Miserable first trimester

[RosieFletcher]

Hello, this is my first post here... I am currently around 7 weeks pregnant and ashamed to say how unhappy I am and how much I hate this feeling. I was pregnant earlier this year ( that pregnancy did not make me feel this awful) and I was happy but it ended in miscarriage ( I was not too upset, I took it logically and was happy I could conceive; i am in my mid 30s and was not sure if it would ever happen). I was happy when i found out i was pregnant but soon forgot all that as i feel absolutely awful. I feel constantly sick ( i am not being sick though), and my day to day is just survival by eating unhealthy carbs every hour and forcing sips of water or squash. I can't really move as that makes it worse. I am trying to work but my productivity is very low ( which adds on to feeling awful). On top of that i have indigestion and heart burn ( helped with Gaviscon), stomach pains and it burns when i pee ( no UTI). I feel like this is ruining my life. I used to be a happy, energetic and healthy person and now feel like i am a super unwell, bed ridden mess. I also hate that i am so moaney and ungrateful, most women say how pregnancy is a miracle and this is meant to be an experience and that yes sometimes its difficult initially due to the physical symptoms but it will pass.. but when? In 3 months? 3 months of this is too much to think about.. and then i feel there is something wrong with me for feeling this way. Sorry for the long post.. i just wondered if anyone out there felt similar and how they coped...! Thanks for listening!

Hi @RosieFletcher this was me! Haha

I'm now 10 weeks and feel a whole lot better ... i feel tired but all the other symptoms you listed that I had have disappeared thankfully!

It will get better - I was hoping for the 12 week mark but this week I feel like I've had a new lease of life and feel 100% better in myself

Sorry you are feeling so crap. The likelihood is the worst it will pass by 12-13 weeks, and you will start to feel more human. Don't be too hard on yourself, this first trimester is really the hardest time.

You're at the worst part. With my first I felt awful between about 6&14 weeks, with my second I felt rough between 8&11 weeks. I think my second was easier partly because I genuinely couldn't sit and mope about it whereas with my first it was all I thought about and I think that makes you feel worse.
You'll feel better soon.

most women say how pregnancy is a miracle

Most mothers I know say pregnancy is horrible actually, especially the first trimester. You're not alone, honestly.

You’ll be fine. It’s not going to last forever and you get a beautiful baby out of it. Millions of women go through it.

This was me as well. The nausea and exhaustion started very early (3-4 weeks) and eased off at about 18 weeks but came back if I didn’t rest enough. Second pregnancy was worse as I was running around after a toddler. I gained loads of weight as regular carbs were the only thing that eased the nausea. It was like having a hangover with no relief for months. Despite having poor sleepers life improved instantly when the babies were born. In my second pregnancy I told my colleagues very early in and they really supported me.

Some pregnancies can be unbearable. I lost 2 babies, those were MMC and I only had mild sickness/nausea. After TTC for another year I got pregnant and it was horrific. All I could do was sleep, throw up, force a tiny bit of food down, throw up again and sleep!!! One day I woke.up and thought I can't do this, I'm going to book a termination.
Luckily I didn't, I phoned the gp instead who prescribed anti sickness tablets. They were a godsend and probably the only reason I continued with the pregnancy.

Good luck and don't suffer in silence.
So my advice, phone your doctor, there are things they can prescribe to help you feel better. There's no right or wrong answer to how long it will last...but get help from your to.

You are really not alone and actually my experience of other mums such as colleagues, friends and family have all been the “ oh I loved being pregnant! “ I hated every minute of it actually! It does get better but if you are really struggling with sickness then you can speak to gp. I ended up in hospital with HG at around 22 weeks and they told me I should have seen the gp sooner and they would have gave me anti sickness tablets there are ones that are safe to use in pregnancy. Also being in the middle of a pandemic I was put off going to see the GP because I thought they couldn’t do anything for me but they can. Now I have a 5month old and she is turning into one funny wee diva but the pregnancy bit was hard and yeah millions of women have been through it before us and after us but it doesn’t mean that YOUR experience isn’t difficult please don’t be hard on yourself everyone is different. I really hope you feel better soon just do what you can to get through your day just now and take each day at a time and congratulations x

The first few weeks are rough but they'll pass. My symptoms really subsided at 9 weeks and then improved again at 12 weeks. Also, feeling nauseous is a really good sign that your pregnancy hormones are high and you've got a strong little beam growing away in there. Good luck!

You poor thing!
I was in exactly the same situation a few weeks ago. I am currently 19 weeks and this is my 2nd pregnancy and I feel 100% myself again and have done since about week 13? I get tired alot and need naps most days but I blame that on my full-of-beans 2.5 year old.

I was nowhere near as bad with my first pregnancy so went into this one abit sure-of-myself and was met with the worst nausea & exhaustion in week 6. I used to lie on the sofa and watch people on tv and be jealous of how 'normal' they seemed cos they could smile, eat, laugh and not feel like 100% crap. So honestly, you are not alone!

Talk to your midwife and/or GP, eat whatever and whenever you want when you can, sleep whenever you can, tell your work now so you won't feel guilty during your unproductive days and most importantly remember THIS WILL NOT LAST. One day you will feel much better i promise.

I actually found that once I started actually being sick around 10 weeks that I felt much better and I got a bit of respite between the hurls.

Congratulations and remember you are on the downhill slope to feeling like yourself again.

This was me in first pregnancy and me right now, I'm 11 weeks. I am much like you trying to stay in bed as much as possible. I find drinking fizzy water or Coca Cola which it's fizzy give me great relief, even tho coke is the last thing I want to drink it's been a lifesaver for me this time. I would never ever normally drink coke but my fridge is full of it, I find as the weeks go on you learn more little tricks that work for you and it becomes more manageable. Maybe going for a walk might help, or eating something to raise your blood sugar first thing also a good one.

Ring your GP and ask for some tablets to help control the nausea too, you don't have to suffer.

Mine eased at 18 weeks last time, and this time I'm hoping for earlier, maybe even never week at 12 weeks when placenta takes over. You'll get through xx

The first trimester is absolute hell for most women so you’re really not alone. I’ve been pregnant 8 times (not all successful) and felt sick all day every day during half of those pregnancies. I felt this way until 16 weeks with DC1 and until 20 weeks with DC4.

You just have to do whatever it takes to get through the day really. I survived on plain toast, Rice Krispies and bucket loads of extra strong mints (I sucked them all day and it helped a little).

The 1st trimester is usually pretty grim. It passes.

Congratulations!

The first trimester is just awful, you have my full sympathy. Please don't feel guilty about eating crap food, you just need to do whatever you can to get through it.

Don't feel guilty! The first trimester SUCKS. My baby has been in 'waking every hour every night' mode for close to three months now and I'm still nowhere near as exhausted as I was during the first trimester. You're the baby's life support and you're growing an entire new organ on top of that. Hopefully you'll feel much better at 12 weeks.

Are you able to tell work so they understand why you're not on top form?

Is your partner supportive? They need to understand how rough this is and that they need to take on the lion's share of the housework/cooking/other responsibilities.

Also, are you taking a decent prenatal vitamin and extra vitamin D? The vitamin D in most multivits is truly pathetic and you need a much higher dose when you're pregnant

I think that’s pretty normal OP I’m now into my 3rd trimester and my 2nd wasn’t so bad. 1st was awful. 3rd isn’t fun. The backache Eurgh. It’ll get better and then worse though if you’re anything like me. I just keep telling myself it’ll be worth it in the end 😬

The first trimester is bloody awful, I'm into my second now and have a lot of energy back and starting to feel the baby move about so this part is definitely the wonderful bit. Before getting pregnant I was scared of the birth but now I think pregnancy is deliberately horrible enough to make you look forward to getting it over with!

The time will pass a lot quicker than it feels like at the moment, don't forget that you're already halfway through that 3 month wait. Can't offer much in the way of tips really as I just napped my way through it.

Just want to say thanks so much to everyone who responded so quickly! Really kind of all of you to take time out of your day to reply to this neurotic lady here :). It's reassuring to know this will pass and i am not alone, thanks a lot.

Urgh, early pregnancy can be awful. I ended up off sick from work for a week (and I am the "I'm conscious, therefore I'm okay to go into work" type of person). Spent weeks picking the chair closest to the door in meetings, having someone as a backup if I was supposed to be chairing a meeting and had to abruptly leave, and eating a lot of polo mints.

Ear infections, migraines, tonsillitis, UTIs, pleurisy, induced labour, two sections...none of it, and I mean none of it, comes close to the pure misery of weeks 8-12.

It gets better. Honestly. Try and rest and sleep as much as possible and do what you can to look after yourself while you wait for it to get better.

Oh I remember this well, I was only sick twice but the all day nausea was awful. I lived on nibbling crackers and babybel as I couldn't stomach anything much bigger. One of the early times that I was sick (pre crackers) I'd had spaghetti hoops on toast, finished it and half a minute later it was back 🤢 I joked that DD was clearly a food snob and returned the meal back where it came from

It does pass though 🧀🫓

I felt as if I needed my maternity leave during the first trimester with my first child. I was an exhausted, vomitty mess. And was working full time as a midwife and had to organise a large wedding at speed. I’ve no idea how I did it.

Hang on in there it does get loads better. Hide in bed whenever possible and allocate your DP as your slave.

My first pregnancy was horrible.
The first semester was grinding nausea and exhaustion. I was losing weight because I could barely eat, despite gaining bump. Some days I couldn't put my toothbrush or mouthwash in my mouth without triggering dry retching. Smells would make me retch. I longed for the relief of actually vomiting, but that rarely happened.
When that wore off at 16-18 weeks, it was overlapped with SPD and I ended up stuck in the house unless I was driven door to door. By week 39, I could barely reach the kitchen taps and could not get myself off the sofa unless someone was in the house to pull me off and lived in bed or on a kitchen chair. Oh and in addition to the burning pelvis and useless legs, my hands were numb, tinggly and clumsy from carpal tunnel.

Pregnancy can be utter misery.

First trimester is a nightmare. Hang on in there, op.

I was very lucky both times not to be very sick but I had all day nausea with dd. I quickly learned that small regular meals really helped, that and avoiding sudden movements. I found nibbling on ginger biscuits, nuts, tangerines, sucking mints helped me. It will pass and once you start to look pregnant and can feel movements it is even enjoyable for the most part.

Totally with you on the misery train op.

I'm just past 7 weeks and been nauseous almost all day every day all that time (but not thrown up yet). I'm always cold now, almost always exhausted. I've had bleeding almost every day since implantation, so already been through an internal with the GP (fun!) and two internal scans (scary but way less uncomfortable) before 7 weeks with no partner allowed. Every trip to the loo feels like a stressful event.

And I just found out today my 8 week booking in appointment isn't happening till 11 weeks, so I feel pretty alone in all this.