To think a lot of people are making a fuss about Covid because they don't want to see in laws

[iswhois]

Relaxation of the rules is allowed

People are still hardline about it, usually where there is some issue with in laws

Just be honest and say you don't want to do it

Hardly, Willsantabecomingtotown. Late 80s, clinically vulnerable, told to shield. That’s why they would either die or be very very ill.

Let’s turn that back: why would you minimise the risk? Cos you know someone who knows someone who was younger than my parents and PIL and were ok? I’d rather look at the stats than take hearsay as my rationale. And the stats are shit for the people I love.

@birdsnotbees

Hardly, Willsantabecomingtotown. Late 80s, clinically vulnerable, told to shield. That’s why they would either die or be very very ill.

Let’s turn that back: why would you minimise the risk? Cos you know someone who knows someone who was younger than my parents and PIL and were ok? I’d rather look at the stats than take hearsay as my rationale. And the stats are shit for the people I love.

Precisely this. Obviously not every over 70 year old dies but a lot have and I wouldn't want to be responsible for one death if I could reasonably prevent it.

The point is that @birdsnotbees said ‘if they catch it they will die’. Absolutely no one knows that.

Partly true. MIL is v v high risk, but I don’t particularly like spending time with her anyway. DH not overly bothered about seeing her. It’s partly an excuse partly that we don’t want to be the ones to kill her off and we know she’s not be careful when we are so also she is a risk to us.

Some people might die but most will not.
Saying they will die is misleading

It’s not just about mortality. COVID at any age is no joke. Risk of strokes, blood clots, plus the risk of long COVID. Yes you can have it mildly or be lucky and asymptomatic, but that doesn’t guarantee any one you pass it to will be as lucky

@birdsnotbees

Hardly, Willsantabecomingtotown. Late 80s, clinically vulnerable, told to shield. That’s why they would either die or be very very ill.

Let’s turn that back: why would you minimise the risk? Cos you know someone who knows someone who was younger than my parents and PIL and were ok? I’d rather look at the stats than take hearsay as my rationale. And the stats are shit for the people I love.

No- they won't necessarily- lots of ECV 80 year olds have had covid mildly. They may well have mild covid.

Aren’t you a charmer OP - read the room. Not everyone hates their in-laws. Some have list some this year due to Covid and some have not seen them for nine months (more if they live abroad ) Yep I get that there are those (me included) who hate the obligations and faff that come with the festive season but have some compassion for those who are struggling, grieving and finding this hard (children and parents) Don’t make this into another shite in-laws thread

@AlwaysBehindTheCurve Your grandmother is an exception to the rule-my child with cerebral palsy and a history of oxygen dependence for 3 years is an entirely different scenario. You are oversimplifying things

I’m visiting an elderly aunt as otherwise we would both be completely alone for Christmas but I have the option of isolating before I go (full time WFH) and I’m willing to accept the risk she passes it to me (since I’m fairly sure she hasn’t been properly following the rules). If I didn’t go her disabilities mean she can’t cook and would at best be having a microwave meal if not cold sandwiches and that’s not taking into account the emotional effect of sitting home alone at Christmas.

I will fill my car with petrol before I isolate and she lives close enough for me to drive straight there and straight back on one tank.

I’m still trying to decide if I should stay with her or if I’d be better in a hotel. I’m somewhat worried how many visitors might end up ‘just popping in for a minute’ which isn’t really breaking the rules (/s).

I think you may have a point for some people. My PIL said they aren't going to see anyone over Christmas due to covid. My DH has decided that we can't see my parents as 'it wouldn't be fair on PIL', despite it being their decision not to see anyone. I actually think it's that DH can't be arsed to see my parents. Luckily my parents don't care about Christmas, so don't mind.

I mean, over 60,000 people have died of the virus in the UK in the last 8/9 months so it's not that much of a stretch to imagine that some of us genuinely don't want to unintentionally pass it on to others.

I'm not seeing my own parents either though. So it's not about not liking mil (I genuinely don't like fil, but we never see him anyway). It's about wanting to avoid infecting her with a virus that is a lot more dangerous for her than it is for me. Exactly the same reason I'm not seeing my parents.

Just because something is allowed doesn't mean it's always a good idea. The five days we're allowed to mix aren't at the right time. I want to be able to isolate for 10-14 days before seeing elderly relatives (my parents/mil are all mid 70s with extra health conditions), and that's not possible before those 5 days. I WILL be seeing them all in the first weekend of the new year, because at that stage i will be less of a risk to them after 2 weeks away from school (I and a secondary teacher, dd1 is at uni but has come home this weekend, dd2 is at a different school to mine).

I absolutely hate my inlaws and will do anything to avoid seeing them. This year has been bliss, we haven’t seen them since February! Of course bloody Boris had to ruin it by saying we’re technically allowed to see them at Christmas, so I’ve had to make up some bullshit about being afraid of Covid and suffering with my mental health in order to get out of seeing them.

I see too much of mine. She is widowed and we are her support bubble. My mother on the other hand has decided that my brother and his family are in a childcare and support bubble with her and doesn’t see us at all.

In your terms, OP, I am 'making a fuss about Covid' although I will bee visiting relatives at Christmas.
But we have agonised over whether this is a sensible risk or not and how to minimise the risks involved. Apart from a few medical appointments, we will all be isolating for the fortnight before we meet, so hair appointments cancelled, those in Tier 2 are not seeing other reelatives in the run-up, I have worked extra days so that I can WFH, all Christmas prep must be done by 9 November etc.
Even then, we are not staying with the elderly relatives but have hired somewhere where we can still socially distance most of the time when they are there. Covid is too serious a risk for us to risk it all after all the isolation this year, so we are 'making a fuss' because they do want to see us and we want to see them.

I’m seeing my in laws and not my parents. My parents are much less hard work (acknowledged by dp) but live further away and we think the roads will be hell so it is what it is.

Not at all the case for us or anyone I know. I adore my parents and several other older relatives - I haven’t hugged them or seen them at anything more than a few metres away, outdoors since March and it breaks my heart.

I’ve got kids, who will have broken up from school on the 18th and both me and my partner work, him outside the home. Any of us could be incubating Corona come Christmas Day & not know it & spread it about. Just because the government have taken the mind blowingly stupid decision to allow people to mix I’m still not willing to play Corona Russian roulette with people I love so won’t be seeing them over Christmas.

I don’t want them to get it, I particularly don’t want them to get it on the same day as tens of thousands of people who are bafflingly taking the decision to put their relatives at risk and therefore having them end up hospitalised/dying during what will be the massive peak of the admissions in mid-January as a result of Christmas mixing.

So nope, not an excuse, a reason.

My parents are high risk. We aren’t spending Christmas with them this year, their choice.

It’s one year, and I would hate them to get Covid this close To the vaccine role out.

We are nearly there, we have nearly made it. I don’t care if I get it but I want my parents to be safe. A couple of their friends have been hospitalised with it.

I will really miss our normal family Christmas, and they will really miss the grandkids. But hopefully we will all be together next year.

I don’t want them to get it, I particularly don’t want them to get it on the same day as tens of thousands of people who are bafflingly taking the decision to put their relatives at risk and therefore having them end up hospitalised/dying during what will be the massive peak of the admissions in mid-January as a result of Christmas mixing.

This seems a very good point to me.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

It is very convenient yes!

I would love to see my 80 something MIL who lives in a different part of the UK to us.

She is desperate to see us - haven't seen her for a year now.

She's not keen for us to travel 400 miles to see her whilst teenage DC is in a school where half the year groups are isolating with Covid - or the fact that I mix with 100s of people every day. I don't think we're actually able to go anyway - we're in Tier 3 currently and she's in a part of the UK that won't let us travel from Tier 3 to hers.

Maybe difficult to understand if you're a healthy 20 something.

Who would do that?! Me

Nope, I have no in-laws to see in this country, and they don't celebrate Christmas in any case, but I'm not going to see my very much loved parents during the festive period because I don't want to put them at risk. Some of us are genuinely anxious about our vulnerable relatives, and personally, I'd rather see my mum and dad alive next Christmas than celebrate this one together.