AIBU to want to tell my sister to change baby’s name?

[Eleanora8]

My nephew is due this week and my sis really wants to name him Atlas! Me, my parents and her friends all dislike it and my Mum has made her feelings clear and joked she hopes he never gets lost with a name like Atlas...
My sis got upset but I wanted to tell her I hated the name too but felt bad.
Should I speak up (vote yes) or keep quiet (vote no)?

@SionnachRua That is very cute. My nieces friend has one of the names above it is very her she is an amazing teenager.

You can’t dictate the name she chooses purely because you don’t like it. She isn’t choosing an offensive name, it’s perfectly acceptable and I think it’s lovely too.

Are people really using ‘if he’s chubby, people will call him Fatlas’ as a reason not to use a name? 🙄 It’s not even funny. Nor is it inevitable.

Kids aren’t bullied because of their name, or their hair colour or whatever else is used as a thing to tease them about. Bullying is about power relationships and social hierarchies and things like that. A skinny, glasses wearing, ginger called Virgil might be the most popular kid on the class, while completely average Oliver might be bullied horribly. It’s not really about the name.

Your sister probably thinks your kids have shit names @Eleanora8. She just doesn’t bang on about it.

My mum doesn’t like my nephews’ names. They’re both Arabic names I’d never heard before she named them. They’ve got standard British middle names. For the first 4 years of the eldest’s life, my mum insisted in using his (and his brother’s) middle name rather than their name. They aren’t my kids and it still drove me mad. My mum had her chance at naming me and my sister (and I’ve got a truly crap name, so well done her). She doesn’t get to pass comment on her grandkids’ names.

Why hamper your kid by giving them a weird name when they're unlikely to thank you for it later?

Because in this instance weird is subjective. Who decides which names are weird and which are ok to use? You might think that my children have "weird" names because they aren't very common in the UK, but in the village that I grew up in they are fairly middle of the road. They're named after older members of my family, which is traditional in my home country.

If my kids tell me that they are being bullied because of their "weird" names then I will tell them that the people bullying them are small minded bigots who are very nasty and not worth being friends with. I won't change my behaviour to appease bullies and I don't want my children to either.

I like the name. There I said it. Its not your baby but hers and her decision entirely.

I personally dont like it and wouldn't choose it either, BUT its not my choice neither is it yours.

This is precisely the reason I would tell people I hadn't chose a name yet when they asked if I had any names when I was pregnant. I know people would be a lot less likely to say they dint like a name when baby is already born and been named it. And no one has said they dont like my childs name. At least not to me, they may have to friends or whatever but I dont care. Me and his Dad like it and that is all that matters.

It's a good name. Far better than the current fad of giving kids surnames for first names. (Mitchell, Jackson, Riley etc).

Laugh at anyone who makes road-map jokes, it just shows their lack of education.

You might think that my children have "weird" names because they aren't very common in the UK, but in the village that I grew up in they are fairly middle of the road. They're named after older members of my family, which is traditional in my home country.

From my experience (and this is admittedly anecdotal), children are very accepting of culturally different names and don't think they're weird at all. They're less accepting of names which are just odd.

I won't change my behaviour to appease bullies and I don't want my children to either.

I agree in principle but in the end it's not you who has to live with it, is it? Children are not merely an extension of their parents.

From my experience (and this is admittedly anecdotal), children are very accepting of culturally different names and don't think they're weird at all. They're less accepting of names which are just odd.

It's good to have a story behind a name. Especially if you want to make an impression in an interview ....

I quite like it.

It's not your business.

Agree l also did not share DD's name. It's an old fashioned name but not popular. Kept it quiet because for some reason people think you should give a fuck about their opinions on your baby's name. 🤷‍♀️ Weird, huh?

From my experience (and this is admittedly anecdotal), children are very accepting of culturally different names and don't think they're weird at all.

My experience was different. I have a traditional name and it was the source of so much bullying. I agonized over what names to give my children because I didn't want to repeat the cycle. But then I realised that I would be disrespecting my own family and letting the bullies win. I also felt that my Asian features were more the cause of the bullying than my name itself. Besides, the UK is sinking like a stone right now. I wouldn't be surprised if my kids decide they want to move somewhere else, where the names are all different anyway. "Weird" is extremely subjective.

From my experience (and this is admittedly anecdotal), children are very accepting of culturally different names and don't think they're weird at all.

I'd agree. Maybe living in Birmingham with all cultures around skews my view ?

I would tell her it's awful.

To be frank, its nothing to do with any of you what your sister names her child.

A family member made a joke about one of the names we were considering before my son was born and it really pissed us off. The same family member decided to text me 4 name suggestions when I was in labour... which also pissed me off.

It's her baby and if she likes the name that's all that matters

I think there’s a middle ground here; as @Banoffeepies says, there’s a child involved who will have to live with that. It’s not a question of “ooh, I don’t like Michael very much, reminds me of Michael Parkinson”. It’s just asking your sister to be sure that she’s thought through the potential impact on the child of giving him a name that has unfortunate connotations in Greek mythology and may well be a cause of embarrassment all his life. Someone on MN once said that naming a child is not an exercise showing the world how quirky and individual you are - and I do agree with that.

I agree with this. You can’t tell her not to do it; you can’t tell her you hate it; but you can kindly check that she understands the origin of the name and the association it has, and that she’s still comfortable giving her child the name with that knowledge.

I know (as in went to school with someone, still connected on social media) who has had a son called Atlas, named thus because his parents ‘like travelling’. As you say, firstly, naming your child isn’t your big moment to make a statement to the world about yourself and your hobbies and how terribly interesting you are. Secondly, the name actually signifies the opposite of that - Atlas was trapped in suffering for all eternity.

I think it's a really nice name actually

To those who think I'm being mean, our family is just very direct. My sister is just as direct as the rest of us and just how we are. My sister once even told me to dump a boyfriend as she didn't like him! So, update is that my sister's DP didn't make the connection of the name Atlas with the word for a 'book of maps and has gone right off it!

@KumquatSalad

Are people really using ‘if he’s chubby, people will call him Fatlas’ as a reason not to use a name? 🙄 It’s not even funny. Nor is it inevitable.

Kids aren’t bullied because of their name, or their hair colour or whatever else is used as a thing to tease them about. Bullying is about power relationships and social hierarchies and things like that. A skinny, glasses wearing, ginger called Virgil might be the most popular kid on the class, while completely average Oliver might be bullied horribly. It’s not really about the name.

Your sister probably thinks your kids have shit names @Eleanora8. She just doesn’t bang on about it.

My mum doesn’t like my nephews’ names. They’re both Arabic names I’d never heard before she named them. They’ve got standard British middle names. For the first 4 years of the eldest’s life, my mum insisted in using his (and his brother’s) middle name rather than their name. They aren’t my kids and it still drove me mad. My mum had her chance at naming me and my sister (and I’ve got a truly crap name, so well done her). She doesn’t get to pass comment on her grandkids’ names.

One of my kids is named after my sister so goes to shown what you know !

Ultimately it’s her child and she can call him what she likes but he’ll probably get the shit ripped out of him at school. Boy in our class was called Drew only his surname was Peacock. He had fun.

It’s none if your Business so no don’t say anything.

Honestly I think it's a fairly unremarkable name.

It's a dreadful name, I have to agree, but YABU. It's not your baby, not your choice.