MN obsessions

[RoughWinds]

Why is MN obsessed with fluffy socks, why not just socks?

Also see new pyjamas, posh chocolate, warm coats, good quality yet inexpensive anything.

Can we use some new adjectives.

I miss when the only thing naice was ham.

The thing with the name changing though is you can’t win. If you NC to post something sensitive you get “interesting first post ”
If you don’t NC you get someone dragging up “but three years ago when you posted you said x,y and z”.

Also the only acceptable dog is a retired greyhound.

Your OH must sit on the pedestal to pee even if he is ratarsed he must obey!! No tradesperson must poo in your toilet he should find a public loo or at least defecate elsewhere as your bog is sacred and your poo doesn't pong!

@Noddyandbiggerears

Also the only acceptable dog is a retired greyhound.

🤣

" ive seen more than one poster claim they can smell women's sanitary towels"

These are the same bloodhounds who can smell fabric softener from 100 paces and will collapse into a vomiting heap if anyone dares eat hot food in the same postcode as them.

These are the same bloodhounds who can smell fabric softener from 100 paces and will collapse into a vomiting heap if anyone dares eat hot food in the same postcode as them.

They can also smell if you wore a jumper , or pair of jeans more than once and can tell (on the very rare occasion they use a public toilet) whether the previous occupant had had a shower that day, or an inferior "strip wash" ....
Although using the toilet at all is a vile and disgusting habit and should be avoided at all costs.

@Fizbosshoes

These are the same bloodhounds who can smell fabric softener from 100 paces and will collapse into a vomiting heap if anyone dares eat hot food in the same postcode as them.

They can also smell if you wore a jumper , or pair of jeans more than once and can tell (on the very rare occasion they use a public toilet) whether the previous occupant had had a shower that day, or an inferior "strip wash" ....
Although using the toilet at all is a vile and disgusting habit and should be avoided at all costs.

Hovering. Until I joined MN, I never realised that there was an entire legion of terrified women waving their bums over public toilets for fear of...of...the toilet. And they're the clean freaks? Hovering sends the stuff everywhere! The toilet seat has only been in contact with the top of people's thighs! There's no lurking horror! Just sit down!

@bobbiester

It's like with the weather forecast - it's always "the odd rumble" of thunder.

There used to be a mumsnetter who worked for the met office and she gave weekly weather forecasts for the upcoming week. That was great

The threads about the covid lockdown rules often amused me. Especially the debates over whether bread and milk were essential items or not, how often you could leave your home etc.

The amount of "despairing" and "shaking with anger" on those threads was utterly mind-blowing. God help anyone who had bought themselves some chocolate or a packet of crisps and then, shock horror, sat down on a park bench to eat them. They were granny killers. Then there was the poster who said we should put cheese in our coffee instead of going to the shop for milk. These have been the Covid Lockdown Police, and the debate now sometimes asks what the hell they will do with their time when all of the restrictions come to an end.

I'd better not get started on the obsession with toilet brushes, who can poo in which toilet and how you are a slattern if you don't change your bedding several times a day.

I love the threads about farts, and the twee euphemisms people prefer to use for them.

Also, I never worried about how long my children did or didn't believe in Santa. Apparently I should have sat them down at some point as they approached secondary school age and very gently broken the news that he wasn't real. That one passed me by but somehow they seem to have survived. It always amazes me though the knots that people tie themselves up in over it.

Also, you cannot simply be disgusted about something. You must be DISGUSTED.

@Topseyt
Then there was the poster who said we should put cheese in our coffee instead of going to the shop for milk
I remember that thread, she was a lunatic, said that cheese was basically milk so it's ok to use it in coffee. She was shaking and sobbing when someone came with 2 metres of her, she thought that anyone and everyone was a granny killer if they bought essential goods. Bread and milk weren't essential goods according to her rules.
I actually remember her user name, I haven't see it for ages so I've assumed that she name changed because she'd made a right fool of herself.

There was a thread recently full of mumsnetters horrified at the thought of using fabric conditioner. As many on here have pointed out, they must have the nose of a bloodhound.

I can smell fabric conditioner on people's clothes, but it's a nice smell. I think people use a bit too much sometimes.

This is one of the websites that i findvery ED triggering tbh. I keep meaning to quit MN as some stuff here wind me up too much. I cant be alone in this.

You're not alone in this.

This is the epitome of MN food policing.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3809077-It-s-rude-to-take-one-look-at-the-dinner-I-have-cooked-then-get-lots-of-condiments-for-it

Especially this comment:

I didn’t make fish and chips. Ketchup or mayo, not both, would be acceptable in that case.

It's not enough to feel upset about something. No you must be "broken" or "ruined".

MN children are always "sporty".

Ketchup mixed with mayo is delicious with fish and chips. It's a couple of the ingredients that go into marie rose sauce for prawns.

MN children are always "sporty"

In RL I was talking to some mothers (who I didnt know especially well) about secondary schools. They all had older children already at one secondary school and were talking about "house music" (as in the school "houses" ) I said my child wasnt musical. They asked if she was sporty.i said no, they all looked at me in a quite horrified way, as if I was a complete parenting failure because I had raised a child who was neither musical or sporty.
I chose a different school for DD!!

@Sparklingbrook Yes, I agree. As an act of rebellion against the MN bloodhounds, every time I see that comment I notice I start using more of the stuff in the hope of giving them a much fabled, obviously non existent fabric conditioner induced migraine.

Competitive commuting ; poster comes on saying she has been offered a wonderful job but it would be a commute of 1.5 hours each way. Cue MNs telling her that is nothing they commute 5 hours each way and work 10 hours but still manage to cook meals from scratch ( another MN obsession).
Same with travelling - poster says she is anxious about travelling with 2 children . MNs tell her to get a grip , they have travelled to Australia with 6 kids and 12 pieces of luggage and a double buggy . No problem .

The answer to any childcare issue is always ‘get a nanny or an au pair’. As if everyone can afford £30k a year on a nanny, or has an extra bedroom just going spare.

I see it all the time on the university threads. I often feel like shouting on any thread about Loughborough University that DD would have hated it because it attracts the "first set PE" types

"were talking about "house music""

I'd have thought they meant Daft Punk or something lol

"It's not enough to feel upset about something. No you must be "broken" or "ruined".

I really hate the word "broken" now thanks to MN.

A PP said something about "fruit [being] full of sugar"

no no no no no no! Do you know nothing? All foodstuffs are always "laden" with unhealthy ingredients.

Fruit laden with sugar
Crisps laden with salt
Biscuits laden with fat
Cereal laden with sugar and salt

And so on

Overuse of the word "spiteful" - makes everyone sound like 8 year old mean-girls in the making

(am i the only one who doesn't know how to NC? is there a way of doing it or do you have to set up a new account?)

Vulvas

OP: DD (3) has told me she has an "an itch in her foofoo "

The whole of MN: You must IMMEDIATELY correct her and tell her it's called a VULVA. And you must explain with diagrams why it's the Vulva and not the vagina.

OP: Oh. But she's just turned three. And it's really about the itch...

The Whole of MN: You are body-shaming and corrupting her. She MUST call it a VULVA and pledge to NEVER trim or tidy her pubic area, or she will become a stripper by the time she's sixteen.