To ask have you ever been told off at work?

[Rainbowb]

Got yelled at the for the first time ever at work on Friday by my boss. Never in any job has that ever happened before. I’m a quiet hard working type who always goes the extra mile, I just slipped up by concentrating on the wrong thing. I feel so silly but I had no idea I was so fragile. I was gutted, went home and cried and now am dreading going back tomorrow. The little confidence I had seems to have disappeared. Wish I could just get over it! I often get the impression this woman just tolerates me she never chats to me like she does to the others, never asks about my life and lets others get away with far worse. Can anyone make me feel a bit better and tell me they’ve had a rollocking too and it’s all been ok?

Often. Sometimes fairly, other times unfairly.
I went on to be the boss eventually 😂

I had a bollocking and she made me cry. I felt so pathetic.
I work hard and go the extra mile too, seems to be that it’s not good enough these days.

Ha, constantly. I used to work for a complete man child who would regularly scream at me and call me a bitch. He didn't like something once and kicked my chair in a rage. A regular bollocking would have been a welcome change!

I’ve never been yelled at, that’s unprofessional and nobody should be yelling at you.

I have been told off in the sense of being told my work wasn’t good enough or the client wasn’t happy. It’s not pleasant and it did make me feel pretty shit. But, everyone makes mistakes, you pick yourself up and learn from them right? And in a few days it is all forgotten.

However - being 'yelled at' is unprofessional and unnecessary.

Oh no, what happened?

I’ve been reprimanded at work but never shouted at. It’s not nice, I was embarrassed, at first but it got easier and I moved on.

I think it’s unprofessional to shout at staff, even if you’re angry. Maybe she was having a bad day and unfortunately you got the brunt?

How unprofessional to shout at you says more about them than you even if they made a mistake. A good boss would use it as a learning opportunity shame your company has a manage by shouting approach.
Honestly I don’t think that kind of work environment will bring out the best in you. Acknowledge the mistake and perhaps look for other opportunities before they shred your confidence

*You not they

Yes. I am am accountant.

One manager used to constantly scold me like a naughty child. Would ask me why I've not done things that she never asked me to do etc etc. At one point I kept a tally of the scoldings, I used to take the post it note off my desk phone and add a tally every time as she scolded me 😅 ended up full!! She would flit between mainly doing stuff like that, to occasionally being sickly sweet, buying me a Christmas present etc. Absolutely crackers.

Had loads of other awful bosses too but some lovely ones.

No l haven't been yelled at and if l was l would be telling them pretty sharpish l won't be spoken to that way.

This is HER problem. She sounds like she has no people management skills. A lot of managers don't. Don't let her make you feel this way.

*an

Can’t give too much detail as it would be outing, but was devoting too much time to one thing and to be fair it was probably making me less productive and putting pressure on others but it certainly wasn’t my intention. She just yelled at me to get on with my proper job in front of colleagues and clients. She was having a stressful day but I feel so wary of her now and doubting myself so much. What if she thinks I’m crap? The annoying thing is, my colleague was pratting about for ages that morning putting stupid doodles of the staff over the wall yet everyone thought that was hilarious. She is always late, never gets her paperwork done but seems to charm everyone and get away with it!

I've Ben yelled I didn't deserve it my boss had told me to go ahead and weld a car he said he had prepared it. I went ahead and welded it then there was smoke 😕 he hadn't taken the carpet up and it caught fier . He then had the balls to shout at me😯 he did later apologies. Things happen unfortunately not everyone will.like you in would just get on with work the best I can and ignore the person best I can so not to let it get to me.

That really doesn’t sound like a reason to shout at someone. If she thought you were splitting your time inefficiently then she could’ve just mentioned that directly to you in a civil and respectful way. No need for a big show.

Seems like poor management more than your issue.

I did a phd and was told off frequently by senior people on the project including being shouted at like I was a child. It's not a good managerial style and she shouldn't have done that!

In contrast, in my current job I made a big cockup (way worse than the silly mistakes in my phd!) and my manager was amazing. She looked up all the protocols to try and work out how big a deal it was, dealt with our scary manager on my behalf so I didn't have to. And then she whatsapped me explaining she was going to send me a formal email explaining what I'd done wrong and just wanted to prewarn me that it wasn't in her usual tone! Honestly she is a total star and it made me realise not all workplaces need to be toxic. It's exactly the same result -ie I'll never make that mistake again, but without all the drama and stress.

That is very unprofessional of her. There is a way things should be raised with if there is an issue and it does not involve yelling or telling someone off in front of everyone else.

As a manager I have certainly had reason to "tell people off". I have never shouted at anyone, and would never "tell someone off" in front of others (unless it was part of the proper HR process). To be honest, it is rarely to do with work errors either - mistakes or errors of judgement can be dealt with in better ways (unless you do the same thing more than once, in which case I might be less than impressed). The last "telling off" was the apprentice who can't get out of bed in a morning, and it wasn't even for that - it was because he left everyone desperately searching for him (working from home and no contact, didn't pick up the phone). Twice!

Quite a few times over the years. On one memorable occasion, I was chided for referring to ' commercial in confidence' information in a private email that had somehow found it's way to my boss and HR. When I pointed out that this information was publicly available on the client's own website, the conversation quickly came to an end. I wasn't totally innocent, I admit and I had acted in a way which was at the very least inadvisable. But things weren't as bad as I was expected to believe. Said gaffer is sadly no longer with us - he was essentially a good sort and just doing his duty.

@Moondust001

The last "telling off" was the apprentice who can't get out of bed in a morning, and it wasn't even for that - it was because he left everyone desperately searching for him (working from home and no contact, didn't pick up the phone). Twice!

What did he say the second time round?

Never. But I work with only men at the moment & the mansplaining is horrific. Also, if I make a minor code error, my line manager gets all patronising (an offshoot of the mansplain) but the utter idiot I’m training to take over my job (disabled, have to work from home, female, board wanted a ‘man’ in the office everyday on double my salary (twunts & as contractor there’s not much I can do)...anyway, he’s made some blinding fuck ups in the last 3 months in his probation period and...oh look. My contract finishes on Dec 31st (he’s working from home too, not in the office) & he can sail his cock & my job into the sunset.

I’d rather be balled out than slyly shat upon.

In a professional environment it’s not appropriate to “tell someone off” in my opinion. People fuck up, give them constructive feedback, express your displeasure at their attitude if necessary. You don’t earn respect by “telling off”. I’m a senior manager and have 3 levels of managers junior to me, I’d be pretty unimpressed if they’d given their staff a telling off!

Only once (that I’m aware off) I didn’t even notice someone else complained on my behalf.

I’m sorry your colleague was such a dick to you in front of other colleagues and clients. I think it would be safe to say that the people witnessing it won’t have been impressed with her though, even if no one publicly defended you.

She’s bullied you in public. She has shown poor management ‘skills’.

I’ve had a rollicking or two and been brought to tears by 2 bullies (both female) but not in front of others. It’s horrible now but you will get past it

Yes quite a few times in my previous job haha! Got chased by one of my bosses because I accidentally hit him with cellotape I chucked across the office. Had many arguments with other colleagues which led to tellings off in the office.

New job had 2 tellings off during lockdown because I argued back because I didn’t like how they done things

Been told off by my husbands boss too

I was once. She was totally and utterly in the wrong. She's now been moved on and it's bliss without her. We are building a team and many bridges without her. She embodies everything that can be so poor in female managers- bullying, public put downs, shorty emails cos she can't handle a difficult conversation. Some of my best managers have been women; she isn't one of them.