Lazy presents?

[Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady]

Inspired by another thread.

What do you count as lazy presents? Or "I can't be arsed to think of anything good to get you" presents

For me its:
Candles
Bath stuff
Hand cream
Alcohol

My OH buys his dad a bottle of red wine most Christmases. I mean you've known the man your entire life and you can't think of anything a bit more personal?!

Well I love candles and alcohol so I hope someone gets me some.

Trying to think of some non lazy presents for MIL as she has everything she needs and as usual we have no idea (DH is lazier than me and just says "I'll get her wine")

• Hand cream is 100% lazy - I don't know anyone under the age of 50 who uses it - I'm a few decades off that age and always end up chucking it away

• Alcohol - hate buying it for anyone (as well as receiving). My DH is the same in that he always get his dad a bottle compared to my dad where I get personalised gifts.

• Cash. Just gets frittered away at the shops and don't actually spend it on anything in particular

• vouchers - not a fan of giving them unless it's for a specific company and they are saving for something in particular.

@Lelophants

Lazy or just really nice and useful?

I hate the fact people actually get offended by gifts that aren't personal ans perfect enough.

Yep.

Flowers, chocolates, booze. Timeless, useful gifts. Low maintenance.

Our worst ever presents have been when someone has tried to think up the 'perfect present' for us but has just slightly missed the mark - often something hobby based which, if we'd wanted it, we would already have bought it. Or something sentimental which is nice to receive but has no actual use and just gets stuck in a cupboard.

Bring on the lazy presents which at least get used .

I think "personal" presents are far more about the giver than the recipient. The giver gets to feel all pleased with themselves over the amount of effort they've put in.

Exactly how I feel. This also applies to home baking and home made preserves.

I love getting nice hand cream, candles and smellies for Christmas because I usually can't justify buying those things for myself. My parents also get me an Amazon voucher every year so I can choose something for myself. It's bloody great.

@phoenixrosehere

Alcohol is not a lazy present. Who would ever think a fee bottle of plonk was lazy?!

It is if you don’t drink alcohol in the first place and the giver has known you for years.

How do your 'friends' not know that 🙄

@MirandaMarple friends know that. Some friends don't care or bother to consider it. Which is why it would be lazy. Just like any other gift like that.

Hand cream is 100% lazy - I don't know anyone under the age of 50 who uses it - I'm a few decades off that age and always end up chucking it away

You obviously don’t know any nurses then. My stepdaughter is an ITU nurse (28). You can’t give her enough.

@BecomeStronger

I think "personal" presents are far more about the giver than the recipient. The giver gets to feel all pleased with themselves over the amount of effort they've put in and the hit rate is low.

Personally (see what I did there? ) I'd far rather have something they know I'd use, like wine or hand cream.

100% agree with this! For me, alcohol is always great as are candles (decent ones though), and I absolutely LOVE vouchers! Would far rather have the above any day than a 'thoughtful' present. I am aware how bloody ungrateful this sounds!

Those things are practical and nice and stuff people tend to use, so not wasteful.

Totally agree. Also, these days people usually buy what they want for themselves so it's more difficult to come up with an unusual gift, and as people get older they want less "stuff" so something practical is a far better gift. People sometimes buy me costume jewellery, but I really don't wear it - I wear the same bangle and necklaces every day - so it just sits in a drawer. A pair of socks would be more welcome, as I would wear them!

@tobedtoMNandfart

Amazon gift vouchers 🤣

God I wish everyone would get me amazon gift vouchers!

I think the things on your list OP could be considered lazy presents if they're just generic, picked up off a random shelf type ones. But if some thought has gone into any of them to match them to the recipient's tastes then they can be extremely thoughtful. For example years ago I found a candle on holiday in Scotland and absolutely loved the scent. I then tried to find it again for years after and never had any luck. My DH knew how much I loved it so set out to find it for me secretly. He managed to track one down and although it was only a £10 candle it meant so much as it was so personal.

Toiletries unless it’s my favourite perfume are probably worst and usually get re gifted
Food next I’m gluten free and on a diet so prefer to choose my own treats
Alcohol always welcome unless it’s from X who always buys me tia Maria, Malibu, baileys or jagermeister all of which I hate!

I'm in the 'no gift' camp too. I feel terribly guilty that someone has stood in a queue and paid money for something which I really don't like/will not use. There's also that disappointment on unwrapping something which I just can't use - to me it says the giver really didn't put any thought in.

I know this is really ungrateful of me so decided the best thing would be to stop gift receiving and giving altogether. If someone is insistent then a slab of nice chocolate or some kind of charity gift is fine with me. I was given a latrine for girls and women in India once, it was good to know that some people could now pee in peace. I was given a gibbon sponsorship too, which I've kept up. That was probably the most thoughtful gift I've ever had.

@Twillow

Candles Bath stuff Hand cream Alcohol

Any of the above can be ok if they're better versions of what you might buy yourself. If they're supermarket/pound shop ones then not just lazy but offensive and destined directly for the charity shop.

I assume that you and all your family and friends are high earners with plenty of time on your hands if you find something bought in a Supermarket to be 'offensive'

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady

Perhaps it because I only buy presents for my immediate family? So I know what they like, and I come up with good ideas that are well received.

For example a few years ago I bought my dad an engraved leather notebook for him to write his memoirs in, and he did and gave it back to me completed as a surprise for my last birthday. To me that is a thoughtful and not lazy gift.

Perhaps if I had a lot of aunties, grandmas etc to buy for I would buy candles, hand cream etc as that would be more appropriate 🤷‍♀️

But see, if I'd bought my dad a bottle of wine he would have drink it. A leather bound notebook would have been left sitting with all the other 'thoughtful' presents i tried to get for him Found sitting in a cupboard when we cleared out the house after he passed . The wine was always enjoyed .

I love all of the gifts listed, esp hand cream. I work in a hospital and we still talk about the day Waitrose delivered a huge box of hand creams to our ward.

My top presents are flowers or potted plants. Also love love love bath stuff in a scent they know I love. Another top present. Alcohol is fine.

My lazy present is a book. I love reading so people get me A Book. I am really fussy about what I read so if it made the Booker longlist five years ago and is now discounted I've either already read it or never intend to.

I love all of those things. So do my friends.

I detest the smugness that goes with supposedly ‘thoughtful’ gifts as well.

I have an aunt who professes to be easy to buy for but complains about every single gift she’s given.

Champagne... but the recipients never complain.

I think if you don’t know someone well enough to know their taste then I’d query why you’re buying them a present in the first place. Just agree for the sake of the planet not to do it. If the person is a nurse and you know they use buckets of hand cream then obviously hand cream is a welcome gift. I personally would not want to receive the majority of toiletry gift sets in Boots. I would quite like a posh bar of soap or lip balm though. I would also love a book token / Amazon voucher. One of the most random presents I ever got were heavy tasseled curtain tie backs despite living in a flat with only blinds. It was one of a long list of random gifts received over the years which reflected the taste of the person giving and not me.

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady

Inspired by another thread.

What do you count as lazy presents? Or "I can't be arsed to think of anything good to get you" presents

For me its:
Candles
Bath stuff
Hand cream
Alcohol

My OH buys his dad a bottle of red wine most Christmases. I mean you've known the man your entire life and you can't think of anything a bit more personal?!

My dad and DH love red wine

I source it from their favourite vineyard in California- only 2 Uk stockists and regularly unavailable

Lazy? I don't think so

I only gift nieces and nephews who are under 21.

Family together decided years ago to forget about presents for adults and just enjoy the presence instead.

So it is super lazy now. Cash in a card. Done!

My DD and her friends in their twenties all use hand cream. Especially now when you have to sanitise every five minutes.

I hate this judgement of how much "thought" you have put in. No-one knows if you have agonized for hours, done as much research as you can, stealthily gleaned info from friends and family and still not quite got it right.

And the more thought the worse the recipient feels if they have got it wrong

I have received so many of this type of present myself:
--> the perfume that I used to love but was just waiting to use up so I could buy a different one, We knew it was your favourite and that you were running out .

--> the calendar with pictures of flowers I love, (but I have nowhere that I would stick a calendar - I use my phone and a desk diary)

--> gorgeous earrings - just my style BUT containing nickle to which I am horribly allergic (but how would they know?)

--> a lovely pair of Ugg slippers - perfect ( but everso slightly too tight and so never worn) We checked the size of your shoes in the cupboard

Please, just don't. A bottle of wone is fine.

Apart from hand cream (very particular) I'd love all of the 'lazy' list. Especially the candles.

I gave my Dad a v-neck blue jumper every year for years - because that's what he wanted. It became unspoken. You may have a case of this in your oh and his dad.

It's one of those 'not everyone is like you' shockers, OP