Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my SIL is rude

38 replies

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 19/10/2007 22:31

I don't see db and sil much as they live 100's of miles away.
they can't put us up (well they can but have no understanding of dd's cp)
well tomorow they are visiting.
well db is but sil is going shoping as she loves some shops in my town.
wtf. dd would love to see her and so would I . we will be lucky if we see her for 5 mins. rude?

OP posts:
TheEvilDediderata · 19/10/2007 22:32

Extremely.

It'll come home to roost when the credit card hits home.

xXxamyxXx · 19/10/2007 22:33

yes very she could shop anywhere

Tigaaaarghna · 19/10/2007 22:35

rude

and strange

maybe a quick pop to a shop she wouldn't otherwise get a chance to go to

If they live so far away are they down for the weekend? So shop on sunday!

(full stop key is broken, sorry for poor punctuation!)

ChasingSquirrels · 19/10/2007 22:37

do you get on? maybe she doesn't want to see you - but at least this way you get to see your brother?

Original poster
2shoescreepingthroughblood · 19/10/2007 22:42

it is odd. they are having a weekend of visiting dad today me tomorow and sil sister on sunday then back home.
what really got me iS that I thought they would come down early so she would still have time with us. but they arn't.
very odd. i have known her for 20 odd years. not best buddies but ok,

OP posts:
ChasingSquirrels · 19/10/2007 22:55

yes, rude then.

SpiritualKnot · 19/10/2007 22:59

I not so sure it's rude? Where I live there are no shops, I work full time and then am cleaning etc all weekend. The nearest town has a few shops, everyone wears the same clothes though! I have to buy most things online. The only chance I get to go shopping is when I visit my parents or dh's parents...hope they don't think I'm rude, I always feel they encourage me to go and shop coz they know we're I live.

Just wondering, do your db and sil live in a place with very few shops as well? I really look forward to visiting family because of my litle shopping trips, so I wouldn't get too upset about it, unless there's some obvious animosity from her?

SK

TheEvilDediderata · 19/10/2007 23:10

No, it's rude. Family comes before shopping.

Original poster
2shoescreepingthroughblood · 19/10/2007 23:12

they live in somerset not far from taunton. I am sure they have shops ther. I know she loves a certain area in our town. BUT whenever we see them db always says "well you know dw loves the lanes so we will visit you"
I know it is silly and childish but I am a bit hurt at having to always take second place to shops.

OP posts:
Original poster
2shoescreepingthroughblood · 19/10/2007 23:13

oh and when db told me I said oh ok I will go with her.........oh no she has to go alone!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
TheEvilDediderata · 19/10/2007 23:20

OK, 2shoes. That's obviously the way she is, so I guess you have to let it be.

Let her shop. DD will come to her own conclusions in time

xXxamyxXx · 19/10/2007 23:21

have you done something to offend her?why does she have to go alone?!

snig · 19/10/2007 23:25

if its yeovil then there are plenty of shops there. anyway there are quite a few hours in a day surely if she really has to go shopping then she can come and visit you after!

nappyaddict · 19/10/2007 23:33

yes spiritual but i bet you also make time to see your family too

SpiritualKnot · 20/10/2007 00:00

Yes I do make time for the family too and I love it when they come shopping with me as well!
SK

Original poster
2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 11:30

she has this "thing" where she has to go alone. even db doesn't go. still she will pop in to show her face. Oh and I am sure over the last 20 odd years I have offended her at some time. but we get on ok. just she I very hard to get close too. if it had been my other sil(dh's db's dw) then done deal we would have gone together. when neice came we went together. so It's not me. I am not horrid lol

OP posts:
madamez · 20/10/2007 11:34

I don't think she's beng rude because it doesn't sund like she's doing it delieaely to upset you. There could be ny number of reasons why she wants this time to herself (it maybe that what she actually wants is time away frm your DB for all you know.)
I think you're making a bit of a fuss about nothing.

frumpystumpy · 20/10/2007 11:37

sometimes people need to be alone. I like (and need) my own company. I don't mean to be nasty to anyone but sometimes being around people is very hard for me, for lots of reasons, and I feel its best to leave them to it and stay out of the equation. Sometimes to be in the equation would mean painting on a front and using a lot of energy to maintain that front for some time. Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I have to build myself up to be able to do it and sometimes I just can't do it. Its not always personal.

She's not rude or odd IMHO. Maybe she's doing the best she can.

frumpystumpy · 20/10/2007 11:38

and I hate shopping with other people

dooley1 · 20/10/2007 11:51

maybe she will come back with lots of lovely things for your dd
but obviously that is not the point

dooley1 · 20/10/2007 11:58

maybe the whole family thing is a bit much for her
couldn't you have organised it so that you saw them with your dad, then you would have sen them for a whole day

glitterchick · 20/10/2007 14:12

V. rude and your brother is prob mortified by rudeness.

ginnedupumpkin · 20/10/2007 14:20

At least you get to see your brother. My sil hates me and won't let my db or my nieces and nephew near me.
I'm not horrid either btw

Magicmayhem · 20/10/2007 14:25

HIJACK...
when My brother and sil visit my parents they go shopping in town and mum and dad babysit their 6 year old!! they've done this since he was a baby..they also live 70 odd miles away and don't visit parents often...

so yes I do think she is RUDE..
have you told your brother that you think she is rude...

juliaa · 20/10/2007 15:27

Yes, quite rude - and if you're talking about the lanes in Bton then you def need another bod with you to watch the locals go by - it's a sport!! Hope you can enjoy db though cos that's the most important thing.