He's planning to sell the house behind her back

[Returnofthemaccys]

Hi, I'd welcome any advice about what to do and whether this is legal.

DH's brother is married and lives in Scotland. He bought a house with a deposit that he saved up while married. Only his name is on the deeds even though they were married when he bought it about a year ago. Their marriage is in trouble and wife has moved in with her parents 8 months ago but continues to pay the mortgage as he has lost his job and she feels sorry for him. The marriage breakdown is largely due to his behaviour (which also caused him to lose the job). Wife moved back in recently but is now saying it's over and she wants a divorce.

I've found out from DH tonight that BIL is planning to sell the house behind her back. He's going to sell it to a friend who wants to flip it as an investment property so it won't be on the market, no viewings etc. Friend will then rent it to him until after the divorce so that SIL can't get half of the deposit equity. SIL pays the mortgage by putting money in his account and he pays so I think she'll never know.

My two questions are 1) Can he do this in Scotland and get away with it, both in terms of her not knowing it's being sold out from under her and in terms of her not being entitled to the money from it in the divorce if she files for divorce after the sale? and 2) Should I tell her? I don't know her very well at all but could contact her, but it's really none of my business. My loyalty is very technically with DH's brother though actually I'm disgusted by many aspects of his behaviour. But MIL is fully on board and knows and is championing this so me getting involved would massively rock the boat.

[WelliesWithHeels]

Maybe a quick temporary email address generator like TenMinuteMail.com may come in handy?

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

I think you should tell her directly - why would she believe a weird call from a stranger.
Express the need on your part that she respects your confidentiality, and keep your fingers crossed that she does.

[yetanothernamitynamechange]

She seems like a nice person. Is there any way you could phone her/facebook message her and say "look, I need to tell you something because I couldnt live with myself if I couldnt. But the fallout for me would be huge if they found out Id told you so please dont let on it came from me" and go from there. She doesnt even need to tell him she knows in theory, just contact a solicitor herself, register an interest in the property. Actually that would be in her interest too, since when someone is acting like a sneaky shit not letting them know everything you do know is an advantage.
There is still a risk she could immediately go storming of to her ex and let it all out, dropping you in it in the process. But it is a risk I would be willing to take myself.

[wibdib]

As well as getting the inhibition, I’d tell her she needs to make sure that she is labelling her bank transfers along the lines of ‘our mortgage payment’ so he can’t argue that she was just giving him money to live on while he used other money (from mil!) for the mortgage payment. Also to suggest that she wants the mortgage payment to be paid directly by her so she knows that it’s been used for the purpose that it’s meant for (she doesn’t want to discover he uses her money to live off and runs up debt on the mortgage).
Make sure she is keeping an up to date tally of all monies paid by both of them. Maybe suggest to him that as she has now paid xx% of the money towards the house, if he wants her to carry on paying the mortgage then she needs her name to go on the deeds - probably after she has got the inhibition registered.

Ensure there is plenty of paper trail (or text or email!) evidence that it is their house - so reminders that she has transferred the mortgage payment to him for out mortgage on our house etc.
Is she close by? Could she still go and need to stay there occasionally - even if she takes a friend - on the basis that it’s still her home - again to draw out her occupation rights? (I don’t know about this and obviously depends on it being safe to do so!).

But basically to think out of the box to keep an eye on the place and to keep her name attached to it!

[NewLockdownNewMe]

Honestly I think in this position I’d openly tell her and deal with the fallout. Your BIL isn’t just proposing an immoral action but an illegal one. As you recognise, whatever means you use to tell her, he will probably guess it was you - and then you can either get yourself twisted in knots denying it (and possibly have him/MIL never believe you), or you stand up for yourself and your actions. If this is the attitude of this family then sooner or later you’re going to have to stand your ground, or hate yourself for not.

[TenShortStories]

You don't have a family whatsapp group with her on it still do you? That would be perfect for posting on that you're worried about the legality and morality of swindling her and could they all reconsider, and then "Oops she's still on the group? Argh, sorry everyone, what a clutz I am". They all know it's you (so no fear of being outed) but you can forever uphold that it was an accident.

[BedknobsNoBroomsticks]

You need to tell her.

Can you not set up a fske FB page and send her a message.

[boredasf]

Send her the link to this thread...

[Veniemmanuel]

I know you say your DHbfeels the same way as you but if he is willing to "stay out of it" surely he is complicit in condoning it. That would bug me. I'd have a problem with my DH for taking that view because I expect the man I married to have a moral backbone and stand up to what is right.

I would tell her but to be honest only after a massive falling out with my DH if he still wasn't willing to get involved and watch his SIL get conned out of her money. What's to stop him treating me the same way tomorrow. his family would obviously stand by him given their sketchy morals so J would be none the wiser. This situation would really rock my own marriage if DH DH wouldn't do the right thing with me.

[timeisnotaline]

Absolutely tell her to register an interest/file an inhibition, label the payments ‘for 2 wanker st mortgage’ and see a lawyer. She has to know it’s from you but tell her not to breathe a word of where she heard it, Tell her to make up what ever she is most comfortable with and make a few suggestions:
-Bil behaving nastily so she saw solicitor who insisted she do this immediately
-She saw a thread on mumsnet and realised she’s just as vulnerable. That poor woman lost the house and they had 3 kids!! Men are so awful!! So I filed an inhibition.
-Her friend at a girls night was telling her stories from her lawyer friend about all the awful things she’s seen in divorces

[newstart1337]

You really should stay out of it, none of your business.

Any money from the sale of the house will be shared out in the divorce process. How would his (ex)wife not find out about this during the divorce?

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Your dh thinks you should stay out of it. Have you tried saying to him: I know you love me and would never think about doing this to me. However, in not getting involved, it gives me a small feeling that you might. It seems to me you really want to tell your sil. Therefore explain that you can’t live with yourself if you don’t. The message being keeping quiet could drive a wedge in your marriage but if you’re aligned, you can present a united front.

[tara66]

Not read all PPs but it seems to me that if SIL is planning to divorce then she should do so ASAP and thereby register a claim through solicitor for half share of house. That way if she acts quickly the matter is nipped in the bud. No one needs to know she was tipped off about his scheme.

[BlackCatShadow]

Surely, she isn't planning on paying his mortgage forever if they divorce.

I'd stay out of it, if I were you. There's no way he'll get away with this.

[Suzi888]

Yes I think he can, at least on Wales you need to complete a HR1 form. She’s moved out, I know she’s moved back but does anything link her to the property?
Tell her his plans, so she can take legal advice.

[MRC20]

What kind of person is she? If my SIL called me and said I have something to tell you, I'd like you to take action to protect yourself without revealing you know this information as if you say anything it could cause major issues in my marriage. Then if you told me the above, I'd take your secret to the grave! If this was me I would really hope someone would tip me off. I'd like to think I'd help someone but I see your dilemma re.DH 🤨

[Mumisnotmyonlyname]

You can lodge an interest in a house in England.

[KnitsAndGiggles]

I think you need to say something - morally it's the right thing to do

[Chailatte20]

www.google.com/amp/s/www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/protecting-your-home-ownership-rights-during-divorce-or-dissolution/amp

[Chailatte20]

How did he buy the property without putting her on the deeds while still married?

[titsbumfannythelot]

I don't think you can place a charge on the land registry the way you can in England, not without bil consent at least.

I would tell her so she can get ahead of the situation and seek legal advice. BIL sounds like a snake.

[MingeofDeath]

OP I hope this episode makes you look at your own legal standing regarding your assets and make sure you are protected. I am saying this because as lovely as your husband may be now, if your marriage did break down, he could change. The relationships board has had many threads detailing previously lovely husbands becoming monsters and trying to rip their wife off. As for your SIL, she needs to be told what's going on.

[Billben]

Thing is if you don't say or do anything, you are as morally corrupt as them.

Exactly this. My first question always is: Would I want someone to tell me if this was happening to me?

There is no way I would keep quiet about this. I God honestly think people put too much weight on the word “family” and use it as an excuse to let others get away with all sorts.

The only reason your BIL managed to secretly save a deposit is because his own wife earned more money than him. Also, if it wasn’t for his high earning wife, he would have lost his house because as unemployed he wouldn’t have been able to pay the mortgage. He should be thanking your SIL.

[Billben]

@MingeofDeath

OP I hope this episode makes you look at your own legal standing regarding your assets and make sure you are protected. I am saying this because as lovely as your husband may be now, if your marriage did break down, he could change. The relationships board has had many threads detailing previously lovely husbands becoming monsters and trying to rip their wife off. As for your SIL, she needs to be told what's going on.

Exactly this. With a morally corrupt family behind him who can do this to your SIL they will turn on you like vultures as well. Don’t forget, you just married into the family, you aren’t blood.

[Billben]

All the posters saying not to get involved: Would you not want to be told if you were that SIL this was happening to? I don’t think so.

This don’t stand up for people who are being wronged nonsense is really disheartening,.