everything my mother says pisses me off

[TwigorTreat]

because she's a selfish, unthinking prat at times

god bless her

Oh! I've got one of those.Sorry, but when I was little I thought my Dad was wicked for drinking. Since I was teen I understood him better. He needs a few drinks before coming through the door to face my Mum.
She has no idea that anybody else is on the planet.

My mogther has no odea that the rest of the world isn't telepathic, but that's another story...

You're right Desi, she's there and irritating the hell out of me most of the time, so fulfilling her job description . And she does come up trumps in times of crisis. And she didn't object to me stealing her skillet.

Sympathies. I generally feel the same about mine too. She never has a good word to say about anyone or anything (except my brother).

I love my Mum but she can be absolutely infuriating. Not in any outright way either. I wish I could tell you a humdinger of a story about her antics but she's infuriating in a very Alan Bennett, bathetic way that could be perceived as highly amusing or deeply sad depending on whether you've listened to it for the last 26 years. She creates situations that are entirely unnecessary and is the master of circular arguments. Last week at their house:

Dad: Where's the sellotape?
Mum: We've lived in this house for 20 years.
Dad: Where's the sellotape?
Mum: You're telling me that in 20 years you've never seen the sellotape?
Dad: Where's the sellotape?
Mum: If it's not in the place it has lived in for 20 years then you must have moved it
Dad: Where's the sellotape please?
Mum: Are you accusing me of moving it?
Dad: Please could you tell me where the sellotape is?
Mum: Honestly in 20 years you're telling me you've never used sellotape?

This goes on for about an hour until my Dad goes out and buys sellotape and my Mum mutters under her breath for the next day about sellotape and 20 years.

It's wearing.

But I truly love her.

lol at sellotape. Where does she keep it?

A little perspective: from the male side, but we're all human.

I once had a boyfriend who joined the Navy and was very ambitious with regard to his career and rugby. He was driven to the point of mania.

I once asked him why. He said "because I have to do better than my father. Not because I don't love him, and not for any rational reason. But it's deep, and I have to beat the fucker at everything I do."

Flip the sexes, and I think there's something there. It's by no means a criticism, but an affirmation of human nature. We strive to be better than our parents.

When we get old, we realise that any move we made, like trench warfare, was small .. but nonetheless crucial!

Anyway, the RUGBY calls!

Honestly CSWS, it's been in the same place for 20 years. Do I have to do everything myself?

[eyerolling]

It's in the drawer in the kitchen with the string and scissors and tat and pens and rubbish.

Everytime we see them dh hums The Proclaimers 'Don't Turn Into Your Mother'.

Yes Tinker but my Dad has no memory at all and a simple 'kitchen drawer' will suffice. An hour of badgering is not necessary and it's every single little question that she draws out into a soap opera. There is no straight answer.

Can I join the queer ma club?
two examples that come immediately to mind -
When dh phoned mum and dad to ask for my hand in marriage, mum asked him if he was sure, and warned him that I could be "very difficult".
After having ds, dh and I were held up at the hospital doing discharge paperwork, and were home later than we'd said (she was waiting for us. Which we knew). She assumed we must have decided to go for fish and chips on the way home instead of coming straight back, and was fuming at us when we arrived. ffs, FISH AND CHIPS?????

I think my Mum said 'on your own head be it' to dh when he asked for my hand.

My mother did congratulate me the other day on exclusively bf for as long as I have (23 weeks and still going) but in a rather roundabout way. Something along the lines of 'and we all had bets that you'd have given up by 4 months'.

97%Ginge lolololol pmsl rofl at your mum and dad's exchange about the sellotape. Can imagine Maureen Lipman playing your mum, Geoffrey Palmer your dad.

To OP if it's any consolation, I hardly know any one who doesn't have or has never had that sort of relationship with their mother. Most of us, who still have our mothers well into adulthood, suffer this sort of thing.

If you're lucky, and if your mother lives long enough without descending into senility, it does improve. At 85, my mother has never been so tactful and supportive. But she was like your mother 25 years ago.

my dm came to visit her first dgs, my ds, and said among many similar things to me "we never bonded because I didn't breastfeed you" ok then. now to the rugger

When I rang my Mum to tell her I was pg, she said "Oh, you fecker!"

When I told my mum I was pregnant the first time with ds (now ten yo) she said "Oh WWW, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!" in an exasperated tone.

Mistress of the barbed remark and unsympathetic response.

I do miss my dad, it didn't matter so much that I didn't get on with her when he was around because at least I had him. Oh well.

OMG! I thought I was the only one with a mother like this! I feel almost liberated! Get this, when I had my second ectopic pg and sadly no hope of ever having children unaided, she came to visit. Firstly, she arrived unannouced. DH had taken DD out to give me a chance to sleep in peace. She hammered on the door repeatedly until I answered it and said 'Oh I thought you must be asleep' Then she thrust some chocolates into my hand and promptly fell asleep on the sofa after expecting me to get her a cup of tea! Oh and btw, the chocolates we Celebrations!

Ooooh I've got the same mother. Speak to her on the phone fortnightly. Have her up to stay for a weekend 4 or 5 times a year. That's my limit! And yet, and yet, would so much love for it to be better. My life's ambition is not to turn into her. Yes, of course I love her, but she is hair-tearingly frustrating.

So sorry to hear about ds's friend, Twig .

Several years ago my mum came to stay over the Christmas period. December 23, I had to go to work, asked her to call me when the goose had been delivered. Got back from work that evening, asked mum if the goose had been delivered - she said no, but there is a big box that came this morning, I put it in the garage. Went to have a look at it, of course it was the goose. Asked her why she thought it wasn't the goose she said, but it says on it Parcel Tracker - I thought it was a track suit!

mine has pissed me off in everyway for at least the last 12 years or so... ever since I left home and got married...

So I feel your pain.. I am always looking for clubs and events to celebrate this fact with like minded people in the same situation..

Mine is here this weekend and I've just been thinking how miserable I am just being in the same building as her. It's really dragging me down. If it wasn't for the children, who don't find her the least bit odd or irritating (yet) I think I would have severed ties by now!

My dd is 7 months old and is my 1st. She has had a little rocky start as she has bad reflux. My mum has never heard of reflux so of cause it doesn't exist. she also told me recently that my dd was "vicious". I dont know but can a 7 month old be Vicious. She does pull hair and skin but i dont think she means it and the comment really hurt me..

My Mum's lovely

Just don't get me started on mil

Yo, every 'issue' I had with my first (rather 'difficult') DS was, in a round-about way blamed on my inadequate parenting- because, like yours, my mother had never heard of it (cow's milk intolerance, i this case)- or, in her words 'never heard such nonsense in all her life'!

My mother..where to start...?
She travels and spends 6 months of the year in Austraila, thank goodness for small merceys.
She is totaly self obsessed and thinks of thinking of others (freinds, family doesn't matter) as "conforming to society".
She admitted to our therepist that she "resented me as a child" because i "kept her from experiancing the world"
And also admitted that when i told her i was pregnant with dd she thought i'd got pregnant "on purpose to keep her in country".
Her first words when i told her i was pg were "it's not going to keep me going back to Australia" i did kind of wonder why, now I have an answer.
Her second reaction was to get blind drunk and tell me "she wouldn't love the baby, she'd perhaps like it..if it was a boy and she could take it places". Dd was a girl.

Oh yeah, the reason we were in therapy. She got drunk at a concert in Hyde park we went to together, when i tried to get her to leave because she needed to sleep (i'd also been drinking btw, but was not off my arse) she attacked me. I managed to get her back to where she lived where she threw me out screaming that she resented that i'd ever been born at 10.30pm in the middle of london. I consequently had my purse stolen.
I ended up not being able to use my left hand for 6 weeks and was on crutches for 3, no theese weren't injuries inflicted upon by purse theif, who i didn't even notice, but by my mother.
Because she felt i was stealing her freedom by reccomending she leave a fecking concert.
Oh yeah i get people that don't get on with their mums.

Yomo - I know you know this, but can I just say that your 7 month old is NOT vicious.

When my Mother came to visit me in hospital when dd was 3 days old and dd cried and I picked her up she said, "oooooh, you'll make a rod for your own back if you pick her up every time she cries"

!Honestly! Truly could not believe my ears.