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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school should deal with this

119 replies

Chickencuddle · 03/12/2020 16:59

We go to the park most days. A little girl from the reception class (who is either 4 or 5 depending on when her birthday is) is always picked up from school by her mum. She then goes to the park on her own while her mum sits at home. Her mum lives close to the park but not so close you could see.
The little girl has kind of latched onto us. Asks me to push her on the swing and plays with my ds. She is often just in a tshirt and thin hoody even though it's very cold atm. This is relevant because the last few days we have started walking back to our car and she often walks home at the same time. But the last few days the door was locked and she was knocking but no answer. So she was locked out in the cold.
Also a few times she has run off somewhere with another little boy. Her mum cant know where she is.
When she was locked out the other day she tagged along with us to pick up my dd at a different time. Her mum is often at school picking up her brother at the same time so i hoped we would see her there. She wasbt there so i informed a teacher and said i didnt want to leave her on her own. The mother eventually turned up and all fine.
I brought it up again with teacher today because she was on her own again. Teacher said I should speak to the mother about it.
Wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Chickencuddle · 03/12/2020 17:12

I told the teacher that she was at the park on her own and followed us over because she couldnt get in the house. I said I didnt know what to do because she was on her own but hopefully the mum would turn up.

OP posts:
WouldstrokeTomHardy · 03/12/2020 17:13

Fucking hell 4 or 5? The school should definitely be dealing with this. I would email the head directly at the very least. Tbh I would've called SS by now. Wtf is wrong with some people? Not you OP, the parents

RubbishQueen · 03/12/2020 17:13

Yeah talk with safeguarding lead. The school has a duty of care.

bridgetreilly · 03/12/2020 17:14

Schools are not actually responsible for everything that happens in a child's life. Be the adult here and report it yourself. You're the one who has seen what is happening, unlike the teacher hearing it second hand. It's not a school safeguarding issue, it's a neglectful parent. Report it to social services.

SmileEachDay · 03/12/2020 17:14

I think you need to:

A) stop letting her “tag along with you”, especially if you don’t know the mum.

B) Write down the things you have observed that concern you.

C) Give this list to the safeguarding lead - it’s often the Head at primary.

D) Don’t necessarily expect to hear what happens- there is a bunch of data protection stuff that will almost certainly prevent it.

E) if you are still concerned, let SS know.

Original poster
Chickencuddle · 03/12/2020 17:14

There are a few children from reception/year 1 there on there own but their parents live very close and often come to check on them. I was shocked when I first moved here but it seems to be what a few people do.
But this little girls parents have never been that I've seen and I'm there for an hour most days

OP posts:
YellowPostItPad · 03/12/2020 17:14

OP YOU should report your concerns to children's services. If you are concerned you need to act. Don't always expect someone else to act. When it comes to safeguarding we all need to take responsibility, not wait and hope someone else does.
This is an event which involves you, it is not happening at school so school would only repeat what you said - it is better you do it yourself so they hear it straight from the horses mouth.

Grace58 · 03/12/2020 17:15

Definitely report this to the safeguarding lead - I would probably ring social services too. I’m pretty stunned that the teacher told you to speak to the Mum (unless it was just the picking up that you mentioned and not the wider concerns).

happytoday73 · 03/12/2020 17:15

Not a good response by the teacher. Not your place to talk to the parent.

I'd email their safeguarding lead with details of exactly what happened and dates so can get idea of frequency. If that does not work I'd report to social services informing them that you've informed school

Its likely they are aware. Teacher could have just said.. Yes we are aware.. And left at that...

That's response I got for reporting a child alone at park regularly... They were known to social services

Useruseruserusee · 03/12/2020 17:15

I’m a safeguarding lead at the primary school. This is definitely something they should deal with and I’m shocked at the teacher dismissing it.

However I would also phone the police if I came across a reception age child playing on their own in the park.

flaviaritt · 03/12/2020 17:16

You could speak to the school again - and I am shocked if they know all this and haven’t acted - but really, you need to call SS right now. She’s 5 and very obviously at risk.

SmileEachDay · 03/12/2020 17:16

Not a good response by the teacher. Not your place to talk to the parent

I’d imagine the teacher thought the OP knew the mother, as she is allowing the child to walk away from where she was playing and to the school with her.

loutypips · 03/12/2020 17:17

@bridgetreilly

Schools are not actually responsible for everything that happens in a child's life. Be the adult here and report it yourself. You're the one who has seen what is happening, unlike the teacher hearing it second hand. It's not a school safeguarding issue, it's a neglectful parent. Report it to social services.
Schools have a duty of care towards the child and the teacher was in the wrong to say to speak to the parent. They should've called in their safeguarding lead who should report to ss.
flaviaritt · 03/12/2020 17:17

There are a few children from reception/year 1 there on there own but their parents live very close and often come to check on them.

These children are at risk as well. It is completely unacceptable to leave 5 and 6 year olds alone in a park.

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 03/12/2020 17:17

Police if you know where she lives. They'll escalate it to ss.

Laiste · 03/12/2020 17:18

Where are you for goodness sake OP?

Laiste · 03/12/2020 17:19

4 and 5 year olds out in the park alone??

Bluepolkadots42 · 03/12/2020 17:19

I think this sounds like a real safeguarding issues. You can report it yourself via your local authority MASH (just google the number) but I also think if you wrote what you've put in this post and emailed it to the headteacher they would have a duty to act on it. I think a 4 year being left alone in a park- regardless of how close her house is, isn't good parenting. It leaves the child vulnerable to predatory adults, anti social behaviour from other (perhaps older children) and what happens if she's there all alone no other kids ther eor adults and she falls from the equipment and seriously injures herself? My cousin broke his arm falling off a climbing frame when he was 6- obviously his mum was there to scoop him up and take him to hospital. I feel very sad for this little girl.

Thatwentbadly · 03/12/2020 17:20

I would be calling the police when she was locked out and I would have contacted SS well before now.

The teacher may have passed today’s info onto SS but you should still contact SS. It’s every adult’s responsibility to contact SS if they are concerned about a child.

Original poster
Chickencuddle · 03/12/2020 17:21

The mum lives halfway between the park and school
The child walked home but the mum wasnt there so I could either leave her in the road on her own or watch her walk to school she was going to go there anyway I think but decided to tag along with us. I wasnt comfortable with is really but she started walking with us and I had to walk there to get dd and didnt want to be late. Maybe I should have reacted differently I'm not sure...but I had my 5 year old and 1 year old with me and it's a busy road so was concentrating on that too and in the moment I didnt know what the right thing to do was straight away. Maybe if I stopped to think but I really didnt have that luxary

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 03/12/2020 17:22

call the police if a child is locked out on their own

nothing to do with school

flaviaritt · 03/12/2020 17:24

Usually I am on the ‘nothing to do with the school’ side of things, but that’s usually when it’s a minor thing that the poster is making a big deal about. This OP should be hammering on every door to get this poor child the care she needs. SS, police, school. Everyone needs to know.

redwinefine · 03/12/2020 17:25

You might need to report yourself rather than getting the school to report on your behalf/ secondhand as they're just going on your say so

SmileEachDay · 03/12/2020 17:27

OP should be hammering on every door to get this poor child the care she needs. SS, police, school. Everyone needs to know

Agreed. But she also should not be allowing the child to “decide to tag on with her”.

It heightens the risk to the child and it leaves the OP open to potential allegations.

Lavenderfieldsofprovence · 03/12/2020 17:29

It’s nothing to do with school. You need to ring the Police next time this happens. No four or five year old should be on the park alone.

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