To want to be on my own?

[Someone1987]

I've been with my husband 8 years, married and recently had a baby boy.

However, our son has highlighted our differences in parenting, to the extent I wish I was on my own.

I'm not really sure if I want to be married, I want to be on my own with my son to give him a consistent loving home.

I've been having mental health support for PND and recently been diagnosed with CPTSD after EMDR therapy for past trauma.

A side effect of this is that I've realised I rushed into marriage as wanted a baby to love. I never really wanted the husband. Sometimes I even question if I like men at all. I'd rather just live with a girly friend.

I just want to be on my own, but I know it can never happen.

I have seen programmes about mother and baby units. For some they are very good and helpful. But I think for others it,s more about jumping through hoops and prooving oneself rather then helpful. And if father has already been split from baby with baby in scbu then I can see why he didn,t want to be in the unit. The fact your oh has to give your medication is also a worrying sign.

@june2007 I didn't know whether it was a good idea,but I guess I'll never know.
Why is him giving me my medication a worrying sign?

Because that is not an ordinary or healthy situation, and puts him in charge of your physical well being.

@gwenneh ah. I wondered if it was about my mental health state.
It does make me feel suffocated even more but due to me potentially not being careful with them, I guess there is no choice

Well yes still about your mental state. Because why can,t you be responsable for them yourself. If your on your own how would you manage this?

I actually feel sorry for your husband, you say you wanted a baby, you wanted looking after, if you leave him with his son he'll be stuck supporting your wishes for a long time.

Why are there so many posters defending a man who is likely controlling and ramping up abuse? OP needs support and help not him.

Is it just one person sock puppeting?

OP I would strongly suggest spending more time with your sister. You are allowed to meet socially distanced outside and walks would be good with baby. She may also be allowed to visit indoors as MH support.

@june2007 I'm doing way better now! Not so long ago there was a risk I would take them all, so they've all been handed over and my Sertraline is on a weekly prescription. So I could easily manage that on my own. And when I'm not deemed at risk, they'll let me have them monthly.

@keeprocking I'm not sure you understand me. I want to have my son with me. Just not live with my husband.

@CrimsonCattery thank you.i will see my sister more next week. There are many lovely supportive people on here. There's always some people that seem overly critical of people posting.

When I had PND I felt very similar. When my twins were 1.5 things improved dramatically.

Don't make big decisions when you're low. Therapy may help. But time definitely will x

Definitely move towards managing your own medication if you can, if you want to separate you will need to be able to evidence that you can do this. It’s also a really positive recovery goal.

Going against the grain here, all I hear from your posts are I want, my baby, me me me

You come off as sounding as if you used this man to give you a baby and to look after you and now you have what you want, he can go.

Parenting doesn't come naturally to everyone. Perhaps he just doesn't get it rather than being abusive.

I don't known many husbands who would want their family to go into a mental health unit rather than be at home. Surely that's a last resort?

You come across as the selfish one and as if you used him.

By your own admission, you never wanted the man. Now he has to settle with you in a divorce and pay for you after you got what you wanted.

So when he proposed fast I did it, as wanted my baby

My baby

Not a baby with him. You used him for a sperm donor but he's abusive

This was done by the OP in cold blood.

She knew 7 years ago when she married him it was so she could get her baby.

She knew exactly what she was doing and that she didn't want him.

But he is abusive

Did you sprain something with that overreach?

@Newuser991

This was done by the OP in cold blood.

She knew 7 years ago when she married him it was so she could get her baby.

She knew exactly what she was doing and that she didn't want him.

But he is abusive

Bullshit

OP he sounds very controlling and emotionally abusive to me (been there...). Keep on with the therapy, keep finding those seeds of who you are and start following your own path.

Also keep following your instincts on what is right for your son - ignore your H when he tells you how to feed him, soothe him etc - you know your baby best.

Perhaps go and stay with your sister if you can? Consider it support for a new parent - that's allowed in the rules. Really wishing you all the best and hope you can find your way through to get to somewhere happy

OP, what age were you when you got together with him? You say you've been together 8 years TTC for 7. Have you been married for 8 but together longer?

@liveitwell thank you. X

@incrediblytired thank you. I have asked the psychologist today and she thinks it's reasonable enough for me to have them back monthly again.

@Newuser991 did you set up an account just to comment on this? You seem very triggered by this.

@4amWitchingHour thank you very much ✨ x

@TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup we met when I was 22. He proposed two months later, married at 23. Never didn't not try for a baby to be honest, but due to pcos it didn't happen naturally so we got fertility help (Metformin and clomid) and had miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy before our son when I was 28.im now 29.

When I was 21