To think it’s ok that I used the accessible toilet?

[diversity101]

I was at the train station and there are only two toilets(one accessible and one small one). It was the middle of the day so the place wasn’t very busy but both of the toilets were occupied.

3 months ago I had a large baby delivered with forceps and I have been struggling with bladder control since then. When I have to go I really need to. The first toilet to become available was the accessible one so I used it. I really felt I couldn’t risk waiting another min or so.

When I walked out a man working at the station shook his head at me and said the toilets were for disabled people only.

Was I wrong to use them? I feel bad but really didn’t want to embarrass myself in public.

OP isn't disabled though and she is also not in the UK apparently. We don't know what the rules are where she is and people should remember that before jumping up and down and telling her to complain.

Regardless of whether the OP does or does not have a disability (and from her OP she would definitely qualify as having a temporary disability) the issue is with the worker's assumption purely by looking at her that she was not disabled.

Anyone working in a customer facing or public role should be having diversity and disability awareness training, which should include the fact that not every disability is visible and judgemental comments, like the one the station employee made, are not acceptable. I would not phrase it as a "complaint" but that I want to make the workers employer aware of his behaviour and comment so that they can do further training/have a discussion about disability awareness to prevent the OPs experience happening to anyone else.

My cousin has a colostomy bag, which means she needs to use the accessible toilet when it needs emptying or to clean up if it leaks etc. You cannot see her disability as her bag is hidden under her clothes and she otherwise looks healthy. When she first got her bag she was very anxious about it and it took a lot of support for her to feel able to go out in public. If it had been one of the early days when she first went out alone, she had used an accessible toilet in public and been spoken to like the OP was then it would have seriously knocked her confidence about going out alone and she would not have been comfortable explaining her disability in public.

I volunteered and then worked full time with an organisation supporting people with physical disabilities and we used to call this 'reverse discrimination', it is discriminatory to have a toilet that someone with a disability cannot use so surely the reverse also applies.

I would complain op. I have suffered from IBS over the years and last colonoscopy mentioned mild diverticulitis which might not be so mild anymore. I need to go when I need to go and also appreciate using a toilet where I have a bit more privacy. What someone mentioned upthread about telling him about your vagina being ripped apart might have silenced him along with a dose of shame.

Regardless of whether the OP does or does not have a disability (and from her OP she would definitely qualify as having a temporary disability) the issue is with the worker's assumption purely by looking at her that she was not disabled.

Maybe you do have to be visibly disabled in the country that OP is in though. Perhaps the toilets are reserved for wheelchair users for example.

Anyone working in a customer facing or public role should be having diversity and disability awareness training, which should include the fact that not every disability is visible and judgemental comments, like the one the station employee made, are not acceptable. I would not phrase it as a "complaint" but that I want to make the workers employer aware of his behaviour and comment so that they can do further training/have a discussion about disability awareness to prevent the OPs experience happening to anyone else.

OP has said she is not in the UK and from the timelag not even in the EU so there may not be diversity and disability awareness training. Even if there is, it may not be the same as here.

Is lack of bladder control / both injury not a hidden disability. I'd argue it is at it interferes with normal functioning of your bladder.

The station guy was well out of order as you could have any kind of hidden disability.