Would you/should you delay TTC to attend family wedding abroad?

[BabyOrWedding]

My only sibling was due to get married on the other side of the world (where they live) in summer but obviously it got cancelled. Me and DP were hoping to attend the wedding then come back and shortly begin TTC, as we would also be turning 34 and didn’t want to leave it much longer. The wedding is now planned for next August when me and DP will have both just turned 35. The wedding is in a high risk Zika virus area too so we will have to pay for blood tests when we get back to check we are clear before we TTC. I would be just about to turn 36 when I gave birth if I was lucky enough to fall pregnant straight away, following negative Zika test.
Postponing TTC until at least next September/October makes me feel a bit anxious if I am honest, but I am torn between TTC and wanting to see my only sibling get married - the wedding would also be a trip of a lifetime as we would be incorporating it into a 3 week holiday/travelling as well.

I have a DC (from a previous relationship) so I know everything was working biologically back then but I am that much older now.

YABU - go to the wedding and TTC upon return

YANBU - don’t go and prioritise TTC

Its' crazy to postpone TTC for an event in a year.

why take the risk ? it's your bio clock not your siblings.

Mad to postpone. You have no idea how long it will take you to conceive. It may take ages, in which case you can go anyway. But if you wait, and then start trying at 36, then you try for a year and it doesn't happen, then you get investigated for infertility, then need treatment (can you pay for that privately or would you need the NHS, which can involve waiting years and has age cut offs you might be up against?) which takes ages....

I don't want to be doom and gloom, but you can see where I'm going with this. I started trying to conceive at age 32 and between infertility treatment, a heartbreaking late miscarriage and various other things, I had DC1 at 36 and DC2 shortly before I turned 40. Much later than I'd planned. All worked out in the end, but my attempts to schedule things didn't pan out as I'd intended.

Obviously you don't want to miss your sister's wedding, but if you can't go because you are pregnant, she should understand. If you want, try for a few months, then if it gets to the month or two months before the wedding and you haven't conceived, you could pause your attempts and go, then start again when you are back.

Because you were planning the holiday/travelling too then I would postpone. Once you have a child it’s unlikely you would get the chance to do that again.

Your sister's wedding < getting pregnant.

My opinion, do not postpone your happiness

Would your sister change her wedding to not be in a Zika area for you? Probably not.

And why would you sacrifice so much for just a wedding?

TTC now!

Don't wait..who knows what next year holds and you can't put a hold on your age

You might find it’s postponed again. It’s not reasonable to stay in limbo.

At 34 you haven't got time to postpone.
24 absolutely wait, 34 you don't want to leave it too late

A wedding, while a very important day for your sibling and I'm sure for you to, is just that; a day. Prioritise TTC. If my sister did the same I would support her 100%. No hesitation at all. Anyone who wouldn't probably isn't a very good sister.

Don't put off TTC. A year is a long time at your stage of life!

Too*

You don't postpone for events you see what happens and walk with it when it does. You'd be mad if if you tried around your sisters wedding.

No way - don’t put it off!

@Oregano20

Your sister's wedding My opinion, do not postpone your happiness

Would your sister change her wedding to not be in a Zika area for you? Probably not.

And why would you sacrifice so much for just a wedding?

Yes. You can forgive the couple for not thinking through the wedding in a zika area, but any decision to go abroad increases the likelihood that people can't or may suddenly be prevented from attending, even if they plan to.

Gawd no I’d just crack on tbh! My “friend” had to move her wedding to next summer too - I now can’t go as I’m pregnant and The due date falls very close to her wedding. I’d also have to fly there so it’s not possible!

She hasn’t taken it well and actually said we knew that her wedding was coming up - she sent a save the date!?? And was so annoyed

Madness expecting people to put their lives on hold for a wedding

It’s unfortunate but these things happen

Hopefully your sister is more understanding

Also a previous poster said you’ll never be able to go travelling again once you have the baby so to consider that

I really don’t agree - we are taking our baby travelling next year if it’s allowed or course - so I wouldn’t let that be the reason you wait either

If this year has taught us anything it's that you never know what the future holds. Don't put it off.

And what if it gets postponed again or cancelled?

I would choose TTC. It’s one of those things where you want time on your side.
Is it possible to try and if your not pregnant, book a shortened trip around the wedding.

100 percent start do not plan your life around a wedding that's already postponed, abroad and in a risk area. There's all sorts of video links etc available now.

Definitely do not postpone TTC. I would not risk becoming childless over someone else's choice of wedding venue.

I mean, don't tell anyone because it may not happen for a while but definitely go ahead and TTC.

Why cant you just ttc now then take the baby with you?

Would you want to tell your sibling that you didn’t have another child as their wedding was more important? Bonkers

Start TTC tonight

Start trying op. You never know what's going to happen and what if it's put off again? They may have to readjust their plans anyway. Anyone could get pregnant any time and this would be an issue.