To not want to hear about their films and books?

[Uncomfortablynumbed]

I probably ABU but it’s getting right on my tits!

Chatting to a couple of guys at the moment. I’ve been on a few dates with one of them and only met up with other guy once. We’re in a tier 3 area so no meeting up with either at the moment.

Both guys keep telling me all about which books they are reading/films they are watching and it’s starting to really annoy me. I’m a single mum to two small DC. Much as I love a good film/book I have zero time for either these days (and I’ve told them both as much) For example last night one guy was telling me about the film he was currently watching. Then the other guy started telling me about the book he’d just picked up (after finishing watching a film obviously)

I feel like telling them both to please stfu about themselves and their own interests. Especially ones that just make me feel jealous because it’s a world I no longer inhabit!

I think I need to stop dating don’t I?

Didn’t mean to enable voting there!!

Maybe you should date another single mum

@Pikachubaby That would be ideal. We could talk about all the time we don’t have free for watching films and reading books

Yes I don't think you are quite ready OP.

I'm not in your position but from reading the threads on here it could be way worse.

I'd much rather hear about the latest John Grisham Book or Batman film than get a dick pic!

What would you rather they talk about? I think it would be lovely to have someone tell me about a book they were enjoying. If they can't discuss their interests, what on earth do you think would be appropriate??

There's not really much else to talk about at the moment though, is there?

YABU. Whoever you end up dating you’re going to have to take interest in their hobbies, even if it’s just a casual asking in passing or listening to them.

If you can’t deal with that, you’re not ready to date. It’s not their fault you don’t have any time.

@LEELULUMPKIN I never thought of it like that. The content could be a lot worse

I suspect it’s actually their way of trying to impress me with how sophisticated they are. To be fair they do both have very good taste. I just can’t stop getting pissed off at the thought of all their free time

I don't really understand.

Surely the beauty of conversation and getting to know a potential date, is about listening to each other's interests?

Otherwise you're both just talking into an echo chamber.

If you have time to date surely you have time to read or watch a film in an evening? Not that you should have to if you don’t want to but you just have the odd few hours free here and there if dating.

I think maybe it's a case of you not being interested in the same things rather than you not having time is it?

They're just not for you. Perhaps reading or films are their main interests. Maybe they're thinking if you haven't got time to read a book or watch a film, how will you have time for dating?

Are they showing must interest in you though Uncomfortable? If its roughly half n half then YABU. If they're just waffling on about films/books/how clever they are, YANBU.

It’s not that I don’t want people to discuss their interests. It’s more I would quite like to be asked about my own as well. Guy one is especially bad for not asking/commenting. He asked for a pic of my xmas tree and I literally got an emoji as a response. Yet I was clearly expected to comment on the several pictures he sent me of his tree

much interest, not must.

Oh, well that's just dickish behaviour!

So, I was right :) It's about the lack of interest, not the film/book thing.

So you don’t want people to talk about anything that you don’t (not can’t- you can watch a film or read a book if you want) do? Are you sure dating is the right hobby for you?

Ok ditch guy one - self absorbed, boring - and see if guy two is less annoying once you’re not dealing with both of them. Good luck!

@WorraLiberty Actually I think you’ve just summed up the first guy really well. It does feel like I’m talking into an echo chamber. I was struggling for a way of putting it but that is perfect.

Guy two is generally much more interested in me tbf. Just last night he was also waffling about films

No I don’t have time to watch films/books. Once D.C. are in bed I’m too tired and just go to bed myself. I get out on the occasional date if my DP have them overnight. I don’t have time for a proper relationship but it’s nice to have a bit of fun now and again!

I agree with you OP.
Though I did find that with on line dating a lot of men don’t know how to have a conversation so fall back on book, films and music.
I hadn’t read a proper book in over a decade since having children! Nor am I a music geek. It flummoxed a lot of my dates as I’d be quite honest about it. No point in pretending.

Some would message saying they wanted to save some conversation for a date - I wouldn’t meet those. How can you run out of conversation after a few messages?!

@RolandSchitt I thought it was dickish too. He didn’t even say it looked nice. Then I asked him how his week had been and he didn’t even ask me in return

@Smallsteps88 I am interested in other people’s stuff. I just want a bit of interest to be reciprocated!

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants Yes it’s the lack of interest in me that’s pissing me off. Most notably with guy one. He’s a lovely guy in many ways but so self absorbed.

What a weird thing to get annoyed about

Does your children's dad see them? Mine are away EOW and I've never read more!

@Rummikub Actually love the thought of their faces when you told them you’re not into films or music

Communication over message is such a minefield isn’t it? Did you ever end up meeting anyone worth the hassle?

@GlummyMcGlummerson Their dad has no contact with them. No weekends off for me!