Met a lovely guy a year ago who lives 90 miles away. From a few months in he started asking when he was going to move in (in a joking manner, but constant). He also said he would like us to have a child in a few years.
He is very lovely but there are issues...he is obsessed with body image, constant calorie counting to the point that it interferes with daily life (oh I'm fasting today so I won't have fish and chips on the beach as we planned, etc). He has daily health issues which are mostly in his head but dilapidate him regularly. He has ED but is 'putting off following up on doc appointments because of Coronavirus'...he says other people need the NHS more.
Now...I'm 40, had 3 children, but love the family life and wouldn't be adverse to having one last chance at a family. I own my own home through bloody hard graft. Upon meeting this lovely man and considering his wants, I explained that age is not on my side and if that's what he wants then we'll need to plan appropriately, sooner rather than later (putting aside my concerns about his various issues, which aren't deal breakers).
We had words the other day because I feel that I have tried to accommodate him and his desires...given him an office in my home to work from with a view to him moving in soon anyway, applied for a better job as we'll be needing more money (didn't get it), have him practically live here etc. I feel he is offering very little to get where we are supposed to be going. He is refusing to even consider looking for alternative work, his notice date keeps changing with no specific date set ever. He constantly talks about how wonderful his own county is. He is in debt with a repayment plan over 2 years but talks about getting several things on finance, including a car soon!
We have come to blows this week because he went home on Monday to sort things to sell, for a move here. He put some things he doesn't use from his shed up for sale and then wanted to come back here. I said I'd like him to stay there and get some significant progress done as the last I heard, he was handing in his notice in the New Year. He now says he doesn't know when he'll hand it in.
I have told him that I am more than happy to go back to dating him to take the pressure off, if he is reluctant to commit. That doesn't involve him practically living at mine though...but he's not happy about that.
I'm a very hands on type. If something needs doing then it's all hands on deck. He is very sloth. I'm getting older and this situation doesn't sit well with me. The uncertainty is making me depressed. I don't know whether I'm coming or going anymore.