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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband had an affair -in my dream- and now I’m slightly annoyed at him

64 replies

DavidNowie · 30/11/2020 08:22

AIBU? Absolutely! But at least tell me I’m not alone! It was a VERY vivid detailed dream and DH slept with my real life friend’s real life hot sister, and was unapologetic afterwards, everyone in my dream was gaslighting me telling me it was no big deal. He’s being so helpful this morning too ! (No wonder after his outrageous behaviour in my dream Grin) Obviously I’m not phoning the divorce solicitor just yet but honestly there’s a tiny part of me that’s raging and feels wronged lol I think I’m peri menopausal, is this related? Anyway any good ideas for dealing with this weird feeling? I can’t be the only one! I’m debating having a nap during my lunch break and a revenge dream fling with (insert hot Hollywood actor who I haven’t yet decided on name)

OP posts:
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 30/11/2020 08:23

Haha! You're not alone OP. Have you told him about this dream and your feelings now? It gets better once you've laughed about it together and had a cuddle.

Ohalrightthen · 30/11/2020 08:25

My sister once dreamed i slept with her boyfriend (we were living together at the time) and didn't speak to either of us in real life until dinner that day.

musicposy · 30/11/2020 08:27

YABU but that is funny! I’ve done similar; had full blown arguments with DH in my sleep and woken up very cross with him.

Just lay low for a few hours and it’ll wear off (though revenge dream sounds a good option!).

Original poster
DavidNowie · 30/11/2020 08:27

@Ohalrightthen

My sister once dreamed i slept with her boyfriend (we were living together at the time) and didn't speak to either of us in real life until dinner that day.
I hope you both apologised profusely for doing her wrong and cooked the dinner Wink
OP posts:
YakkityYakYakYak · 30/11/2020 08:27

Haha, my husband is a regular dream philanderer and I always feel very irritated after this type of dream. I generally tell him about it when I wake up and make him apologise 😂

Runnerduck34 · 30/11/2020 08:27

Revenge dream is definitely the way to go😂
Your not alone, something similar happened to me, I dreamt DH did something really thoughtless and stupid ( can't even remember what it was now! ) but it was vivid dream. The next day I had to try really hard not to be angry with him😆

SomewhereInbetween1 · 30/11/2020 08:28

Oh no this is the absolute worst! It's the most annoying thing to be angry about because you have no one to direct that anger to 😂.

AllTheCakes · 30/11/2020 08:30

DH has a dream alter ego. We call him Dream Dave as he often crops up and ruins an otherwise nice morning. Dream Dave is a dick.

SylvieSangFroid · 30/11/2020 08:30

YANBU, I've had this ans DH has had it even more! Many times I've woken up and he glares at me because of me betraying him in his dream! I accept full responsibility of course Wink. It's only right.

lunalulu · 30/11/2020 08:31

@YakkityYakYakYak

Haha, my husband is a regular dream philanderer and I always feel very irritated after this type of dream. I generally tell him about it when I wake up and make him apologise 😂
😂😂👌
EasternDailyStress · 30/11/2020 08:34

I often dream that someone really gorgeous is pursuing me and is desperate to sleep with me, but I always tell them no, I'm sorry but I'm married. WTF is that all about? Obviously too loyal for my own good.

WildOrchids67 · 30/11/2020 08:34

I had this, but the opposite! I dream-cheated on an ex of mine and woke up feeling guilty! He found it funny!

Original poster
DavidNowie · 30/11/2020 08:35

I haven’t told him yet because friends sister is extremely good looking and I don’t want him to get any momentary pleasure thinking he’s had sexual with her in my dream Grin clearly I’m not over it Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
DavidNowie · 30/11/2020 08:36

@EasternDailyStress

I often dream that someone really gorgeous is pursuing me and is desperate to sleep with me, but I always tell them no, I'm sorry but I'm married. WTF is that all about? Obviously too loyal for my own good.
Haha I do this too! Damn my morals ruining my dream fun Grin
OP posts:
Zfactorstar · 30/11/2020 08:37

I once had a dream that my brother left me behind in a plague because he didn't want to listen to my music in the car. He was kind enough to at least take my cat with him. Still haven't fully forgiven him.

MsTSwift · 30/11/2020 08:39

My dh set up his own dating agency so had his pick of women. I was furious and gutted when I woke up

Original poster
DavidNowie · 30/11/2020 08:39

@Zfactorstar

I once had a dream that my brother left me behind in a plague because he didn't want to listen to my music in the car. He was kind enough to at least take my cat with him. Still haven't fully forgiven him.
We need some examples of your musical taste for context
OP posts:
Original poster
DavidNowie · 30/11/2020 08:40

@MsTSwift

My dh set up his own dating agency so had his pick of women. I was furious and gutted when I woke up
I feel my age is showing when my first thought is “Was it profitable?, did it cover uni fees for the kids and some nice holidays?”
OP posts:
GoldenNCurly · 30/11/2020 08:41

I had a dream last night about my ex from OVER 10 YEARS AGO! In the dream he was desperately trying to rekindle things and I had to keep telling myself that no, I loved my partner of 7 years. I woke up feeling very guilty 🙈
Dreams are an odd things OP, go easy on your OH!

Zfactorstar · 30/11/2020 08:42

Maybe subconsciously I know my music taste is shit and this is how it comes out.Shock

Laiste · 30/11/2020 08:43

DH regularly has dreams about me leaving him and feels a bit down sometimes until mid-morning! The strange thing that if you had to pick out of the two of us then i'm probably the slightly more insecure one, but i never dream about him leaving me!

I dreamed about Donald Trump ejaculating over my shoes once! I was out of sorts all day after that one! I even made a thread on here about it at the time GrinGrin

JorisBonson · 30/11/2020 08:44

@YakkityYakYakYak

Haha, my husband is a regular dream philanderer and I always feel very irritated after this type of dream. I generally tell him about it when I wake up and make him apologise 😂
Are you me??

Regular dream philanderer, that's his new name.

NotTheToothFairy22 · 30/11/2020 08:50

Oh I've had this. The worst one was when he cheated with a girl who works in the shop that he goes to every night (to buy me diet coke and snacks) and he said he was leaving me because SHE WAS HIS SOULMATE! That bit really stung and the whole next day I could clearly remember the pain it caused in my dream to hear those words. I told DP about it and he laughed and reaffirmed that he'd never leave because I was his soulmate. But then for weeks he'd joke he was 'off to see the soulmate' when it was time for the shop.

That bitch was skinny too.

thesoundofthepolice · 30/11/2020 08:54

I had a dream DH had an affair with a mutual friend and tried to give her my engagement ring and move her in to our house. I was in the worst mood when I woke up more so about the ring and felt like I had to tell DH. He booked us an overnight stay in a lovely hotel because I was so annoyed by it 😁

I tried telling him it had happened again a couple of months later and he just told me to stop being ridiculous.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 30/11/2020 09:09

@thesoundofthepolice

I had a dream DH had an affair with a mutual friend and tried to give her my engagement ring and move her in to our house. I was in the worst mood when I woke up more so about the ring and felt like I had to tell DH. He booked us an overnight stay in a lovely hotel because I was so annoyed by it 😁

I tried telling him it had happened again a couple of months later and he just told me to stop being ridiculous.

It was worth a try.