Presents for nieces ££

[Sarapq2]

Hi
Asked sis in law what kids might want for Christmas , just ideas what they into now , she suggested that a £50 voucher each as then they can get what they want ?
Me and o/h discussed it and to me it's to much.
It's over a day's pay and money is going to be tight for a couple of months .
Yes we both work but this last few month had to rely on food pantry every few weeks, and a charity voucher to have cat neutered .
Am I being unreasonable about this ?

Honestly we’re well off and don’t spend that much, it’s insane. You mentioned needing to use the food pantry which I guess is like a food bank? If you need help to feed yourselves you certainly can’t afford that kind of gift. Also she’s very rude and cheeky to suggest an amount. I’d go with something small - £10 each as an absolute maximum- that can’t easily be resold,

Holly molly. We don’t ask for that amount of money for Christmas presents from anyone, (except the very wealthy grandparents and that’s because they’d buy insane expensive stuff that we won’t be used. I’m still in possession of an £800 telescope nobody used ever.)
But from people that struggle and ONLY when asked what we wanted, we usually recommend a £7 book or fancy notepad from Amazon and call it a day.
Sorry op, that’s CF right there.

How old are the nieces @Sarapq2 ?

I think that is a lot - my nieces ( x 2 - Dh's nieces ) both get a £50 voucher birthday & Christmas - Amazon - sorry - but that is split between DH & his other siblings who aren't nieces' parents so no one Aunty or Uncle is paying £50 per niece IYSWIM. It's affordable & occasionally - but not always I will send them something nice - but no precedent or expectation.

£10 or so is the usual amount for nieces and nephews on my partners side of the family.

My brother and sisters spend varying amounts on my girls. Brother and one sister £5 or under, another sisters spends around £15 and the other around £30, but she is travelling this year, so they won’t get anything from her.

I spend around £40 on my nephew (brothers son) when they visit from abroad for Christmas, once every three years or so. I like to treat him as the years in between I won’t buy for him as their postal system is shocking. I don’t mind at all that he spends very little on my girls. He spends thousands to be with us.

So yes your sister in law is being a CF. I would either get them a £10, or just buy a small gift for around that price.

I think it's really rude of her to dictate the amount. Is there any reason she asked for £50 each, as in have your previous gifts to the kids been expensive?

I would personally just take pot luck on gifts and choose something you think they would like? Or a gift voucher for a well known toy shop? You could put the gift card in a selection box as someone has suggested.

What ages are they as someone may have some good toy suggestions.

Of course that's too expensive and incredibly rude of her! I only spend £10 on mine and that's enough to buy a section box and game/book. It's a thoughtful present that they appreciate. I wouldn't ask her what they want from now on, just get what you want.

My nieces/nephews and god children get £15-£29 for birthdays and Christmas! I have 8 in total no way would I be spending £50.
Presents are thoughtful and personal though.

*£20

Gosh how rude to ask for a specific amount!! We spend roughly £20-25 on each niece and nephew and could afford more but there's just no need. That's enough to get them something nice, or if cash they just save up. £50 is a fortune!

I give my 2 teenager relatives 15.00 each plus some thing wrapped up like chocolate but dont spend more than 3.00 on that. My dc normally get about 20.00 to 30.00 back but they earn a lot more than us and always say we have 2 to buy for. I do the same amount for my friend's younger child but that's 15.00 in total. Stopped for the older kids now. Some other relations who live away there is 3 and I put 10.00 in a card each. When they lived nearer I spent less on them and actually got presents for a 5.00 or so that were in sale. It is easier to post voucher/cash now.

hi
Thanks for all the replys, makes me feel better .
We don't see them often mainly due to her treatment of me .
Money is not possible as she will keep it .

Yes s food pantry is like a good bank but you pay £2 and you don't need a referral .
I was meant to be getting a replacement ring this year ( had to have mine cut off ) it's only £30 but if she see that she will be moaning !
To be honest I think little gifts would be better as it more personal .
I love the kids don't get me wrong but when your getting demands about your gas bill splashibg out isn't possible.
The pressure is on as last year gave them vouchers and we had the comment so and so gave more !

I spend £50 at most on my niece's, the amount has grown with what I earn.

It is alot but we don't have any children ourselves, they're the only children in the family and we don't have big families to buy for.

You just need to do what you can afford. If our circumstances change then we would spend less.

£20 gift card each sounds reasonable, £50 each is taking the piss.

She sounds so absolutely awful I’m struggling to understand why you give a fuck about her thoughts on anything at all. Give the kids some thoughtful little bits and pieces and ignore any comments she makes 100%.

I’m not hard up and have never spent anything like that figure on my DN and Ns.

I cant believe she suggested £50! I've asked for vouchers instead of gifts before but I never suggest an amount, that's up to the person gifting! I think telling someone how much they ought to spend is being a CF.

Don't feel pressured into giving £50 each, that's ridiculous! If you're struggling, why don't you buy them a selection box each and offer to take them out for a game of bowling or a trip to the cinema after Christmas?

I also do not spend £50 on my neice. This year I've only spent £10 so I'll get her a selection box too probably. I usually budget about £25 but her mother suggested a present that happened to be cheaper (I asked, i dont want to waste money on something unwanted) this time and I didnt argue!

Think I might just order the cards myself today.
She has never been generous with us . It's not the money it's her attitude to it.

Well we spend at least that much on each of our nieces.

BUT

a) we can afford it

b) my sister and BIL do the same for our kids (they can also afford it)

c) they are not cheeky fuckers who demand it, they would be happy with anything

d) they are not thieving bastards who would nick cash for themselves. WTAF, your sister would steal from her own kids?! What a lowlife. The poor kids - don't give them anything she might nick (including vouchers).

I agree with previous posters here. Time for a selection box.

My friend asked me what my DC would like. I sent her a link for a airpod case at £2.99 because I'm not a CF !

Give whatever the amount you wish !

When we got our first couple of nieces the budget was about £40/50 however with the increase in nieces and nephews ( between us we have 10) the budget has decreased. We spend approx £15 on a gift, we rarely give money.

We could afford to pay more but other family members can’t so we agreed on a budget to keep it even for the children.

It is tricky when someone asks for suggestions if you don't know how much they can afford to spend but asking for a £50 voucher is just plain rude.

My sil always asks for ideas, she is fairly well off but I never like to assume, I normally tell her what they are into and suggests a couple of options ranging from around £10-£40 or tell her they will love an Amazon voucher if she is busy, but I would never suggest the amount the voucher should be.

I don't spend that much on my DC and I certainly would not spend it on a niece.

I think it is incredibly grabby. She is essentially requesting £100.

Box of chocs?

We give £10 to nieces and nephews and although not well off we havent had to rely on food bank this year.

£50 is too much.

Well op, you asked, she told you, give them £25 each and never ask again.