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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my SIL is rude

38 replies

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 19/10/2007 22:31

I don't see db and sil much as they live 100's of miles away.
they can't put us up (well they can but have no understanding of dd's cp)
well tomorow they are visiting.
well db is but sil is going shoping as she loves some shops in my town.
wtf. dd would love to see her and so would I . we will be lucky if we see her for 5 mins. rude?

OP posts:

Original poster

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 17:53

well she went shopping for 4 hours and what did she buy?? NOTHING
so yes In my books rude.
madamez glad you think I am making a fuss about nothing. You really are a charmer.

OP posts:

Original poster

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 17:54

oh and I couldn't see them when they visited my dad as it was a school day and sil wanted to go shopping
have to say I had a lovely time with db.

OP posts:

starshaker · 20/10/2007 18:02

was gonna post somethin but thought i better not

FrannyandZooey · 20/10/2007 18:23

I think if she doesn't want to come and visit you, what is the point of her sitting there to make polite conversation? I think you have to let people go their own way really. When inlaws visit I don't really have any interest in being there and know that they are really here to see dp and ds. I often go out or get on with something that I can be doing while ds is occupied with them - the break for me is lovely. I think you have to allow people to make their choices about how they want to spend their leisure time.

Original poster

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 18:24

oh do starshaker I don't mind if people don't agree with me. That is why I asked if "AIBU" as maybe I am.

OP posts:

Original poster

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 18:25

f and z I think you hit the nail on the head. so perhaps I should just think sod it and not care. it is embarresing as dh and ds find it odd. but at least i get to see db.

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 20/10/2007 18:29

Yes I would try to just shrug and ignore it. She may be a very unfamily type person like me. Also some people just don't enjoy sitting chatting etc - I know full well my dad would never, ever come to visit us if he didn't have to help my mum with the driving - and when he is here he sits and reads the paper! I am not offended (although I can see it is strictly speaking rude) because I know what he is like.

I don't know if my ILs are offended or not - but tbh I don't much care - I spend all week at home looking after ds - the idea of sitting at home all weekend looking after ds and making polite conversation with them is not my idea of fun.

Original poster

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 18:33

tbh she is the same with my dad. he has noticed it as well. she has her own family and nephews and nieces and I think that is enough for her, we do have a history as years ago we REALLY rowed. but that has long be sorted. so I don't think it is that she doesn't like me. never mind...lifes to short(can you tell I loved seeing my big brother)

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 20/10/2007 18:41

I don't expect she doesn't LIKE you, she'd just rather go shopping. Maybe it's rude that she does so instead of pretending? I don't know. It is sort of refreshingly honest! I sometimes think life would be easier if we all said honestly what we would rather do, instead of doing lots of things out of politeness and everyone feeling awkward.

Personally I would much rather someone DIDN'T come and visit me if they would rather be somewhere else!

kindersurprise · 20/10/2007 18:49

Oh, dear, I am actually really glad that my German SIL does not speak English otherwise I would be worrying that she is 2shoes.

I did this last weekend, we went to stay with the PILs, arrived Thursday evening, I went shopping on Friday, we went to a wedding on Saturday and we left after breakfast Sunday morning.

SIL did comment that it was a shame we did not get the chance to meet, but we are not that close so I was not too bothered. Added to that they are coming to visit us in in 2 weeks (look out for my AIBU about SIL after that as after the last visit I swore I would not have her back in the house)

In my case, shopping was necessary because I had not lost the weight that I needed to get into my smart trousers for the wedding and had to buy a new pair I did not have the chance to go at home.

SIL had some time with DH and the DCs spent a lot of time with their cousins so everyone was ok about it.

Unless SIL is now on a German MN asking AIBU?

starshaker · 20/10/2007 18:50

i was ust a kind of commenti would make to my sister as she get my humour. then i realised not every1 does and i mightget into troble lol

Original poster

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 20/10/2007 19:11

i am intrigued

OP posts:

starshaker · 20/10/2007 19:19

but remember its a joke.

maybe shes shaggin some1 else

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