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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would it just come across totally dickish...

45 replies

FurrySlipperBoots · 05/12/2020 00:01

to (gently) point out to someone I don't even know that his daughter's condition is spelled 'cerebral palsy' not 'Ceribol paulsey' as he consistently writes it?

As I say I don't know the guy, it's just a randomer online, and I really don't want to risk hurting him, but it seems wrong to just let him blunder on in misapprehension - it's going to be a huge part of his life forever more after all.

His daughter is already 3, if that makes a difference.

YABU - unnecessary, it would just come across really toxic!

YANBU - it would be a kindness to tactfully set him straight

OP posts:

LouiseTrees · 05/12/2020 00:05

Could you not just reply under his comment and restate the name of the condition? And maybe also point him towards guidance on it. Like “ Cerebral palsy is such a difficult condition for kids and adults alike to deal with. Did the doctors tell you about ( insert name of charity or article)? Thought you might be interested in this link.

Diverseduvet · 05/12/2020 00:07

Just use the correct spelling in a sentence of your own?

baumwolle · 05/12/2020 00:08

I'm sure he's received enough medical letters in his life to have seen the correct spelling tbh

AlCalavicci · 05/12/2020 00:22

I would send him a link to either a website or perhaps more helpful see if there family support group that would be useful to him and his whole family.
He will see the correct way to spell it without been made to feel foolish

miserableannie · 05/12/2020 00:28

Whats dickish is he doesn't know how to spell his daughters condition in the first place. I would have to tell him

Groovinpeanut · 05/12/2020 00:29

I should imagine living with a child who suffers from cerebral palsy he's more than aware of all the ins and outs of the condition.
The fact that he spells it incorrectly is not really important. People know exactly what he's talking about.
Why people feel the need to constantly pick over spellings or grammar I don't know.
If what he writes annoys you, just don't read it.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/12/2020 00:34

Yes, what he needs is a stranger coming on to correct his spelling rather than offering support, guidance or silence.

At most I'd do as others suggested and retype it in a KIND response.

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2020 00:36

You haven't given this much thought have you OP?

As others have said, the obvious thing to do is to comment and spell it correctly.

Yes, deliberately correcting him would be a dick move.

Whats dickish is he doesn't know how to spell his daughters condition in the first place. I would have to tell him

That's absolute bollocks.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/12/2020 00:38

@miserableannie

Whats dickish is he doesn't know how to spell his daughters condition in the first place. I would have to tell him

So you think his grasp of spelling / English skills affects how well he can care for good child, assuming he's able to read anything medical necessary?

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 05/12/2020 00:40

I would assume he might have issues with spelling or with letters himself, and his level of literacy is irrelevant to how good a job he does supporting his child. If you just do something, then do as PPS said by mentioning the word in passing a comment. To call him out on not speaking it right would make you a dick.

And to the PP: I would never assume someone is a bad parent because they have issues with spelling or literacy, what a horrible thing to say.

WoahBodyforrrm · 05/12/2020 00:45

I never understand these threads. Do people never stop to consider someone may have dyslexia which would account for incorrect spellings.

As a mum of a 13 year old boy and with a husband with dyslexia, I can assure you there is no need to inform them when they've spelt something wrong. You can guarantee they already know and feel embarrassed about it as it is.

If it really bothers you that much, as others have said reply using the correct spelling and offering some kind words or advice.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/12/2020 00:54

Nope Woah cos people like to assert their superiority. It's very important we put down people who are inferior to us in some way so that they can one day be as awesome as us

Twigletfairy · 05/12/2020 01:01

How is it dickish to spell something incorrectly?

I wouldn't point it out, its obvious what he means. I agree with the pp who suggested using the correct spelling in a supportive sentence

bloodyhairy · 05/12/2020 01:01

Holy shit! I love spelling and grammar, but you would be a total wanker to point this out.

trixiebelden77 · 05/12/2020 06:25

Yes it would make you an absolute dick.

He’ll realise eventually. He has years of being his daughter’s advocate with what seems to be a low level of health literacy ahead of him.

Sargass0 · 05/12/2020 06:39

YABU - unnecessary, it would just come across really toxic!

and very dickish

TheSilentStars · 05/12/2020 06:41

Go for it OP.
Maybe in turn he'll correct your own less than perfect SPaG.

christmastime4120 · 05/12/2020 06:49

Maybe he could have learning difficulties or dyslexia? Maybe you could do it in a subtle way in a comment using the correct spelling?

I remember once a friend of mine was talking about her sons dyslexia on her social media. The irony is she couldn’t spell dyslexia. I think she spelt it something like deslesia.

bananabob · 05/12/2020 07:00

You and probably everyone who reads it will know what he means so there's not really any need to correct it 🤷🏻‍♀️ and he's probably seen it written down before so replying just to use the correct spelling is pretty pointless too.

greenspacesoverthere · 05/12/2020 07:03

YANBU - it would be a kindness to tactfully set him straight

This - but kindly. So ....as PPs have said ....repeat the words, spelled correctly, in reply posts to him

If he has dyslexia he will already know he's a poor speller

Beautiful3 · 05/12/2020 07:06

Of course that's rude. He may have a learning disability, or english might not be his first language.

rainkeepsfallingdown · 05/12/2020 07:16

If he can't spell it, he's going to have difficulties Googling it, but that's maybe no bad thing. It means he's more likely to be kept informed by the doctors than Dr Google.

I would use the correct spelling in replies, but I wouldn't point it out. It's not as if he's got a letter or two incorrect - the way he's written it, he must have some sort of difficulty with all words.

DarkDarkNight · 05/12/2020 07:17

I would never point it out as such, but use the correct spelling. Maybe even a link to a charity or something so he doesn’t just assume you’ve spelt it wrong.

BullshitVivienne · 05/12/2020 07:18

Threads like this make me realise that many people have no idea how dyslexia manifests.

TeachesOfPeaches · 05/12/2020 07:21

He has probably googled the condition a thousand times so no I wouldn't point it out.

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