Christmas Travel outside of 23-27 window: AIBU?

[ProvisionallyAnxious]

I live at the opposite end of the UK from my parents, who are desperate to see my DD (18 months) at Christmas. I'd been planning on travelling down and back up over 2 days (because toddler), so aiming to leave our home on 22nd and arriving at parents on 23rd, and then leaving 27th and continuing to travel on 28th. However this would mean us travelling outside of the easing period for travel restrictions. We would inevitably be travelling between tiers but would only stop to get out of the car to go to the toilet and get petrol.

If we only travelled within the 5 day period we'd basically be spending 4 of those days in the car and only 1 with my parents, which given the hell of long-distance travel with a toddler seems ridiculous. They're allowing people travelling from NI an extra day on either side which makes sense for the logistics and extra travel time involved, but seems unfair on people making long journeys from elsewhere in the country.

AIBU to travel on either side of the window and pay any fines that might come our way? Reality check please Mumsnet -- what would you all do?

Where will you sleep on nights in between?

Sorry, should have added - in a Travelodge, planning to pretty much just tumble into bed(hoping to get half the drive done whilst DD is asleep) and then leave early next morning.

You'll have to be careful with the Travelodge, hotels can be forced to close if in an area with high infections.

Isn't the date window about spending time with people, not travelling?

So as you will only be with your parents 23-27 anyway, that seems to me to be within the rules?

But yes, obviously make sure there is suitable hotel accomodation available, I would have thought there would be service station Travel lodges if nothing else.

No chance of flying?

Alternatively, any tips for managing a LOOONG one-day drive with an 18 month old who isn't a huge fan of being constrained in the carseat. I'm not sure I can see us being capable of driving through the night.

Cross posted about the hotel. Maybe once the information about tiers comes out tomorrow, maybe see if there are any convenient TLs in lower tier areas.

We’re probably going to travel to my parents on the 26th and return on 28th having stayed at home and not seen anyone else beforehand. I can’t see how that will make any difference in terms of risk to anyone. Plus it gives a longer window between school breaking up and seeing them.

How many hours is the car journey?

@ProvisionallyAnxious

Alternatively, any tips for managing a LOOONG one-day drive with an 18 month old who isn't a huge fan of being constrained in the carseat. I'm not sure I can see us being capable of driving through the night.

From experience I’d say quite a lot of screen time and snacks. Try to time it so that she might have a nap. Can an adult sit in the back and play with her? A little tray so she can do stickers or play dough

At that age, we drove through the night. Got the toddlers sorted and into pyjamas, then into car and set off. Shared the driving in 3-4 hour blocks. It wasn’t exactly a picnic, but was a better alternative than splitting over 2-3 days (we had huge issues with food availability due to multiple allergies as well).

I’d probably still choose to do that rather than splitting the journey, if I wasn’t sure I could split it the way I wanted to/couldn’t be sure of what accommodation would be available.

If you want to travel all in one day, I would leave at lunchtime and give your little one lunch in the car and then a nap. Stop after naptime for a few hours and then give them dinner in the car and drive whilst they are sleeping.

Is a flight feasible instead of driving to maximise the time you have with your family?

We have a 7 hour drive to get to PIL. We're going down on 23rd and driving back on 28th, I don't know if the window means we can legitimately stay on 27th as long as we leave before midnight, but we'll be staying the night on 27th and leaving first thing on 28th. I doubt we will be the only people doing this, as a family, we've risk assessed and are comfortable with it.

Just driving time its 8.5 hours (assuming no traffic or delays). In the past with two adults and stopping for regular breaks we've done it in about 10 hours total.

DD has almost dropped her nap - we get a half hour nap out of her if we're lucky. She's super high-energy and does not sit still!

We've considered driving through the night but I'm just not sure how capable DH and I are of doing it safely.

@Womencanlift we could potentially fly -- though this would worry me more in many ways. Partly being in crowded settings but also relying on my parents for carseat etc (having seen the carseat they use for my DNephew I had always sworn we'd always go down with our own car and seat!).

@Womencanlift

Is a flight feasible instead of driving to maximise the time you have with your family?

In terms of covid risk, sitting on a plane, sharing air with a load of people sounds much more risky than sitting in a car then staying in a hotel but not being near and people for any length of time.

8 hours imo is definitely doable - I'd leave your destination at about 4pm, 2 hour drive before stopping for a picnic tea back in the car for 2 hours and then stop, change into pyjamas and nappy and do the final 4 hours non stop. Should be home by 1am.

@Findahouse21 that's not a bad shout.

Ugh, I just had it in my head when they were talking about all this that the travel window would be slightly wider than the 'visiting houses' window, so we'd have 5 days with family and travel either side. Silly of me really!

My parents also live a 9 hour drive away so when doing it with the kids (now 2 and 6) we leave here around 6pm after we've had dinner, let them watch a movie on the tablet at the start of the journey after which they generally fall asleep and sleep right through. Means less stops and we arrive in the wee hours but then we have the full day with them so it's worth it. Doing it during the day is a nightmare

Personally I'd leave home at 4pm on 22nd so arriving very early hours of the 23rd, I'd just want to avoid hotels

@Findahouse21 yep... even that would technically be breaking the rules but I can absolutely see the preference for that (gives us an extra day to recover in between the two journeys). I wonder how, practically speaking, they'll be enforcing the travel restrictions...

Could your parents not come down to you?

Honestly, I wouldn't do it. Your dd is too little to know/care if she is with her grandparents at Christmas and the distances involved, plus the risk, isn't worth it.

Skype or Zoom your parents on Christmas Day and focus on seeing them next year

id try and work out of the hotel you want will be open depends on tiers really

i dont know why you would think it should be longer i think 5 days is too long personally

iPad in the car was the best way for us to travel in summer with an 18 month old. Gave us some peace. She also slept more being in the car for a long time than she usually would (she is a toddler who does not stop moving) as I guess being strapped in calmed and contained her. I sat in the back with her for part of the journey so we could ‘play’ too