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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do teachers ever expect Christmas gifts?

50 replies

MerryChristmas9792 · 02/12/2020 18:19

Not just this year but every year? Growing up my mum would always make us take gifts in. I started doing the same when DS started school - much to my husbands annoyance. He says it’s not needed and just send a card or an appreciative email.

Anyway. I now have 2 at school. This means 2 teachers and at least 6 teaching assistants that work on varying days.

Do they expect it? I do really appreciate all they do but 8 gifts seems a stretched - even at £5 each that’ll be £40. We’ve just had a heavy month - car repairs and out heating has just gone wrong which cost us nearly a grand to fix on top of Christmas.

Is a card (written by dc) and a verbal thank you from enough! Maybe I’ll leave the gifts until the end of the year?

OP posts:
iHaveACold · 02/12/2020 18:22

I love a card or a nice email! But do not expect gifts.

I love when parents send in a box of biscuits/chocolates for all the staff to share. Could do that? They get devoured even during covid times and are very much appreciated.

Original poster
MerryChristmas9792 · 02/12/2020 18:25

Good idea thank you! I’ll order some biscuits in the next shop! Or maybe a tin of chocolates?

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 02/12/2020 18:27

No one expects gifts.

Like PP a box of biscuits in the staff room or a card from the kids is plenty.

Not all children buy gifts and it can make them feel bad for not doing so.

sd249 · 02/12/2020 18:29

All of my primary friends would definitely prefer a card written by students than anything else.

Or even just a small bar of chocolate (a £1 dairy milk etc) is a nice gesture.

RabbitBeaver · 02/12/2020 18:37

I’ve never expected a gift. I keep all cards/ pictures and love getting them. Writing an email to the head if you want to is great and I can use it as evidence for performance management.

The best gift for me though are choc oranges or the £1 box of maltesers. I hate the thought of lots of money being spent on me!

cansu · 02/12/2020 18:37

I don't. As a staff we appreciate gifts of choccies or biscuits to the whole staff to share. I love it if kids make me a cup cake or a homemade treat of some kind. I remember a pupil who used to back cookies for me as a xmas treat; that was lovely. I also find it very expensive as I have a child in special school where they are really a class team and it can be so expensive to buy a gift for each member of staff. I have now started buying a joint gift. This year I was thinking of some baking instead..

stargirl1701 · 02/12/2020 18:37

No. A lovely card made by your child is appreciated.

halcyondays · 02/12/2020 18:39

You don’t need to spend £5 each. A box of Matchmakers would be great.

I thought some schools weren’t letting anyone use the staff room at the moment so not sure how they would use a tin of biscuits if that was the case.

tinytemper66 · 02/12/2020 18:39

No, I would just like a card if possible. No need for presents. I am in secondary so rarely get anything but a card is so welcomed.

halcyondays · 02/12/2020 18:40

I don’t think they expect gifts btw.

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2020 18:43

I wouldn't expect a gift although I used to get snall gifts from some children, a card with a message is always appreciated. I never worked in the type of school where a parent organised other parents to donate towards one big gift. I would have hated anyone to be put under pressure like that.

Plsv87 · 02/12/2020 18:46

Secondary school so a bit different, but I don't expect anything, no. When I do get something it's lovely but the absolute best thing to get is a card with a nice message.

MrsMiaWallis · 02/12/2020 18:47

The only time any teacher seemed genuinely pleased was when I left a box of chocolate biscuits in the staff room with a note saying thank you and happy Christmas

Plsv87 · 02/12/2020 18:50

Worth bearing in mind we can't use staff rooms at the moment (for boxes of biscuits etc)

ScabbyHorse · 02/12/2020 18:51

I definitely prefer a hand made card or message from the kids over any kind of present. However if it must be a present then booze please.

DinosApple · 02/12/2020 18:53

A card with a thank you note would be really appreciated by the teachers I work with - much more so than a present tbh.

If you really wanted to get something, biscuits or matchmakers for the adults at break time, that can go down well. But just to reiterate no one expects it.

Personally, I like the homemade cards the kids make me (TA).

SingANewSongChickenTikka · 02/12/2020 18:54

Our school have said no presents at Christmas (or cards), because of the restrictions on bringing things in, and the other financial pressures in parents due to COVID. We’ve been given access to an online message board to sen messages of thanks to the teachers should we want to.

DinosApple · 02/12/2020 18:54

The best cards are the ones when a little child draws a picture of the teacher. They always make me Grin.

MrsMiaWallis · 02/12/2020 18:56

@SingANewSongChickenTikka

Our school have said no presents at Christmas (or cards), because of the restrictions on bringing things in, and the other financial pressures in parents due to COVID. We’ve been given access to an online message board to sen messages of thanks to the teachers should we want to.
What a nice idea and well done that school!

I always remember when mine were at primary mumsnet saying definitely booze for teachers, I bought wine for years until I discovered the head was teetotal Blush

Littlemissnutcracker · 02/12/2020 18:56

A little token is nice. For example a tasteful tree decoration or something (tesco have buy one get one free at the moment and they are beautiful)

Ohdoleavemealone · 02/12/2020 18:57

Ds class want to all chip in £10. Thats £280 to gift between 2 teachers and a TA so probably £100 for each teacher and £80 for the TA. It's too much and imo not appropriate. We will be sending in chocs for all staff. Reception staff are totally forgotton and are really helpful.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 02/12/2020 18:59

I expect nothing ,ever. If parents want to do something then I don't care if it's a card,an email to the head, an actual gift or something homemade. I love and appreciate it all.

Also,because I'm a TA sometimes the teacher will get something and I won't from a child. It doesn't matter. Would bother me more knowing that a parent was stressed/struggling because of it.

MeeshW · 02/12/2020 18:59

At our school we do a group gift, £20 per class at the beginning of the year and then one of the mums will organise birthdays, Xmas, end of year gifts, etc. It does feel expensive though since we have 3 kids so that's £60 but then I don't need to worry about gifts or cards for the entire year. It's a private school if that makes a difference?

ThisIsMeOrIsIt · 02/12/2020 19:00

Never expect gifts. If I get a card it's lovely, nevermind anything else.

That said, the best present I ever received was from a boy who barely spoke all year (Reception). He had speech and language difficulties. But he got me a pack of sticky ninjas from the pound shop! His dad said he'd seen them and said my name so they got them for me. Best present ever!

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2020 19:01

@Ohdoleavemealone

Ds class want to all chip in £10. Thats £280 to gift between 2 teachers and a TA so probably £100 for each teacher and £80 for the TA. It's too much and imo not appropriate. We will be sending in chocs for all staff. Reception staff are totally forgotton and are really helpful.
I really hate that kind of expectation.