To not sort out contact time for XH over Christmas?

[ToadCandle]

I’ve had a text from my XH:
“need to sort out whats happening with kids over xmas as we had em here last year”

AIBU to tell him to fuck off, seeing as our children are aged 20, 21 and 23? And that one lives abroad, one lives independently locally and one lives WITH HIM? 😂

Was that message to the right ex wife?

What a moron he is. They are adults. Are you even going to bother replying?

Text, You do know they are grown ups now?

This hilarious.

I'm guessing he doesn't want any of them there then

I’d be inclined to text

?

”we had em here last year”

In other words “can you tell them to come to you this year as we don’t want the hassle of having them here”

Nice.

Forward that to the DC and let them see what he thinks of them. (Don’t actually do that!)

I've voted YANBU, but did he cook a Christmas dinner in his for them and is wondering if you would host instead? What do your kids want to do for Christmas day?

I wouldn’t respond to him BTW

You won't be able to have all 3 anyway cos covid bubbles. He could have them all though.

Oh FFS how ridiculous.

Serious question: am I utterly deluded to think having to communicate with my awful exH will stop when my youngest turns 18?!

So last year all the kids and two partners were with me but went to his for a couple of hours for dinner. One partner went home to his parents and, bizarrely, one stayed here.

When they were little, he had for two Xmas Days out of 7, so I don’t think he’s overwhelmed! 😂

@ToadCandle

So last year all the kids and two partners were with me but went to his for a couple of hours for dinner. One partner went home to his parents and, bizarrely, one stayed here.

Why does he think he had them for Xmas??

Yeah that's him offloading the kids on to you, failing to realise that they are all adults and (presumably) capable of making their own arrangements.

Just message "why are asking me?" The man's an idiot.

Has he not noticed that they're fully grown adults? Absolute tit.

Well just suggest you do the opposite to last year then. The kids spend the majority of the day with him and come to you for dinner. See what he has to say to that

How ridiculous. Sounds like he doesn't want them for Xmas dinner (charming) but given they are adults they need to discuss with him if they want to join him and if it doesn't suit, he responds to them that he can't/has x y z plans etc.

I would just reply saying they are adults and his contact with them has nothing to do with you - he's welcome to talk to them directly about their plans....

Weird!

Too funny😂

I'd be tempted to make a group chat with you, xh and all kids, put a screen shot of that message and sort between yourselves 😂

Oh. My. Goodness.

I simply couldn't reply but the things I'd LIKE to reply....well there would be too many to name!

What a tit 🤣

I answered. I reminded him they are all adults and no longer need a schedule.
I also let him know what two of the DC are doing (as I’ve asked them!) and that I’m waiting to hear from the third.

He doesn’t know what they’re doing as he very rarely gets in touch with them.

I am like this 😂😂😂 about his text, but like this 😤 😤😤 about him thinking our wonderful ADULT DC are waiting to be told where to go on Christmas Day.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

I am pleased to say I very rarely hear from him nowadays. The last text was two years ago, when he was very angry at me for not stopping our DD dropping out of A-levels for an apprenticeship.
I reminded him then that she was a young adult, making a well thought out decision and in the end she would make her own choice.

He told me that her boyfriend wouldn’t like it and that he’d dump her and then she’d ‘have nothing’. I told her she’d have me, a great job and future prospects and wouldn’t be held back by a deadbeat jealous boyfriend.

Fucking idiot.

@Looneytune253

Well just suggest you do the opposite to last year then. The kids spend the majority of the day with him and come to you for dinner. See what he has to say to that

Did you miss the fact these 'kids' are now in their 20s and can sort out their own arrangements?