To think The Guardian have totally lost the plot (craft this time not wokery)

[GroundAlmonds]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/dec/05/10-brilliant-homemade-christmas-gift-ideas

How will stuff stay in the bag?

How are those nine even cuts in the plate)

Why would you KNIT bunting?

What’s the triffid thing all about?

AND WHY SO COY ABOUT PROPER PHOTOS OF THE FINISHED RESULT?

I was in the mood for some Christmas crafting, but my god that is shit.

Sorry, I quite like some of them, but then I am currently crocheting a baby mobile which is a flying saucer beaming up a cow and plays the theme from the X Files so maybe I’m weird.

@SinkGirl

Sorry, I quite like some of them, but then I am currently crocheting a baby mobile which is a flying saucer beaming up a cow and plays the theme from the X Files so maybe I’m weird.

That sounds AMAZING

Here you go:
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/641431282/flying-saucer-crochet-pattern-musical?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_halloween_Craft+Supplies+and+Tools&utm_custom1=k_CjwKCAiA_Kz-BRAJEiwAhJNY7zLV9yTnWF4FP8YbgLeMMIpSxWFmRhymYXtgFNYhH71dppXgLYPaVRoCtWMQAvD_BwE_k&utm_content=go_1713595367_75506759428_333557037080_pla-295462056867_m__641431282engb_169747161&utm_custom2=1713595367

Sorry for giant link! I am obsessed with this woman’s patterns, have made loads but this has been on my list for a few years and I now have someone to make it for :)

That flying saucer is fabulous!

Using the word 'woke' pejoratively is unreasonable.

@SinkGirl

Sorry, I quite like some of them, but then I am currently crocheting a baby mobile which is a flying saucer beaming up a cow and plays the theme from the X Files so maybe I’m weird.

😂 Can’t day anything mean spirited about that, and I bet it actually WORKS.

Lalylala's patterns are always really cute. I'm not keen on amigurumi but I'm very tempted by her little Christmas tree character pattern

@VladmirsPoutine

Using the word 'woke' pejoratively is unreasonable.

I was just trying not to refer to the “trans wars”.

Those examples are fairly shit but my friend made some fab crochet bunting and I’ve just made some wreathes. I popped them on WhatsApp group and three friends have asked if I can make them one.

@VladmirsPoutine

Using the word 'woke' pejoratively is unreasonable.

True - 'the guardian' is perjorative enough

@VladmirsPoutine

Using the word 'woke' pejoratively is unreasonable.

Not when used in conjunction with "Guardian".

Show your love with a wet lump of moss.

Use of the term wokery makes you sound like Lawrence Fox. Do you have a problem with equality?

The flying saucer is the one saving grace in this thread.

Those ideas are dreadful (in the Guardian) imagine getting the moss ball thing for example, all wet and soggy, or the T shirt bag thing.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar

Lalylala's patterns are always really cute. I'm not keen on amigurumi but I'm very tempted by her little Christmas tree character pattern

I think you can just about see the little Christmas tree on the shelf with many buddies... Collection has grown since then as you can see 😬

Yeah, those t shirt market bags are quite handy but I wouldn’t make one as a gift. If I ever make gifts for people I have to make sure they’re really good as you don’t want to be that person who makes embarrassing crap.

Knitted or crocheted bunting / “paper” chains / wreaths can look really lovely but crochet bunting would be much easier than knitting.

They are shit. A paper plate basket? Bugger that. And the “wall hanging” is a bit of old pillowcase on a stick.

Away with this nonsense.

A scarf, bag, decent wreath, preserves, baked goods, etc etc are all great. This is lazy arsed rubbish.

@Hayeahnobut

Use of the term wokery makes you sound like Lawrence Fox. Do you have a problem with equality?

The flying saucer is the one saving grace in this thread.

I’m rather keen to avoid being associated with either Lawrence Fox and friends OR the “words are literal violence”crowd. Mainly because they’re both bonkers.

So I think I’ll sit happily here in the middle and use the handy shorthands of “Fascism” and “wokery” and go back to pondering crap craft projects.

Thanks for thinking of me, though.

@MorrisZapp

Show your love with a wet lump of moss.

Exactly!

I think the mossball looks quite brilliant, especially the smaller one from the main picture! A hipster alternative to a potted plant.

The no-sew bag looks awful though, cannot imagine how that would be "gift worthy" in any sort of context. Imagine opening up a present to find a bunch of tattered fabric made (presumably) from an old tshirt. If it's made from a new shirt then I'd rather have the shirt to wear.

I think we all need this right now
www.liveabout.com/nailed-it-hilarious-christmas-craft-fails-1924276

Didn't mean to derail the thread OP but it does leave a bad taste when a word which was coined specifically for a purpose is turned against said purpose.

That aside 'home-made' gifts are only acceptable from or (made) by children - that's my hill!

@SinkGirl that link is FABULOUS.

I don’t know whether my favourite it turns Betty Crocker train cake or the adverts for a bum flap onesie. 😂

It's like posh version of 5minute crafts😱

Few are nice though!

There’s so so many - Craft fails are my guilty pleasure :D

m.ranker.com/list/christmas-pinterest-fails/nathandavidson