Unrealistic beauty standatds for women.

[malificent7]

Firstly, to be considered beautiful in our culture you need to be under 30. Then it is still not enough, you need to be skinny/ toned and comply to a plastic look...eg; fillers in lips, fake nails, boobs, eyebrows tattood on.
I am just beginning to realise at 42 that age is actually quite beautiful.....
I just feel depressed that i have never been able to keep up with beauty standards and that companies have made some money out of my subsequent insecurities.
Dd is beautiful and feels beautiful which i never felt. I am relieved for her.
Not sure what my aibu is but thoughts please....it sucks dosn't it?

It makes sense that being young and fit is generally seen as more attractive. It simply looks healthier.

For the rest, you are BU. Not that many people find the fake nail/ tatooed eyebrows that attractive. I have heard a lot of men who would much prefer a more natural look!

Now some 50 year old look BETTER with some help than they would without. Fair enough, we are lucky to have some much help available if we want: brighter teeth, shiny and beautiful hair, some filler to make you younger.

Beauty standards haven't changed much, a symmetrical face always help, but there's no such thing as a universal standard for men or women. Some like geeky, others like muscly, some blonds, some dark skin.

42 is not too late to make you the best you can be. You just need to be happy with the way you look, and work towards what you can change.
If Marilyn Monroe had been brainwashed into thinking only Audrey Hepburn could be attractive, she would have never left her house.

There's beauty, and there's being attractive. Even if you are not a classical beauty, you can still be very successful and attractive. It's fine if your appearance matters.

This is a US and UK ideal, not one you will find in parts of Europe. The French and Spanish don't write off women over 30 for example.

I think it's a pity that younger women buy into this much more than older women, as a general rule.

I did it myself - I look back at photos of younger me and discover that I was really quite a looker back then. I still felt the need to pack on the slap before leaving the house for whatever purpose and agonise about all sorts of things I needn't have worried about. It wasn't helped by my mother who was very vocal about how I should look and what I should wear and that it was vital always to have sex appeal.

Now, in my 50s, I am happy and confident. I'm fit and healthy and look fine. Not a head turner, but I really couldn't care less. I look after my appearance to an extent that pleases me, not for others.

I couldn’t care less for myself. I wish my beautiful DD would see herself as she is. She believes herself to be hideous as that’s what some so called friends told her she was at 13-15yo and she can’t shake it. 😞

Of course they are... BUT - we can opt out.

We can say no.

Our success in life isn't linked to what we look like anymore. Women are worth more than how pretty we look with our mouths shut because we don't actually have to make marriagability the centre of existence, but it is hard to lose the conditioning of millennia that that's where our worth as women lies.

Sure, those beauty standards matter if you're a model or movie actress but I don't actually see why ordinary women have to worry about it. Sure, being better-than-average looking might help in careers etc, as has been shown by research, but equally being a stunner can be a bit of a handicap for women who want to be taken seriously but are written off as 'totty' by those in charge.

Most men know they're not going to hook up with perfect, idealised beauties and honestly, the ones who do think that are not worth trying to please!

@Whyistheteacold

A lot of the pressure to conform to certain standards or ideals seems to come from women who feel the need to pass comments on other women's looks, as evidenced by the majority of posters on this thread.

Exactly! The (now deleted) thread yesterday about Tess Daly is testament to that.

But it helps people to blame beauty and diet industries, rather than themselves.

It never hurts to have standards, and it's absolutely fine to be the best you can be, intellectually AND physically.

It's long gone the times when being beautiful had to equal dumb when you were female. Many attractive and successful women have proved it and lead the way.

We are amazingly lucky we can spend money and effort to get some help and tweaks where we need.

The key is not to be obsessed about it. I encourage my girls to be HEALHY, fit, sporty because being toned and slim looks good but more importantly, it's amazing for your mental health. Nothing beats that feeling of accomplishment of finishing a race or winning that competition. It brings the size of your nails into perspective, but it doesn't stop you from having great eyebrows, which is quick safe and cheap to maintain.

I also don't agree with the beauty standards you have mentioned.
My Instagram feed is full of beautiful curvy women, with "natural" makeup, a variety of hair textures and gorgeous skin tones.
Beauty is subjective

@NoPainNoTartine - yeah, I think beauty, fashion etc are all things we should have fun with but shouldn't be chores that we must get right in order to be acceptable