Raising issues , due diligence is fine,it's what you are paid to do.
But not wanting to communicate until you are ready, at some none defined future point is unacceptable. That's why you are getting disruptions. Because you are not meeting people's expectations.
if as a rule all conveyancers could be relied on, then you would get fewer disruptions from people checking if anything is happening. If as a profession you could be relied on not to lose things, forget things, sit on things, take on too much work, there would be less likelihood of disruption from people checking that everything is progressing.
It doesn't actually matter if you personally never do these things. People deal with you rarely, they know that problems are commonplace. They would be negligent if they didn't make some effort to ensure you were actually doing your job.
And all this talk of overwork, I know that errors are made when people are overworked. Again, presenting the business in a bad light.
That also does not excuse rudeness by the clients, but again, you would minimise that if the clients felt you were on there side not holding yourself aloof.