safety of people who are vulnerable. Often it’s the properly trained people who recognise when something is beyond their skills and have a system of close supervision or onward referral whereas the weekend course or online certificate holders don’t recognise this and plough on. They are also often operating without insurance. I’ve seen people saying they can work with trauma and all sorts of potentially very damaging and complex areas of treatment were most of us who are properly trained would be closely supervised. I imagine a properly trained coach would also be able to recognise when things are moving outside their skill set.

It is galling though, when you’ve spent a long time training and monitoring your own practice and trying to always be ethical in your approach to have someone set up nearby who is calling them self the same as you, who will damage the collective reputation of a particular profession. As someone above said “all therapists, coaches and counsellors just sell snake oil”, unless you’re going to talk them through your CV it’s hard to distance yourself from the Crystal danglers and mindset tricksters.

So we still don't know what one is, then?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy

^

Dietician?

@grassisjeweledGrass, way off .
Diamond setter!

I know a woman who professes to be a life coach. She is one of the most unhinged, mentally unstable people I have ever met

I have plenty on my social media who have joined some bullshit mindfulness cult and now advertise themselves as life coaches with facebook posts full of inspirational quotes on pictures of sunsets

On the other hand I know someone who describes her self as a life coach. She works with children and young adults from disadvantaged background of all kinds to help them navigate getting to college, getting on council waiting lists, she works with a local council that does "life skills" courses with cooking and budgeting etc. She is as far as I can see legit and is helping people "sort their lives out" to help stop them losing their way.

I imagine a properly trained coach would also be able to recognise when things are moving outside their skill set.

Yes definitely. This is part of the ICF coded ethics for coaches, and most good coaches will have regular supervision too.

I dunno, I think it depends on the person. I r cently had some coaching sessions to help me through a difficult time, the coach was amazingly wise and compassionate and it really helped me. I knew her already though and knew she would be fab, whether she had the bits of paper or not. My SIL is a qualified life coach and her own life is a car crash, I can't imagine what she feels she has to offer.

@SurreyHillsGirl

I know a woman who professes to be a life coach. She is one of the most unhinged, mentally unstable people I have ever met

Oh...I wonder if it's the woman I used to be mates with....she was incredibly intense....would talk non stop at you for ages...dump all her shit on you and then just up and leave....I blocked her ages ago as kept going on about the coaching and I havent seen her for a few years which is a great relief..she droned on for hours about the coaching etc...so boring !!

The life coaches that have popped up on my social media are nice people, but not people I would go to for life advice. I'm quite worried about one of them. It seems a very abrupt and uncharacteristic career change for her, and she is investing a lot of money into it.

I'm sure you do get good life coaches. Unfortunately the one I know has hardly any friends, never had a serious relationship or a proper career, has some serious problems and constantly clutches at straws to find something to blame her issues on rather than taking a look at herself. I know that sounds awful of me to say but it angers me that she would take someone's money, I think it could potentially be dangerous to 'coach someone's life' if you don't know what you're doing.

just qualified as a 'Life Coach' at the cost of over £100,000😲

That would definitely not be someone you'd want any coaching or advice from

I think you probably get a few great ones, some fair ones and a lot of less great (or even poor) ones. The fact that, as people note, there's no accountability, anyone can proclaim themselves one is probably a reason to search hard before going for it. That said, an outsider perspective, from the right person, can really help you see your roadblocks more clearly and help you navigate them.

On the otherhand someone else said therapists are bollocks. I have to disagree. Sometimes people need to talk to someone, it's the act of talking that helps, you can't discuss everything with friends and family and the objective ear of someone you don't know, who is trained is so valuable. I would say that it's not necessarily helpful to go on with therapy forever, but you can't beat a good qualified therapist for helping you overcome your mental health issues.

@Crimblecrumble1990

I'm sure you do get good life coaches. Unfortunately the one I know has hardly any friends, never had a serious relationship or a proper career, has some serious problems and constantly clutches at straws to find something to blame her issues on rather than taking a look at herself. I know that sounds awful of me to say but it angers me that she would take someone's money, I think it could potentially be dangerous to 'coach someone's life' if you don't know what you're doing.

Oh I see a pattern here...the one I knew did have a career but was always in trouble for cutting corners and leaving early...blamed everyone else of course...!!...never looked at her role in what led to disciplinary actions etc....I wonder if life coaching attracts a certain type...??...

The only life coach I knew was a complete con artist. She had no personal scruples in using people for her own gain and enjoyed bullying people under the guise of 'developing them'.

She managed to con her way into a job, quickly got herself promoted several times and destroyed a few people along the way.

She called herself the 'velvet steamroller'. Not very velvet...

@SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge

It’s a massive pile of wank!!! Unregulated wank at that. Peddled by people who don’t know what to do with their lives, so they ‘coach’ other people who don’t know what to do with their lives.

This. There are friends, there are qualified therapists, there are professional mentors, and then there are these quacks.

Yanbu. There are so many short courses you can do and become one. Why would anyone take advice from someone who isn't really qualified to do so.

My friend is a life coach. She's wonderful but her personal/professional life is all over the map. It's like the blind leading the blind! I wouldn't let her drive me to Tescos let alone 'life coach' me.

If life coaches are so good why do they end up as life coaches? They often end up doing this when everything thing else they have tried has failed

@LakieLady

I decided that "life coaching" was bollocks when the woman who worked in my local convenience store told me that she was a qualified life coach.

I was tempted to ask why she didn't coach herself into a job a bit better than earning min wage in a corner shop.

You massive snob. What a horrible thing to say.

Not quite the same but I know someone who is a psychotherapist - she is manipulative and pretty unhinged. I don't think I'd want to go to her for therapy.

I do think life coaches prey on peoples' insecurities. But there are enough people around who will pay them for a few (expensive) sessions that they stay in business.

Business coaches are different - they can help people see where they want to take their businesses and may have new ideas and may well be worth paying for.

Yes, many of these popping up on my Facebook lately. Funnily enough, it's all the ex Forever Living lot. Lol.

Motivational speakers. What a bunch of cunts (I believe that is the correct group name). In 40+ years of teaching these shonky wasters have infested so many senior school rah-fest lectures.

I lolled at that because motivational talks @ schools does seem to be the main bread and button for the person I know, although they do some corporate events and a few TED talks as well.

Do the schools PAY for this sort of 'service'? I imagine the corporates do but I wondered about state schools.

I think it does attract a particular kind of person (leaving aside the professional career mentors and advisors etc) because - unless you have aced life in every way - you need to have a certain lack of self-awareness to think that you can tell other people how to "do" life in general. It just sounds so arrogant, or maybe that's just my Calvinist roots! - but having fucked up this and that like most people, I'd just feel embarrassed to announce myself as a "life coach". And yet my life is nowhere near as chaotic as those of "life coaches" I know.

BUT I was thinking about this thread and there's another thing - a patriarchy thing. 99% of the people who are looking for these new careers are women, mostly women with kids who have been edged out of their careers or just given up because it was too exhausting being the primary carer and trying to hold down a job. They do that because of crap from employers, laziness and refusal to share the load from male OHs, and societal expectations that mums (yet less so dads) should be "there" for their DC.

Then they end up needing part-time work or wanting to work around DC and school hours etc - and become easy prey for all manner of MLMs, home-selling schemes, training courses that promise to relaunch you as this that or the other. So many female friends and acquaintances have done the whole "I'm retraining as a..." life coach, massage therapist, doula, yoga teacher, interior designer, osteopath, etc etc and then almost always it doesn't work out and they're onto the next idea.

Part of the problem is that people get starry-eyed about being self-employed and don't understand what it really involves. I've been self-employed most of my career and it's hard, hard work and you need to be organised and committed. £50 an hour to coach or massage someone sounds great until you realise you're not getting that every hour, you have to find clients, you have gaps in between, you have no holiday pay or sick pay, and maybe you're not as good as the experienced competition.

I think employers should be required to offer part-time jobs that fit in with school hours, for everyone (and not make this about women and mums) wherever possible - obviously there are some exceptions but many, many jobs at all levels could be done this way.