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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think school should deal with this

119 replies

Chickencuddle · 03/12/2020 16:59

We go to the park most days. A little girl from the reception class (who is either 4 or 5 depending on when her birthday is) is always picked up from school by her mum. She then goes to the park on her own while her mum sits at home. Her mum lives close to the park but not so close you could see.
The little girl has kind of latched onto us. Asks me to push her on the swing and plays with my ds. She is often just in a tshirt and thin hoody even though it's very cold atm. This is relevant because the last few days we have started walking back to our car and she often walks home at the same time. But the last few days the door was locked and she was knocking but no answer. So she was locked out in the cold.
Also a few times she has run off somewhere with another little boy. Her mum cant know where she is.
When she was locked out the other day she tagged along with us to pick up my dd at a different time. Her mum is often at school picking up her brother at the same time so i hoped we would see her there. She wasbt there so i informed a teacher and said i didnt want to leave her on her own. The mother eventually turned up and all fine.
I brought it up again with teacher today because she was on her own again. Teacher said I should speak to the mother about it.
Wwyd?

OP posts:

Porgy · 03/12/2020 18:09

Where on Earth do you live OP?!

My DC school do not release children under the age of ten off the grounds without an adult who is known to the school. How is the child getting home without a parent present?!

You need to ring the police next time you see the kid wandering around on their own. This is not normal!

Italiangreyhound · 03/12/2020 18:10

I would call NSPCC and anonymously ask for advice (something I have done in the past).

If they feel it is neglect, I would report this to social services. In fact to be honest I might report it either way but NSPCC might have something useful to say.

It is neglect IMHO. And sadly this mum is (IMHO) leaving her daughter in harms way potentially.

If something were to happen the mum would not be there to help/deal with it.

Social sevices are inundated at the moment (I imagine) so they might be able must to help the mum understand about looking after her child.

Well done for caring.

BoomBoomsCousin · 03/12/2020 18:10

I would contact social services and the school to let them know what happened today and to complain about the teacher. If you see the child is locked out of her home again, I would call the police on 999.

There are lots of cultures in which young children manage to be out of the home safely without adult supervision. I don't know if what has developed where you are is safe, but if a number of other children are also playing out on their own, it may be. Though I suspect it would not be considered appropriate anywhere in the UK even if it was safe. Regardless, a child not being able to locate their caregiver is a clear sign that, for that child, the situation is not safe.

The teacher gave you bad advice and ought to have acted, especially given the resources and procedures schools should already have set up for this. They have a duty of care to all students whether the issue happens in school or not. Even if there was no legal duty, they lack of concern and the buck passing by someone in the position s/he has was really poor.

Staffy1 · 03/12/2020 18:12

@Porgy

Where on Earth do you live OP?!

My DC school do not release children under the age of ten off the grounds without an adult who is known to the school. How is the child getting home without a parent present?!

You need to ring the police next time you see the kid wandering around on their own. This is not normal!

The school aren't releasing her on her own. The OP says she is always picked up from the school by her mother and then goes to the park on her own.

Rinoachicken · 03/12/2020 18:14

It doesn’t matter that she’s out of school at the time. It’s a safeguarding issue and now that the school have been made aware they DO have a duty to respond. You could ask to speak the the safeguarding lead at school, or you could email the school office (who should pass it along to the safeguarding lead), or head or deputy head.

You could also report it to children’s services. You can do this as well as reporting to school or instead of.

Rinoachicken · 03/12/2020 18:15

It remind me of the time I saw a child I didn’t know run out of her house in her school uniform, it was raining and she ran out crying with no shoes and only one sock. I noted the address and informed school who absolutely WERE interested and thanked me for reporting it. (They could identify the child from the address obv).

turkeymince · 03/12/2020 18:17

Call SS and email school.

Rinoachicken · 03/12/2020 18:18

For all you know the family are already known to SS and it may be a missing or vital piece of information that SS have never been notified of before that really helps them paint a picture of what is happening at home when the family is not being observed directly during visits, and ‘on best behaviour’.

I would rather report and it be nothing than not and something come out later

Yamashita40 · 03/12/2020 18:22

I once found two children of about 2 and 4 alone on a street. There were lots of houses they could have belonged to but none of them had doors open and even if someone was looking out for them, there was a busy road.

I didn't know what to do so I rang the Nspcc who asked me to ring the police immediately and not to leave them until the police arrived.

Please do something about the little girl. That age being in a park alone isn't appropriate even if the house is nearby. She should have an adult with her at all times.

Jusu48 · 03/12/2020 18:27

It seems the school is following procedures by handling the child over to her mother at the end of the day, I don’t see how the school is responsible for what happens when the child is in the care of a parent. If I knew this was happening I would definitely report it, the sooner the better, after all you have actually seen what is happening.

keeprocking · 03/12/2020 18:31

@SoupDragon

As the school aren't interested, I would report it to whoever you're meant to report this kind of thing to - social services?

It's nota case that the school is not interested, they cannot take on the responsibility for 24 hour care of their pupils, that's what parents are for, if someone is so concerned then thencorrect place is Social Services or the Police.

Rinoachicken · 03/12/2020 18:33

They do have a statutory duty to report incidents that are disclosed to them though, regardless of when/where they occur.

Alexa1990 · 03/12/2020 18:34

Please report this to someone other than school - social services. It’s not safe or ok to leave a 4 or 5 year old in a park alone, or even have them wait on the doorstep cold. I’m pretty shocked this happens- and also saddened. If the mother allows this to happen age 4 what will she be like when her daughter is 8.

You’re not in the wrong for reporting, you’re potentially helping a lonely, cold and possibly unloved little girl.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/12/2020 18:44

Why would you not report to social services??

SleepingStandingUp · 03/12/2020 18:45

@Chickencuddle

The little girl makes her way to the school with us and is on school grounds and she herself went and told the teacher she was without her mum and couldnt get in. I then spoke to the teacher. I have considered speaking to ss. But wondered whether talking to the school first could help. Also what do I do when I know she is locked out. Feel like I cant just leave her there.

999

Dullardmullard · 03/12/2020 18:54

Surely it’s dark at 3.20 pm is this park lite up?

Report away but you’ll find they'll write to mum and close the case with no further action, well usually they do.

Juliehooligan · 03/12/2020 18:54

You can speak to the head about this as it is a safeguarding issue like others have said. If you explain quite clearly the issues, especially at not being able to enter her house, they will take it seriously.

alphabetsoup1980 · 03/12/2020 18:56

Absolutely ring social services xxx

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 03/12/2020 19:02

It was actually the head teacher I spoke to but perhaps she was rushed and I need to email her officially. I'll ring nspcc later when kids in bed.

OP posts:

Maryann1975 · 03/12/2020 19:04

Surely it’s dark at 3.20 pm is this park lite up
I was thinking this. Op are you In the UK? Our school finishes at 3.15 at the moment and by the time we have walked home it is very nearly dark. So I would be doubly concerned about such a small child being out alone. It would be bad enough in the lighter summer months, but it seems so much worse if it’s dark.

I would be phoning our local first response team and reporting it to them. Also, I do think it is worth persevering with the school so they are aware there are issues in the child’s home life in case first response turn out to think it’s not an issue after speaking to the family.

gotyerhat · 03/12/2020 19:06

Child protection is everyone's responsibility. Phone the head and pass it on as a safeguarding concern.

itsgettingweird · 03/12/2020 19:12

@Chickencuddle

Ring NSPCC to chat and they will either action and or offer further advice.

If you find a 4/5yo who is locked out if their house call 999. Tell police you have a child who appears abandoned - she's out alone and no one is answering her home address to let her in.

StanfordPines · 03/12/2020 19:18

Yes the school should be concerned and should have reported it but safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility. Call SS yourself directly. If you do that you can tell them the situation directly rather than the information being second hand.

RightOnTheEdge · 03/12/2020 19:19

I once said to a teacher I was friends with at out school "Oh I wish Crystal's mum would take more notice of her on a morning. She's always trailing a mile behind her mum and she doesn't even check behind to make sure she's there when they cross the road"

"Crystal" was in nursery so 3/4 and the teacher took it very seriously and got me to fill in a form describing what I'd seen.
So I'm very sure they would have taken action about a pupil being on their own and locked out of the house.

Joeblack066 · 03/12/2020 19:28

Call the local authority and ask fir the Safeguarding team. They’ll handle it.

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