Lazy presents?

[Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady]

Inspired by another thread.

What do you count as lazy presents? Or "I can't be arsed to think of anything good to get you" presents

For me its:
Candles
Bath stuff
Hand cream
Alcohol

My OH buys his dad a bottle of red wine most Christmases. I mean you've known the man your entire life and you can't think of anything a bit more personal?!

Wine because I don't drink it. Especially red wine.

But, that's a lazy gift to give me personally, not in general.

I love bath stuff and I don't mind candles.

@HeeeeyDuggee

My boss used to buy me the most lovely (expensive red wine) for birthday and Christmas was such a treat! I’d also get him nice red for his birthday and Xmas. Not lazy just two people who appreciate a good full bodied red 😁

My SIL buys me and my DH crappy mugs every year despite the fact birthed of us drink hot drinks so don’t use mugs 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s what I call lazy

This.

What is lazy is buying someone something that you know(or should know) they don't use or like,regardless of what it is.

I have such a problem with gift giving. I prefer people to give me a list. Otherwise there is so much pressure to be seen to have gone to enough trouble.
It bothers me spending cash on things that if other people wanted, they'd have already

I dont think there are lazy presents and I csnt stand people who expect thoughtful, personalised gifts every year. I buy for 25 people, some of those are getting wine and smellies.

I don’t think alcohol is a lazy gift if you know it’s the receivers favourite. My Mum’s husband is a whiskey lover and he’s also in the alcohol sales business so he knows his stuff. We know which brand he loves so buy him a bottle every Christmas, it isn’t cheap and we know he’ll enjoy it. My Mum absolutely loves candles as well so again, don’t think that’s lazy if you know the person is a fan.

I think lazy gifts are ones you just buy without really considering whether the person will actually like it or not. I’d never buy my Mum chocolate for example because I know she doesn’t like it but she buys me Lindt every Christmas and I’m happy with that.

For the most part

Anything 3 for 3
Candles
Scarves
Alcohol
Chocolate

Obviously it’s different if they have been requested by the person as they like a certain brand etc.

A gift should be something a person would want and enjoy. Not an essential or something they can buy on their weekly shopping.

Thing is, OP, all the really personal stuff is very hard to get right, and I like to choose the specifics myself usually.

Clothes - MIL has got this wrong numerous times.
House stuff - I like to pick my own.
Jewellery - ditto.

And as for the slew of "personalised" items, they're about as generic as you can get these days. You can hardly move in our house without spotting something with our initials or wedding anniversary date on.

So bring on the alcohol etc! Though I've personally asked for fancy flavoured oils for salads this year.

What do you mean by personal? If it’s a personalised cushion/spoon/doormat... then I’d prefer to buy something that is definitely my taste.

Personally, I like all the things you listed and don’t consider them lazy gifts. They’re a safe present because if you don’t know someone, you can get them one of those and they will probably like it. If they don’t, they can pass it on relatively easily (as opposed to the personalised scrabble tiles of the household’s names). A safe choice doesn’t mean lazy and people can enjoy reviving those gifts. One of the best things for me is an amazon voucher because I can save it for something I want to buy later in the year (this year’s amazon vouchers are going towards a PS5) or I can just buy books to my heart’s content. If someone wants to pair that amazon voucher with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates, that’s a pretty nice present for me.

Candles
Bath stuff
Hand cream
Alcohol

Any of the above can be ok if they're better versions of what you might buy yourself. If they're supermarket/pound shop ones then not just lazy but offensive and destined directly for the charity shop.

A few years ago i let it be known that for eco/declutter/financial reasons that i did not wish to be blessed with any gifts. In truth it was because i have too many family and friends in the lazy gift brigade.
This may make me seem ungrateful but a few have embraced the chance to do the same and have told me it's a bit of a relief to not have to think about gifts.

@thecatsthecats I asked for fancy flavoured oils this year too! We usually grab some from the Christmas markets and with them all being cancelled this year aren’t picking any up. I thought it would be a change to all the alcohol and chocolate gifts our parents send us. None of them were interested in straying from the tried and tested alcohol and chocolate gifts. So it looks like we’ll be buying our own. (We won’t be seeing our families on Christmas so all gifts have been sent already, we’ve opened them because our mums have also sent advent calendars and just because gifts, so we’ve opened the packages to worn out which things are for now and which are for Christmas).

I think it depends on the wine. I get my dad red wine every year - but a bottle he wouldn’t treat himself too.
Cloudy Bay and Veuve Clicquot are always on my wish list as they’re not something I’d buy on a weekly basis.

Same with candles - if I had a Decleor or Neom one, great. Not so much a Yankee Candle one.

If they're supermarket/pound shop ones then not just lazy but offensive and destined directly for the charity shop.

Offensive? That is a shocking thing to say about a present that someone has got you. I get given supermarket stuff and I certainly don’t find them offensive or give them to a charity stuff. I’m glad someone has thought about me. I don’t care what the present is.

Does the DH's wine get enjoyed?

Personal presents are hit and miss even if the giver/gifter thinks they've done a good job. A candle with the fragrance that the recipient loves is personal. A generic candle that the giver loves is less so but I always try to appreciate whatever presents I receive. If people are short on time then generic presents are far more acceptable.

People often buy gifts they themselves would love but are not to other's tastes. Some people are difficult and have everything they want.

Lazy presents for me are things that I think are totally unsuitable and that the gift giver should know this if they know we at all. I was a vegan for years and was given a BBQ meat shredding claws, meat thermometer set and meat seasoning set. Flowers for someone with bad allergies. Nut Baklavas for someone allergic to nuts.

Sadly i've found presents i've put lots of thought into and am sure are perfect seem to have the same success rate as just buying more generic gifts. I dont buy candles for people who say they hate candles or bath stuff for people without a bath. But knowing someone drinks wine and buying them wine seems as succesful as spotting some rare print by an artist similar to one they admired on a day trip once. Sometimes i have found just the perfect thing and its gone down badly.
I also quite like a generic gift. Particukarly if its something that gets used up and doesnt clutter my house.

Alcohol is not a lazy present. Who would ever think a fee bottle of plonk was lazy?!

I can't use scented soaps as I come up in hives. I like a bath set as long as it doesn't include soap bars and many don't.I also like fancy hand creams as I am constantly washing hands and using hand gel as I work with the public. I don't drink so alcohol would get gifted to neighbours and I dislike candles as the strong scents often trigger a headache.

It really depends on the person.

My OH buys his dad a bottle of red wine most Christmases. I mean you've known the man your entire life and you can't think of anything a bit more personal?!

DH is thrilled with a bottle of wine from his children. They’ve known him all their lives and they know that he loves a decent bottle of red. Or some cheese.

Perhaps it because I only buy presents for my immediate family? So I know what they like, and I come up with good ideas that are well received.

For example a few years ago I bought my dad an engraved leather notebook for him to write his memoirs in, and he did and gave it back to me completed as a surprise for my last birthday. To me that is a thoughtful and not lazy gift.

Perhaps if I had a lot of aunties, grandmas etc to buy for I would buy candles, hand cream etc as that would be more appropriate 🤷‍♀️

All my Mum wanted was alcohol. So does my youngest. We've stopped doing adult presents because of the 'personal' clutter some members were buying. I'd much rather have food or drink. Or even my usual bodyshop handcream which would free up money. My skincare is too expensive to ask for. So I'm grateful for a bottle of something.

Someone mentioned scarves. My Sister's favourite present was a beautiful woolen scarf my DD got her from Edinburgh.

On the whole it's best to stop gifts for adults. It all becomes a bit pointless.

Such a smug post! To get a personal gift right you need to know exactly what someone wants...which probably means asking them, which is also kind of lazy as they have to do the thinking for you. If you don't, they're maybe just being polite to you!! And might have preferred that bottle of wine after all.

So I know what they like, and I come up with good ideas that are well received.
Good for you. don't think I've ever been confident that I've bought someone something they really love. I don't have the knack for it, not even for myself so I probably have bought a ton of shit gifts over the years.

I would rather alcohol than most of what I get given!

Everyone thinks they are thoughtful givers - and most people who receive presents don't think "thought" has been put into it.

If anyone knows me the most thoughtful present for me would be no present at all. (The dread of reciprocity).

The second most thoughtful would be something I could actually use so most of the things on the OP's list would suffice.

Toiletry sets, especially if it’s not a brand you use!