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Original poster

Overheard whispering

50 replies

rumandbiscuits · 07/12/2020 14:23

Just after some advice really.
Before I get started we are in tier 1.

Went to see my sister yesterday and my Mum was also there. We were all having a nice afternoon (don't all see each other together very often, although my Mum sees us both regularly covid permitting). I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and whilst I was in there could hear them both whispering (couldn't hear what was actually being said though). I waited a couple of minutes as I thought maybe I was hearing things but they were 100% whispering when I walked back into the room my Mum was walking away from her (she was sat down) and made a comment about one of the decs being wonky so went to adjust it. I said straight away 'what were you both whispering about?' And they both ignored me so I said it again and my sister said nothing we were talking about the star on the tree being wonky. I said I heard that bit but you were whispering about something and then my sister went silent and my Mum said 'we weren't whispering' I said yes you were I could hear you both and then she said they weren't whispering, they were talking about so and so's new baby which we had all been talking about before I went into the kitchen to make the cuppa. I dropped it then but it's been playing on my mind ever since and I'm not sure whether I should bring it up again or just try and forget it? Maybe I'm paranoid but I'm pretty certain they were whispering about me. We aren't getting Christmas presents for each other this year so it couldn't have been about that. I just can't think what else it could be other than I told my Mum not long ago I had been feeling down recently so maybe they had been discussing my mental health? Just seems like quite a rude thing to do when I was only in the next room.

OP posts:
Bufferingkisses · 07/12/2020 14:30

Isn't it just as likely they were whispering about something to do with themselves as to do with you? Perhaps something your sister/mother doesn't want to discuss yet? As you couldn't hear them it's as likely to be something not about you as something about you isn't it?

Original poster
rumandbiscuits · 07/12/2020 14:33

@Bufferingkisses

Isn't it just as likely they were whispering about something to do with themselves as to do with you? Perhaps something your sister/mother doesn't want to discuss yet? As you couldn't hear them it's as likely to be something not about you as something about you isn't it?
Yes I see where you are coming from I think it's just the fact that they didn't want me to know what was being said that made me feel like it must have been about me. I didn't really think we kept secrets from each other but maybe I was wrong.
OP posts:
tappingintherain · 07/12/2020 14:36

Perhaps it's a surprise for you and they rightly don't want you to know yet? It doesn't always have to be something negative but I see how people whispering behind your back can rile one up.

Could it be they're planning to get you a gift after all?

HeeHawSeeSaw · 07/12/2020 14:44

Sounds like they have both gone back to 5th grade. I would just leave it..they've already denied whispering behind your back a few times so I doubt they will admit it now. It's just not worth thinking about or bring up again.

SockDrawer · 07/12/2020 14:47

This would make me feel really uncomfortable too. I’d find it hard to drop it.

HorridHamble · 07/12/2020 14:51

I suggest trying not to ruminate. Yes, it’s a bit rude, but you’ve no idea what the subject was, or even if it’s related to you in any way. I wouldn’t give it any headspace. There’s no point.

Almostslimjim · 07/12/2020 15:15

My be your sister was talking to your mum about something private? When I whisper to someone, it's about something to do with ME that I don't want to the other person to know about, so a health issue, pregnancy, a job application etc. I would only do it if the other person asked though, I wouldn't initiate a whispered conversation.

HolyBuckets · 07/12/2020 16:37

Could be something positive, maybe they were whispering about your Xmas present.

ScrapThatThen · 07/12/2020 16:41

I think this might be your depression making you more suspicious or aggravated by it than usual. It colours everything. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the best - they were most likely sharing how they felt you seemed, if they have been concerned for you.

Lindy2 · 07/12/2020 16:42

If you all generally get on then I would let it go. They're unlikely to suddenly be being nasty behind your back if you are all getting along normally.

Perhaps your sister had something private (but not about you) that she needed to say to your mum or visa versa.

Us be curious but if they don't want to say right now respect their privacy. You weren't in the room so they wouldn't have thought you could hear. They weren't whispering in front of you which would be very rude.

Original poster
rumandbiscuits · 07/12/2020 17:04

Thank you for all of your replies and insight it helps to get other peoples perspective. I really can't see them being mean about me but that's instantly what i thought when it happened and they acted so suspicious when I asked what they were talking about. I jumped to the negatives. I will try to forget it now and assume it was either something positive or not relating to me at all. Hopefully next time they need to speak privately this will teach them to do it when I'm not about as I clearly have better hearing than they assumed!

OP posts:
notalwaysalondoner · 07/12/2020 17:17

Could your sister be pregnant? Be having some health/relationship issues she wants to keep private? I’d think that would be the most likely explanation

GreySkyClouds · 07/12/2020 17:24

Drop it. They don’t want to tell you.

SamanthaJayne4 · 07/12/2020 19:53

Whispering is bad manners, especially since you heard them. They should know better. Very childish of them. I think you will have to leave it as they will just keep on denying it.

FestiveChristmasLights · 07/12/2020 19:55

@notalwaysalondoner

Could your sister be pregnant? Be having some health/relationship issues she wants to keep private? I’d think that would be the most likely explanation
Also my immediate thought.
Catsick36 · 07/12/2020 19:58

Maybe they were talking about your Christmas present?

dontgobaconmyheart · 07/12/2020 19:58

I don't think they are going to tell you if indeed they were talking about you OP but it is worth remembering that it's just as possible they were speaking positively (xmas present etc) or were discussing you out of concern, which comes from a positive place. Or indeed it may be private between them as others have said. They have the right to have private conversations and that doesn't need to be made into a game of favourites or leave you feeling excluded.

I wouldn't use it to beat yourself up with or mull over it.

Gncq · 07/12/2020 20:03

Yes sorry, sometimes people just need to keep things to themselves and if your mum doesn't see her daughter's very often face to face perhaps it was a opportunity to talk about IDK your sister's ectopic that she doesn't want to talk about, your present, a whole manner of things.

I get it hurts to feel left out. But your grown adults now. It's unusual times.

I'm sorry you've been feeling low.

I wouldn't bring it up again. Maybe ask your sister or mum how she is and if there's anything she wants to talk about?

Original poster
rumandbiscuits · 07/12/2020 20:59

She definitely isn't pregnant she has a baby who is only a couple of weeks old and has recently said she will start trying for another after her wedding. We aren't doing Christmas presents this year so it wouldn't have been that either. I could drive myself mad thinking what it could have been about and I think the brain automatically goes to the worst rather than thinking like a few of you have said it could have been positive or something not relating to me at all. I will never know and won't ask again just going to try and forget it now although I know that's easier said than done! I usually go to see my Mum most days after picking my LG up from nursery as she lives alone and I worry she gets lonely (especially after this awful year) but I have avoided doing it today and already don't want to go tomorrow either! The trouble with me is I'm so bloody stubborn and moody! Wish I could snap myself out of it. Thanks for your input everyone.

OP posts:
OrlaPeely · 07/12/2020 21:12

I think I a would say to your mum (when you next see her) that you understand she and your sister were discussing something privately and that you don't expect to be told what it is, but that the way they did it made you feel quite insecure as whispered conversations cause these negative feelings for you. Then they know you're not being nosey (though it's very annoying not to know what it is but sure you will know when you need to) and they also know not to do it again!

Ideasplease322 · 07/12/2020 21:23

They are probably a bit worried about you and just checking in with each other.

Remember they love you so It wouldn’t b anything mean.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 07/12/2020 21:28

were they supposed to sit in silence while you were out of the room?
Probably just amused that you clearly thought they were whispering about you?

Whererainfalls · 07/12/2020 21:39

@Ideasplease322

They are probably a bit worried about you and just checking in with each other.

Remember they love you so It wouldn’t b anything mean.

I think this too. I know how easy it is to do, believe me, but try not to let your mental health issues make you think the worst of people. They're your family and I'm sure they love you and are just a bit worried about you, which is totally normal. Don't push people away when you need them most.
mopphead · 07/12/2020 21:42

Ah if she's a new mum then maybe it was something private to do with baby / post baby woes. Plenty of those that one might not wish to share! I know I had all sorts of body pains and problems that I would not want broadcast.

Oreservoir · 07/12/2020 21:49

Perhaps they were whispering about you being stubborn and moody! Grin

Try to forget it OP. I hate people whispering but sometimes it's better not to know what's said about you.

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