To choose what to buy my nieces for Christmas

[Avogato]

I have two nieces. Not close to my sister (their mother) - we text very occasionally.

Out of the blue a while back (after she hadn’t responded to my text checking in with her) she sent me links to what I should buy my nieces for Christmas - the presents would have cost £70 each which I thought was really cheeky as she knows I’ve taken a pay cut this year due to covid.

I love my nieces but they are incredibly spoilt. Their mum buys them presents every time she leaves the house and there were so many presents under the tree last year the littlest one gave up opening gifts.

I made a joke of the price of the present my sister had linked me. She accepted I was reluctant to spend that much so has now asked me to buy what is essentially a stuffed toy for £30 per child. I don’t even think the eldest will be bothered about it.

I like choosing gifts for them myself and like to pick something I think they might like. AIBU to just go ahead and buy what I want to choose and spend and ignore my sisters instructions?

@Santaisironingwrappingpaper

Yabu to do more than smile at the text. I am sure you know your dns enough to choose your own gifts.

This tickled me. My utterly lovely DAunt sent me for Xmas, the year I was 14...a colour-in table mat with a big teddy on it. We hadn’t seen her for 18 months and she’d forgotten our ages (she was 15 years older than DDad). We saw them that year and the next year I got a lovely little evening bag.

@Santaisironingwrappingpaper

Yabu to do more than smile at the text. I am sure you know your dns enough to choose your own gifts.

Sometimes...family does not know better.

My Nan bought dd when she was 4, a hair dressers styling head that had a age rating of 8+

It had lots of little bits and it was extremely cheaply made.

We discreetly removed that when she was distracted

@Macncheeseballs

I always buy what I want, and I dont like people asking what me what they should buy, they should just use their imagination!

Good for you , I’d rather not waste my money buying something that a child a) doesn’t like so doesn’t use or b) has got already so doesn’t need another one .

Same here Floralnomad

I tell My sister The budget I’ve set aside for her kids and ask if she has any ideas, if not I either choose or give money.

@Macncheeseballs

I always buy what I want, and I dont like people asking what me what they should buy, they should just use their imagination!

So basically you never buy anyone anything they actually want, just what you think they should receive.

You’re wasting your money; you shouldn’t bother.

Boy am I glad I no longer buy christmas gifts or celebrate it. Far too much stress.

It's a mixture, isn't it? If you already have specific ideas, then you could say "I wondered about X or Y for eldest DN this year - do they already have that, or is there something else they're into?" Tastes change and can be unpredictable.

We all want kids to open gifts they love - but I'm sure we all had some oddities as kids ourselves and it's not a bad lesson in manners to say thank you graciously ...and maybe to try out something unexpected.

Agree muttering.

Also unless families have lots of ££ I do think money is the perfect gift I can really do.

unless families have lots of ££ I do think money is the perfect gift I can really do.

Hate this attitude so much. Christmas isnt about collecting up cash from relatives and using it to buy what you want

Children need to learn to be gracious gift receivers and givers. I do think it's a good idea to chat to their parents to make sure you aren't buying duplicates or getting something they really will have no use at all for. However that notwithstanding that should still leave you plenty of scope to choose something yourself OP. A well brought up child will find some fun in a wide range of toys, games, books and craft materials. You dont need to be told to buy a specific favourite item.

When my nieces were young I used to buy presents but think I had a fair idea of what they would like. Now they get vouchers ( and I know people don't like it but Amazon because one is abroad ) They love vouchers now. My son used to love presents but as he got older a cheque ( even for the smallest amount ) was brilliant because if he was saving up for something he could squirrel it away for that)

I know this does not suit everyone & I know a cheque or £5 or £10 in a card doesn't feel like a present & there is the thing about - this is how much I have spent ) but honestly my son as he got older just loved having a bit of money or a voucher so he could spend January deciding what to put it towards or what he wanted to buy or indeed - he had a savings account & he loved putting it in there. I don't think this counted as collecting cash from relatives @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland A cheque was unusual. Better than the books vaguely related to something he was interested but didn't hit the mark for example. Where I do agree with you @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland is that young people need to be gracious whatever they get and show gratitude if someone has made the effort to buy them a present. Nowadays if I do buy presents for elder niece I make pretty sure it is something she will use / want.