To never let my ex have my dog ever again?

[RaggedyDoll1]

Long story short ex and I split two years ish ago and ex never bothered about the dog.
I moved back in with ex briefly to get on my feet to buy a house (ex was living in a house rented from me at the time, I wasn't living off ex, my own properly if relevant).

Suddenly wants to have dog for 3 weeks I said no,a week max.

Last week ex arranged for their colleague to collect dog from me and I let it happen.

For last two days ex has ignored my calls and messages asking how dog is.
I ring exs housemate (mutual friend) last night and ex isnt there. The story I was given is, that exs new partner has been staying for a few days and has broken her glasses..in order to get some more glasses, has had them delivered to her house which is in Scotland, a two hour drive from where ex lives. So she has had to go and collect them and taken ex with her.

I have 3 issues with this.

1. I specifically said not to leave dog with housemate. Ex knows I dont like that and didnt when I lived with them
2. I dont like that ex doesnt answer my msgs as ex knows I'd be anxious at this situation.
3. ex was very abusive to me when we were together and I believe 2)is just a form of control. One msg back would be fine, I've only sent more (hours apart,I havent been pestering) because I didnt get a reply.

Also I know the glasses thing is a lie!
Who the feck would drive a 2 hr journey in this situation?! Why not just buy some cheap ones for now or get them delivered to ex's house?
And how stupid do they think I am.. if girlfriend needs glasses that badly how is she driving in the dark for two hours while unable to see (Ex cant drive)??

I know not everyone likes dogs and I may sound precious. Fwiw I've had ddog since birth however (he was an reject) and am very attached plus I was very depressed when ex left and honestly do not know where I'd have been without ddog at times.

Wibu to veto any dog 'visitations' in future?

I dont dislike him per se, he just doesn't like dogs and doesnt have to but I dont think it is fair on either of them to leave dog with him.

I don't think taking the dog will be an issue in the future with the stress on both sides.
Say no it is not happening again end of.

Poor dog. Next time don’t listen to your dad. What I’ve learnt is that parents can often be right. But for important things like this they can be wrong as they are not directly impacted.

It most definitely is not happening again. I'm so annoyed with myself

Ah don’t beat yourself up. Give your dog a big hug in the morning...

I think you need to have it in your mind that she needs to move on from your property as soon as legally possible. You need a clean break and it must be so hard when you are her landlord to.

Until then, make it a strictly professional relationship/contact.

Hope your dog is with you soon.

I think people presume you want her back because giving your beloved dog to someone who abused you that you don't like for absolutely no vague reason is a really weird thing to do.

wun they may not think quite so weird given we got the dog when together albeit I did the majority of the work with dog and dog was always 'mine' as I did alll the walks training vet trips etc. Ex was lazy. I felt I was doing right by ex to let her not just never see the dog again. Ex really wanted to see the dog and had been asking for ages. I didnt want to be horrible. But no, most definitely do not want ex back.
I dont see why letting ex see dog should signify I do.
Having said that,I regret doing it and can totally see why people feel I never should have let this happen.
Anyway,dog is back with me :) safe and sound. Thank you all :)

Brilliant update I'm glad Ddog is home safe and happier.

So glad Ddog is back safe and sound - it's amazing how you worry about them isn't it ?

I can't figure out why ex wanted the dog just to do this.

YABU. Poor dog. What were you thinking?!

Where'smy neither can I. I just went in and got dog and left. I've had a msg from ex telling me I'm out of order now. I've not responded.

Well done for getting your dog back. Can't understand why ex is even trying to say you're out of order. It's your dog, you let her have her as a favour ( learnt your lesson there lol) and she broke the terms of the arrangement. Blank her as far as you can, I understand you can't just block due to house situation.

I’m glad to hear your dog is back safe and sound with you.

lockup I am not sure what you mean, sorry.

I don't get it either. Ex was still in bed when I went into the house. She has said I should have woken her up to say bye (as if, when she may have still had her partner there)! I've not responded to her messages. She tried calling me at lunchtime but I was sleeping, which was lucky as I may have answered without thinking. I won't if she does again though.

@RaggedyDoll1

Where'smy neither can I. I just went in and got dog and left. I've had a msg from ex telling me I'm out of order now. I've not responded.

Bless you. Glad ddog is back.

If you have a legal tenancy agreement she is right you can't just go in without notice

So relieved you've got dear dog back. Look after each other and don't let your dog go again

I think I’d not be renewing her tenancy/giving her notice to leave. It’s too complicated for her to remain your tenant and you don’t need the hassle. Do it legally obviously but do do it ASAP. Then no contact.