Do all year 6 girls fall out this much?

[BettysSpaghetti]

Ainu? To ask if this is normal?

Dd is in year 6 at primary school. She’s never had any issues with friendships etc. Since the start of year 6 some of the other girls, who she has always been good friends with, have started being a bit mean. They sometimes exclude her and say mean things. Every other day there’s been some kind of falling out. We regularly have tears at home.

It’s like they all had personality transplants! Is it their age, their hormones etc?? Do I speak to the teacher?

I at a loss as to what to do

Yanbu - This is normal
Yabu - this is not normal, speak to the teacher

Yes it’s normal.

Oh God yes. It generally starts in year 4 and then really ramps up in year6. Just wait until secondary school allocations come out, if there are groups going to different schools it gets even worse

It’s normal but still unsettling and a big challenge for them. We are getting a bit of this too at the moment (DD is in primary 6).

Lots of drama seems to happen via phones, which only makes it harder to manage sensibly.

Teachers should t be sorting friendship issues. If it tips into bullying that's when you alert the teacher.
Make sure you are working with your daughter in building her self esteem and resilience and reassure her lots. Lids can be mean. Hopefully they'll grow out if it quickly.

Yep normal.

As long as you’re solid at home and try get her a few friends outside school she’ll come through fine - it’s a tough ride.

I’ve had a Year 6 form for years. It’s totally normal.

I have a Year 6 girl. So far it has been fine. She seems to have got herself into a group of “sporty girls” - all of whom (when we are not in lockdown) are picked up from school by a harassed looking parent who immediately sprints out of the playground with them to take them to gymnastics / ballet / swimming / running / horse riding. Play dates are fairly rare as there is rarely a day when two of them are both free so that avoids all the play date problems. No problems between the parents as we are all too knackered with all the running around plus full of guilt as to whether we are doing the right thing to bother falling out. They also all have “swimming friends” from out of school so are not so dependent on each other for friendship which strangely seems to make the friendships better.

Year 2 / 3 was awful though. Absolutely awful.

Y6 teacher here - very normal and the bane of my life.

I've found it's started earlier than usual this year - assume social media / gaming played a larger part in the lives of my lot during lockdown 1.0.

Interestingly, the boys are arguing more than usual at the moment as well - but it's always a continuation of an argument that's happened on Fortnite the day before.

Norma, sadly. Don't you remember being that age? I remember being nervous on Sundays about going back into the drama at school. Its a rough age.

*normal

I am working on her self esteem a lot at the moment as it had taken a real hit, and I’ve been making sure to spend a lot of quality time with her.

Really feel for you teachers having to deal with this every day!

Yep although this started in year four. However luckily the queen bee fucked off to Ireland so her followers fell apart and now the girls in my dd’s class are all getting along a lot better

YANBU - completely normal. They can be quite vile at this age. If it is tipping over into bullying then you speak to the teacher.

I wanted to write this exact thread, I cannot believe how the kids have changed in year 6. I can't even follow who's fallen out with who each day then made up, besties, will never speak to each other again etc.

DD has a phone but it goes off at night and the weekend now as it was absolutely relentless chatter and some of the language was shockingly

Yep Y6 is bad but my god Y8 has ramped up a whole new level. Y7 wasn't too bad as they were finding their way in a new school.

For my daughter is lasted from year 6 to year 8 when one of the main culprits moved school.

For my DD, year 3 and year 5 were the worst. Since year 6 (she's now in year 8) things have been smooth on the friendship front. So I think it depends. But no harm in mentioning it to the teacher if DD is particularly upset or if you feel there is a recurring pattern.

I teach year 5 (obviously). It’s my boys who have had the personality transplants, my girls are wonderful supportive little angels but Christ, the fighting and the threatening that goes on between the lads! It’s hormones. I’m working on stamping it out because it’s still not acceptable, but it’s a very tricky year for them.

Oh, mention it to the teacher though, sometimes this happens solely in the playground and doesn’t get communicated to us. I’d absolutely want to know if one of my class were crying a lot about issues at school.

It is normal to some extent, but I am not sure regular tears at home are normal.

As a secondary teacher, I think this can carry on in Y7/8 but tends to settle down a bit more as they get a little older and feel more secure in their friendships.

If it is just her being excluded, and none of the others, I would say it is crossing the line into bullying and perhaps you should speak to the teacher.

However, I'd also encourage new friendships- being reliant on just one group of friends often makes things worse.

It's absolutely normal and tends to die down in year 7 and then pick up again at the end of year 7 into year 8 and then settled down in year 9.

As a general rule friendship fallings out aren't an issue to get the teacher involved in, but some parents think it's our job to police friendships, move seats and even class groups when people fall out and so on.

If a situation turns into bullying then the teacher needs to be informed.

Yes sadly very normal. My normally happy go lucky DD had an awful time with bullying and queen bee types, albeit not for very long. It tainted primary a little bit to be honest but maybe more for me. These were girls I knew too and had welcomed into my home. I was very happy for her to move on to secondary to something new.

Yes girls that age can be vile !
I can't tell you how many times i spent the day feeling sick because one of my girls was out of favour and didn't want to face school only to pick them up at the end of the school day to find that everyone had kissed and made up and now it was some other poor girls turn to be on the outside. It is a horrible stage !

Well ...I would say common, very common, but I hate the fact it's normalised. It's a little alarming to me how hands off many parents are at teaching their kid social skills. It can't stop when you've managed to tech them to take turns at age 4 ...Social media undoubtedly plays a role but then parents should be coaching and monitoring the social etiquette around that too. Understanding and navigating social interaction and responsibility is tricky, communication is tricky... But honestly many many parents seem to think that their kid turns 10 they get a phone and that's it, off you go. The kids are really floundering, no bloody wonder we have soaring levels of mental health issues in teen girls...