Family court AGAIN !!!

[dublingirl66]

This Man is going to drive me to despair

The lies he has sent in to the family court I can't believe it

Saw the paperwork today and he is saying I have made up information about one of the assaults - he says I told the police something different

Please someone tell me they can see through this ?!!

I told the police about many incidents not all he is now complaining I brought up an incident that I had not told police (there were around 200 incidents so he is being a right bad----) here 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

I took in a very abused lady and child, went through the bank accounts and accompanied her to court, he was a dreadful liar and she was terrified she would not be believed.

The judge totally believed her, told her husband he was a liar and awarded her and her child 75% of all the money we had identified.

It's only one case, but in my limited experience the courts see through this. 💕

Angel

What a kind thing to do !!!

@PyongyangKipperbang

I suggest you speak to your solicitor having him declared a vexatious litigant. Abusers often use court as a way to continue the abuse/control and they can be banned from bringing further cases without certain conditions.

I believe (happy to be corrected) that a court can issue a Civil Restraint Order against him so that he cannot keep bringing cases against you.

Some solicitors will not inform you of this as they get income every time you get taken to court so push it if they brush you off.

Totally agree with this when dealing with harassment. These people abuse due process. The courts are aware of this and they are astonished to find they don't have things all their own way.

So I can write back that I need extra help to be protected??

Abusers do this.

They don't answer a simple yes and no to a simple statement. Or reply with a factual 1 sentence answer.

They send reams of jargon and words thinking it makes them sound clever and will lead to reader to question everything.

It doesn't. A judge will see through manic defence of mud slinging vs a calm factual statement backed up with evidence (eg police reports)

Just don't get dragged in or respond. Often it's designed to get you wound up and responsive and defensive so they can say something like "see - it's not me blah blah"

Even if the judge throws out that one incident because he queries or denies it it won't matter. There's all the evidence and documented incidents.

@dublingirl66

He is filing pages of nonsense way after the time to be sent

And sending them in to the court

I am then asked to respond to each paragraph of absolute nonsense

Response

"See police report on x date with officer xxxxx. Paragraph one states clearly it was a report of many but not all incidences"

Rinse and repeat.

Don't get dragged into long protracted tit for tat

Ah thank you

So I have over 20 agencies with reports and evidence to back me

His point is that I am lying the whole way through and adding things

I am simply stating the truth

Thank you
Ok very good suggestions

So you get court saying

"Ex claims X incident in x date is lies. Please respond"

"See report number x with police/SW/hospital or whatever. See written evidence of injury. See police report. See witness statement from xxxxx on x date"

Just refer them to evidence.

There's always a fine line because someone can claim something is made up without actual evidence. But if you are calm and factual they'll see the abuse for themselves through his current actions.

Thank you

I don't have a report to back the assault i mentioned it was one of many
It was over a weekend and I mentioned one thing he did in my police statement and the other incident in the court statement he claims I'm not allowed to
But
My police statement says it is just some examples of the abuse and not all

@dublingirl66

So I can write back that I need extra help to be protected??

Yes.

I put at the bottom of my evidence statement

I wish to seek to be the best possible mother to my children X, Y, and Z and to promote safe and positive contact between Mr Ex and my children, whilst we move forward with parallel lives. As evidenced in my witness statements, emails, texts and other evidence

However, we have been brought back to court 6 times and each time at great stress and expense of the court and myself. Each time it has been shown that Mr Ex is using or attempting to use the court process to cause me angst, distress and financial cost -all of which is not in the children's best interests.

I would like to request that the court helps me to stop the endless ligatation, after being shown to be being abusive, finanically, mentally and emotionally -unless Mr Ex has an exceptional reason. As this is having a devastating impact of myself and my the children.

Likewise I ask the court to protect us all by awarding us protection from a court awarded non molestation order to stop the process and contact except to facilitate contact between Mr Ex and the children as per the court's direction.

They were itching to do it and did.

@itsgettingweird

So you get court saying

"Ex claims X incident in x date is lies. Please respond"

"See report number x with police/SW/hospital or whatever. See written evidence of injury. See police report. See witness statement from xxxxx on x date"

Just refer them to evidence.

There's always a fine line because someone can claim something is made up without actual evidence. But if you are calm and factual they'll see the abuse for themselves through his current actions.

I did this with every line. No emotion. Just addressing point 1. See Hospital report -appendix 1 etc.

You don't need to add anything else.

@dublingirl66

Thank you

I don't have a report to back the assault i mentioned it was one of many
It was over a weekend and I mentioned one thing he did in my police statement and the other incident in the court statement he claims I'm not allowed to
But
My police statement says it is just some examples of the abuse and not all

So refer back to see police statement appendix 1 this clearly states " the above is just an example of abuse and not a detailed itemised list" See line 12, as indicated by * on appendix 1.

@dublingirl66

Ah thank you

So I have over 20 agencies with reports and evidence to back me

His point is that I am lying the whole way through and adding things

I am simply stating the truth

Please stop and box it. Mine did this.

Tried to divorce me on the ground that I had PND and PTSD (due to his assault) and tried to divorce me on the ground I was mentally unstable.

I had GP letters x7, hospital reports x4, photo x100, texts x1000s, I just let it speak for itself.

Oh my lord thanks so very much

@Tomorrowistomorrow many many thanks

It is very useful to see this

I am sorry you went through this

Why oh why did i not run for the hills when he first hit me
If only I had been strong enough

My exh once bypassed his solicitor and wrote directly to a judge to complain I had broken something mentioned in the court order (it was an obvious error - think it said Mrs not Mr surname). He stated nothing less than a custodial sentence would do for my crime!!
He got into trouble for that and was issued a section something preventing him calling me to court again. And blasted for writing to a judge!!
He also nearly spontaneously combusted on the stand and judge at last saw through him. Tip op is allow yourself a few moments each day to vent and then box him away. Or he is ruining your present life not just your past..

Fab advise thank you so very much

Thanks to all and I am sorry to hear many of you have been through this too

We will be safe and happy one day away from this utter nonsense ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[quote dublingirl66]@Tomorrowistomorrow many many thanks

It is very useful to see this

I am sorry you went through this

Why oh why did i not run for the hills when he first hit me
If only I had been strong enough [/quote]
When you're abused it becomes easier to make life easier. Don't blame yourself for that.

My situation wasn't a partner but ds school.

He was a victim of knife crime by a pupil who had bullied him for months. They reported to me and logged it.

Then tried to claim I made it all up (because ds had a breakdown and couldn't attend school).

I just responded with "see xxxxxxxxxx for evidence to answer your query" to everything.

The more I didn't play tit for tat the more elaborate the ramblings from the school.

I came out the other side stronger. It took time but the abuse zapped my confidence enough I questioned my own sanity.

You can do this

I am so sorry xxx

Not sure how old your dc are op but my dc went nc with their df at 12 +14...

She is only three

Still so young

[quote dublingirl66]@Tomorrowistomorrow many many thanks

It is very useful to see this

I am sorry you went through this

Why oh why did i not run for the hills when he first hit me
If only I had been strong enough [/quote]
No no no.

It is not why didn't you leave. stop victim blaming.
These men are abusive and abusers. They don't show their true colours they are experts in people and abusing. Start congratulating yourself at leaving, surviving, protecting and the grey rock technique.

But respond with facts no emotion and do not allow it to control your emotions and every waking minute. Please. Box it. Today I will spend 30 minutes on this and draft a reply. Then save and then nothing else that day.

Yes so very true

Will try to do this more often xx