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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas lights

53 replies

Mumof368 · 03/12/2020 19:28

I live in a bungalow with my ds2 whos 14 he has special needs. A few days ago I put lights up was round my bungalow as ds2 loves to see them flash .but today a neighbour knocked on my door and asked if I could turn them off because she works nights and she said she cant get to sleep when she comes home but the only window I can see is her landing and bathroom.but its different when there security light keeps flashing on and off at night lighting my bedroom up.i was gobsmacked.

OP posts:
StickTheKettleOnAlice · 03/12/2020 20:10

yanbu, tell her to get a black out blind or curtains as you had to do the same to block out her search and rescue security light!

takingwhatineed · 03/12/2020 20:12

I love seeing the Christmas lights, but the flashing ones are so annoying. My next door neighbour has them in their back garden and it lights my bedroom up at night. Very annoying!

Original poster
Mumof368 · 03/12/2020 20:13

Ive just unplugged them all for now as cant reach up to change the flashing etc.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 03/12/2020 20:19

I would try to reach a compromise. If she works nights could you have them on say 4-10 and then they are off?

Original poster
Mumof368 · 03/12/2020 20:26

@Gizlotsmum

I would try to reach a compromise. If she works nights could you have them on say 4-10 and then they are off?
Yes
OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 03/12/2020 20:32

I wasn't clear about the security light - Does the neighbour have a security light that comes on at night and disturbs you, that you have asked them to adjust and that they have refused? And now they are asking you to change your lighting?

Sweettea1 · 03/12/2020 20:42

Does your son sit and watch them from the window all day if not then do they really need to be on all day? Put them in as it starts to get dark turn of when your going to bed. Neighbour isn't being unreasonable by not wanting them flashing in her room an why should she just put up with it.

Jenstar123 · 03/12/2020 20:42

@ForeverInADay because it comes across like a justification for ignoring the neighbours reasonable request when actually it’s totally irrelevant.

You can get lots of nice indoor light up/flashing decorations that I’m sure DC would love even more than outside lights.

Mrgrinch · 03/12/2020 22:23

Well if you've had them up for 3 years then they're not Christmas lights then are they? If your DS wants to look at twinkly lights then you need to facilitate that inside, cat or no cat. You can't use his special needs as an excuse of having flashing lights on all year round.

Rainbowx · 03/12/2020 22:56

3 years?? Only at xmas though op?Mine go on 4pm til 10pm no flashing lights incase of seizures! cant annoy anyone with that so all good

Mrgrinch · 03/12/2020 23:04

@Rainbowx OP said on previous page that she's had them up for 3 years. I'm not surprised she's getting complaints.

SeaSunMoon · 03/12/2020 23:08

Flashing lights are terrible for anyone, anyone with outdoor decorations and any kind of neighbours should not have flashing lights.
Have flashing inside for your son who will be able to see them.

Original poster
Mumof368 · 04/12/2020 01:58

Right ladys ive unplugged them as cant reach the bottom to stop from flashing.

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 04/12/2020 05:22

You’ve had Xmas lights up and in for 3 years solid..... nice...

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 04/12/2020 05:33

where does the up for three years continuously come from?
the second sentence of the opening post is "A few days ago I put lights up... "
presumably this is the third year OP has had Christmas lights outside.

That said, I'd just have them on from maybe 3 to 8pm - or when DS goes to bed, definitely no later than 10pm.

Butterfly44 · 04/12/2020 05:46

Are they up for your son or for other people? If for your son then have it on inside or while awake. Flashy lights are disturbing during the night to close neighbours. I'd respect the fact she works nights and can't sleep with the lights on.

Original poster
Mumof368 · 04/12/2020 07:38

They are up for my son he loves to see flashing lights at the moment on static.i did not but them to be on static alot of people have said they like them and after such a rubbish year its nice to see. im so glad she doesn't live by my daughter because she gas lights outside and is on a Xmas lights trail to raise money for an hospice irs my own home its not rented or any thing just a detached bungalow on its own.

OP posts:
VestaTilley · 04/12/2020 07:47

YABU- if they’re disturbing her they’re disturbing her. Try and move them or change the setting. Draw the curtains of an evening.

Original poster
Mumof368 · 04/12/2020 07:50

@BoomBoomsCousin

I wasn't clear about the security light - Does the neighbour have a security light that comes on at night and disturbs you, that you have asked them to adjust and that they have refused? And now they are asking you to change your lighting?
Yes I asked her about it because it lights my bedroom up and im a poor sleeper.has it is but she said oh I cant help that but it needs to be tilted down a bit more.
OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof368 · 04/12/2020 07:58

@Sweettea1

Does your son sit and watch them from the window all day if not then do they really need to be on all day? Put them in as it starts to get dark turn of when your going to bed. Neighbour isn't being unreasonable by not wanting them flashing in her room an why should she just put up with it.
Only window opposite me are her landing and bathroom.
OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof368 · 04/12/2020 08:00

@Mrgrinch

Well if you've had them up for 3 years then they're not Christmas lights then are they? If your DS wants to look at twinkly lights then you need to facilitate that inside, cat or no cat. You can't use his special needs as an excuse of having flashing lights on all year round.
I dont have them on all year round they go up on his birthday dec 1st as ive always done and come down Jan 2nd.
OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 04/12/2020 08:03

I would not be inclined to change anything for her sake if she’s been so unhelpful to you. But I do think extra bright or flashing lights can be a little un-neighbourly, so I’d be inclined to use a timed switch to keep them on between 4 and 10 or something as others have suggested for the sake of your other neighbours, who may feel to British to actually talk to you if they are bothered by them.

june2007 · 04/12/2020 08:04

They can also be distracting when driving there is a house with lots of lights on a cornor I drive past coming back from work and this peticular one is distracting.

Mrgrinch · 04/12/2020 08:21

Ive had them up since I moved here 3 years they only just moved across the road from me.no body has ever complained about them before

You said here you've had them up since you moved in OP?

Original poster
Mumof368 · 04/12/2020 08:30

@Mrgrinch

Ive had them up since I moved here 3 years they only just moved across the road from me.no body has ever complained about them before

You said here you've had them up since you moved in OP?

Not constantly just at Xmas time.
OP posts:
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